I only contact those with kids for that very same reason. The polarity of lifestyles between those with kids and those without, are usually pretty wide. I learned that the hard way with my ex-wife. She had no kids and I had one from a previous marriage. Not only was she unable & unwilling to connect with my child, she resented the fact that I had to pay child support every month. She was jealous of the time I spent with my child as well.
Needless to say that marriage lasted but a breif 2 1/2 years. I couldn't fault her too much. Our lifestyles were just too different. The fact that I didn't catch this dynamic at first resulted in a lot of hurt feelings for my child. This marriage has to be one of the biggest regrets in my life. Not because it ended...but because it began.
I was intimidated by someone I met with from here. She didn't look anything like her picture and it turned out her profile was a complete lie. I felt like I had been conned. Also, a little unsettled that I was sitting across a table in a Timmies with a complete whack job
I like the live chat room idea. I also like the posts on music, books, and the arts. Im betting there is an extrordinary collection of creative people on this site.
Im a single Dad...Im a package deal. My kids are part of my life, we are inseparable. I would never put my kids in the backseat of a relationship. If someone Im seeing doesn't accept my kids? Buh Bye.
On the other hand, I do not introduce my kids to someone I'm seeing, until I feel that the relationship is going somewhere. My Father was a single Dad too. I remember as a kid, a virtual parade of new "aunts" that never seemed to stick around for very long.
I agree...I've been separated for 5 years. I don't even have a "legal separation" order in place. I havn't heard or seen my ex in 4 years. I am definately single.
Niagara Area is down to around 77 cents per. Who cares...fill up cheap while you can. We all know it will go up again. You know it's sad when we find ourselves saying..."Oh look, gas is only a buck a litre...Great!
Life is a journey, not an event or destination. As long as Im in forward motion. If the grass keeps getting greener as I go along, I'm happy with that. Sometimes I have to step back into the brown grass to pick up things I missed along the way. That's OK too I guess, as long as I don't step in the dog crap that can be hidden there.
I agree with you shyatfirst...There are times in our lives when we can be extremely needy, or extremely vulnerable. Usually due to life's circumstances. I think thats just being human. To live in a constant of neediness or vulnerability, would make for a pretty fearful existance. Im moving in two weeks and for me moving always makes me feel a little vulnerable. The instability and unsettledness of a semi-packed up house. Once I get settled in the new place, I know I will feel more centred
Yesterday my 3 and a half year old turned, stuck his butt out...began patting it with his hand, and with a silly grin said..."I'm smiling at you!". He picks this up at day care Im sure. I said quietly to him..."that's not very nice" while I ran from the room and howled for about 15 minutes.
I agree that her "neediness" made her vulnerable. I walked away because Im not into that. There are plenty of guys out there who latch on to needy people because...they need to be "needed".
Guys who like to play the knight in shining armour. Control Freaks prey on needy people because they are easily taken advantage of. They never say no because they fear rejection if they don't "cooperate". Any good book on co-dependancy explains these weird dynamics more clearly. A few good books by Melody Beattie are out there on the subject.
They definately mean 2 different things as far as I'm concerned.
Vulnerable means easily hurt or "thin skinned". I dated a gal who was so self concious and narcissistic that she was put out or "hurt by virtually anything that was said to her.
She was also very needy, always seeking re-assurance, never confident of her own decisions. She always wanted to "just check" with me about anything she did. She was always wanting to know where I was and who I talked to. She suffered separation anxiety when I wasn't around, phoning me at work throughout the day to just "check in".
Needless to say I only saw her for a few weeks. People that live like this are emotional sponges and black holes. They suck all the energy from those they come in contact with. If you have one of these type of people in your life, GET OUT. They never change and no amount of reassurance will satisfy their neediness.
Hey dude...don't ya know... men don't get broken hearts. We get them stomped on, dragged through razor wire, and run over by heavy things like...paving machinery.
All kidding aside, I've had my heart broken several times. We hurt just like the gals. The hurt passes. In the moment though you might think you will never get through it, you will though. I was in a relationship that went south...it took me 2 1/2 years before I could even look at another gal. I survived and I became a stronger person for taking the time I needed. Good on you for taking the risk and asking the question.
I agree, to be on this site we all have to tell a little about ourselves. Earlier in the week a woman sent me an email with no pic. She also told me that her entire profile was B.S. She explained that she didn't want anyone to know what she was really about. My thoughts were;"why are you here?". I didn't reply and blocked her.
Good point...they won't let us forget who controls the world's media. I imagine; if what happened in Rwanda took place, let's say...in Sweden? Im sure the global response would have been quite different.
Maybe I think it's about not having an agenda, i.e "looking for soulmate # 37". When I see an ad that says "looking for a soulmate"... I hear lonely/desparate. Whats wrong with friendship, casual dating, etc. If I meet someone and it turns out I've met someone really special, and, I met them through this forum...Bonus.
I think showing all your cards by saying one is looking for a soul mate right off the hop is like going from point A to point Z without the in between. But definately I will never give up looking. I just won't go trolling either, hoping someone gets caught in the net.
Spagooch Forum Posts (387)
RE: Do you have a favorite quote?
"Here I sit all broken hearted...paid my dime...