Ambrose2007 Forum Posts (8,881)

What is the most common way(s) your romantic relationships end? Is there a pattern?

When do romantic preferences become unrealistic expectations or even vintage intolerance?

You've just quoted my fave philosopher. What a dogmatist!

When do romantic preferences become unrealistic expectations or even vintage intolerance?

Actually, I think it's logically impossible to avoid "absolutist" thinking if "nothing," "never," "ever," etc. are defining characteristics of it.

Any definitive statement is absolutist, and I don't see anything wrong with *some* things being necessarily true in an absolute sense.

When do romantic preferences become unrealistic expectations or even vintage intolerance?

You can literally see the mischief in those eyes, right, G?

When do romantic preferences become unrealistic expectations or even vintage intolerance?

I think the key point - at least what I took from your above post - is that it is impossible not to take a strong stance with regard to *something*.

Perhaps that has some application to our stances toward romantic partners as well?

When do romantic preferences become unrealistic expectations or even vintage intolerance?

Why isn't "Everything in moderation" also a dogma, G?

What is the most common way(s) your romantic relationships end? Is there a pattern?

Thanks, Taino! I always appreciate your kind comments.

Do you agree with my definition? Have something to add?

When do romantic preferences become unrealistic expectations or even vintage intolerance?

Oh, you and Grammargirl would get along famously, Sweet!

I have the same requirement, and have been branded a bigot or a snob or even as "controlling" because of it.

So is this a reasonable requirement, or a prejudicial one? Does it artificially limit our options?

What if instead of requiring someone to spell and speak correctly, we required that they be able to bench press at least 200 lbs. and/or perform 40 pushups? How about if we required our mate to take an intelligence test, and would only accept someone who exceeded a particular score?

Where does the unreasonable and reasonable part company in these kinds of selective criteria? What standards could we use to determine that?

When do romantic preferences become unrealistic expectations or even vintage intolerance?

Well, right, Athens, but the interesting thing is that most people regard their feelings about what they like in a person as realistic and even rather sacrosanct - that is, they don't see any point (until strongly pushed) in reconsidering their preferences.

So my question to you is: How do we know when our preferences are too inflexible or otherwise unreasonable? You may not bend on wanting a guy who's bright and compassionate, whereas Suzy Strange (your downstairs neighbor...not sure if you've met her ) won't date someone who is isn't extremely well-endowed. From her point of view, that's a perfectly reasonable preference - she feels strongly that she couldn't be attracted to anyone of normal or small size, and there's not much she can do about that. And Beverly Odd next door wants a guy who loves horses and his tall, dark, and extremely handsome. She doesn't like people who don't like horses, and has little interest in blond guys of medium height.

So how do we distinguish the reasonable from the unreasonable with respect to our preferences, my dear Athens?

When do romantic preferences become unrealistic expectations or even vintage intolerance?

Ah, I'm glad you made an appearance, G, because your remarks about "absolutism" and "intolerance" inspired this thread. Got me thinking about the line between legitimate tastes and silly, self-defeating, nitpicking tastes...

You know, one quality that was on my list that was close to absolute was that I would never date a Christian or any other kind of religionist.

GG considers herself to be a Christian. So much for my absolutism (I will no doubt simmer in an atheist/humanist hell for awhile to pay for this sin [note the "simmer" and "awhile" - atheist/humanists are more forgiving on these matters )

What is the most common way(s) your romantic relationships end? Is there a pattern?

I'll give it a shot: A relationship game-player is someone who regularly and deliberately presents false information in order to deceive individuals into performing desired actions.

"False information" can include lying about one's age, occupation, income, physical characteristics, feelings, and just about anything else, as well as pretending to be someone one is not. The goal is to get someone to do something they would presumably not do without these deceptions.

When do romantic preferences become unrealistic expectations or even vintage intolerance?

Just had a thought - you weren't referring to the rope I have flipped over my shoulder, are you?

When do romantic preferences become unrealistic expectations or even vintage intolerance?

Have you known many guys who had to do that, Restless? (I know of some women on this list who might actually find that rather appealing ).

When do romantic preferences become unrealistic expectations or even vintage intolerance?

Sure, but I think one would need to examine past circumstances with an eye toward discovering how fundamentally related they are to what we are actually looking for in a partner. It certainly seems questionable to brand all construction workers or doctors or musicians, etc., as undesirable because of one bad experience.

When do romantic preferences become unrealistic expectations or even vintage intolerance?

I'll give an example from my own experience. I've known a woman or two who absolutely, under no circumstances, would consider dating a man with any form of facial hair. I certainly agree that a preference for clean-shaven or some form of beard is fine...but should that always be an absolute condition?

My love strongly prefers clean-shaven, but has learned to love my goatee (I keep it short, and periodically do go clean-shaven). How many other women would be capable or willing to entertain that kind of flexibility?

Of course, this thread isn't about a particular physical or psychological characteristic, but this raises a more specific question: Is there some particular physical feature that would cause you to absolutely reject someone, and do you think that rejection would be reasonable?

When do romantic preferences become unrealistic expectations or even vintage intolerance?

Everyone has esthetic preferences when it comes to romantic partners (or friends, for that matter), but the controversy "rages" on about what constitutes legitimate preferences versus tastes which are too (nit)picky, unrealistic, prejudicial, or otherwise unreasonably restrictive.

When does what we like in a partner go from reasonable tastes to unreasonable, even self-defeating esthetic demands?

How often do you feel you've borne the brunt of unrealistic expectations or have yourself (for the very brave and honest!) ended relationships because of unrealistic or unfair demands of your partner?

What is the most common way(s) your romantic relationships end? Is there a pattern?

Would SHOUTING be acceptable? I would be upset, too, by a lack of grammar in a lady....

What is the most common way(s) your romantic relationships end? Is there a pattern?

Okay, so we've added "game-playing" to our list of relationship-terminators (even Scrabble?).

Of course, "game-playing" never seems to get defined. I have a feeling that definition might vary from person to person. What, exactly, is a "game-player," I wonder. I'd love a precise definition...

What is the most common way(s) your romantic relationships end? Is there a pattern?

I suppose there's always Strip Poker...?

RE: How recent is your picture on your profile?

This photo is a couple of days old. I liked the way my hair was looking that day, so I didn't even bother with my usual wigs.

What is the most common way(s) your romantic relationships end? Is there a pattern?

Then I guess I won't be challenging to a Chess game anytime soon...?

What is the most common way(s) your romantic relationships end? Is there a pattern?

It's not just men who do that, V.

What is the most common way(s) your romantic relationships end? Is there a pattern?

Thanks for sharing that. And I like your new pic, btw, Jan.

Yeah, at that age there's soooo much growing to do. It must've been frustrating, perhaps even agonizing, to watch you grow away from him. He must be a good man to have given you that freedom. I always thought if by some freakish circumstance I ended up marrying someone a lot younger than I, I would have to brace myself for that possibility.

Now if you set your sights in the "opposite direction," you might end up facing the same dilemma as your Ex? Wouldn't that be an awful irony?

What is the most common way(s) your romantic relationships end? Is there a pattern?

You clearly don't live near a pig farm...

What is the most common way(s) your romantic relationships end? Is there a pattern?

Merry Easter, G!

What is the most common way(s) your romantic relationships end? Is there a pattern?

Beats a kick in the groin, I guess.

What is the most common way(s) your romantic relationships end? Is there a pattern?

So I guess we could add "problems due to age difference" into the mix, Jan? That's the main inference I take from your first paragraph. We've covered jealousy as a relationship-ender.

So you're looking to experience the same thing you once had with your ex-husband...that's interesting, because you reference that relationship as an ideal, and yet it didn't last (mainly because of the age difference?)....

Would your belief that it's highly unlikely to find that particular kind of love again have any bearing on what's happened since your breakup with your ex-husband?

What is the most common way(s) your romantic relationships end? Is there a pattern?

Same to you, my fellow worshipper!

RE: LEAVING FOR CANADA TOMORROW

Seriously, I hope you have a fun and safe trip, Joanne. And let's hope the snow has thawed and the weather is great - congratulations on returning to your homeland!

RE: LEAVING FOR CANADA TOMORROW

Is that legal in Canada??!!