Is "Vulnerable" and "Needy"..the same thing? (16)
wikkedAjax, Ontario Canada655 Threads 4 Polls 6,091 PostsJust would like the opinions on how to differentiate these two words...if they can be separated. Is being vulnerable and being needy two entirely different traits? and how do you tell the difference?
vulnerable means you can become an easy prey to some unscrupulous individual
while needy means you can't do without the person, or a person, when they leave your side for a few mins/ hours etc
while needy means you can't do without the person, or a person, when they leave your side for a few mins/ hours etc
Needy - you can't identify yourself anymore. You can only view yourself in the sense of "us"
Vulnerable - you're far more open to what's going on, far more willing to accept love from another. It's not a negative term, it's just an emotional willingness to let it all hang out regardless of consequence, it's liberating even if a bit frightening BEFORE you let go.
my .02
Vulnerable - you're far more open to what's going on, far more willing to accept love from another. It's not a negative term, it's just an emotional willingness to let it all hang out regardless of consequence, it's liberating even if a bit frightening BEFORE you let go.
my .02
What Gibs said! 
They definately mean 2 different things as far as I'm concerned.
Vulnerable means easily hurt or "thin skinned". I dated a gal who was so self concious and narcissistic that she was put out or "hurt by virtually anything that was said to her.
She was also very needy, always seeking re-assurance, never confident of her own decisions. She always wanted to "just check" with me about anything she did. She was always wanting to know where I was and who I talked to. She suffered separation anxiety when I wasn't around, phoning me at work throughout the day to just "check in".
Needless to say I only saw her for a few weeks. People that live like this are emotional sponges and black holes. They suck all the energy from those they come in contact with. If you have one of these type of people in your life, GET OUT. They never change and no amount of reassurance will satisfy their neediness.
Vulnerable means easily hurt or "thin skinned". I dated a gal who was so self concious and narcissistic that she was put out or "hurt by virtually anything that was said to her.
She was also very needy, always seeking re-assurance, never confident of her own decisions. She always wanted to "just check" with me about anything she did. She was always wanting to know where I was and who I talked to. She suffered separation anxiety when I wasn't around, phoning me at work throughout the day to just "check in".
Needless to say I only saw her for a few weeks. People that live like this are emotional sponges and black holes. They suck all the energy from those they come in contact with. If you have one of these type of people in your life, GET OUT. They never change and no amount of reassurance will satisfy their neediness.
So would you agree then that her "vulnerability" made her "needy"?
I will agree wholeheartedly though that such people are like "sponges" and "black holes"...such a person needs to seek the help they need to become an emotionally healthy person before they can contribute anything positive to a relationship...
Been in a few of those myself...wore myself down trying to be a therapist...and walked away with absolutely "zero" in the way of a "relationship"...my loss...and theirs for sure!!
I will agree wholeheartedly though that such people are like "sponges" and "black holes"...such a person needs to seek the help they need to become an emotionally healthy person before they can contribute anything positive to a relationship...
Been in a few of those myself...wore myself down trying to be a therapist...and walked away with absolutely "zero" in the way of a "relationship"...my loss...and theirs for sure!!
Two totally different degrees Urs.
I am vulnerable because I choose to be open and accepting so that love will arrive at my door.
Needy speaks of desperation and throwing oneself all over another to the point of suffocation.
I am vulnerable because I choose to be open and accepting so that love will arrive at my door.
Needy speaks of desperation and throwing oneself all over another to the point of suffocation.
Hi Urs,
Vulnerable and Needly are two very different "states of being". L.
Vulnerable and Needly are two very different "states of being". L.
Vulnerable suggests being at risk for disappointment or even harm. Being open so love will find you is a positive thing. I don't think that makes you vulnerable.
I agree with needy, as you describe it and would add that it is heavily burdened with insecurity and lack of trust.
I agree with needy, as you describe it and would add that it is heavily burdened with insecurity and lack of trust.
I agree that her "neediness" made her vulnerable. I walked away because Im not into that. There are plenty of guys out there who latch on to needy people because...they need to be "needed".
Guys who like to play the knight in shining armour. Control Freaks prey on needy people because they are easily taken advantage of. They never say no because they fear rejection if they don't "cooperate". Any good book on co-dependancy explains these weird dynamics more clearly. A few good books by Melody Beattie are out there on the subject.
Guys who like to play the knight in shining armour. Control Freaks prey on needy people because they are easily taken advantage of. They never say no because they fear rejection if they don't "cooperate". Any good book on co-dependancy explains these weird dynamics more clearly. A few good books by Melody Beattie are out there on the subject.
Melody Beattie's books are excellent. I think that when I make myself vulnerable, I open myself up to someone. Being needy is scary. But on the other hands there are times that we sometimes feel needy. And it is ok to acknowledge that as long as you don't go into the (scary) extremes.
That is just my opinion....
That is just my opinion....
I agree with you shyatfirst...There are times in our lives when we can be extremely needy, or extremely vulnerable. Usually due to life's circumstances. I think thats just being human. To live in a constant of neediness or vulnerability, would make for a pretty fearful existance. Im moving in two weeks and for me moving always makes me feel a little vulnerable. The instability and unsettledness of a semi-packed up house. Once I get settled in the new place, I know I will feel more centred 
Good luck with your packing and move! This is as positive as I can get for you. Anything else would be a lie. I really don't like moving.....
Is being vulnerable and needy two separate things? Yes. 'Vulnerable' means you are open to accepting bad advice and are easily led astray. 'Needy' is more of an affectionate wanting, henceforth meaning clingy and unsure of their own affections. i.e. "He/she was too clingy and needy for me." 
When I'm vulnerable my brain still works. I might be more open to my feelings but I'm not more easily led astray nor do I accept bad advice. Even with good advice..... I listen, think it over and decide if it works for me.
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