Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had set their new wives straight on their duties.
The first man had married a woman from Alabama. He bragged that he had told his wife to do all the dishes and clean the house. He said that it took her a couple of days, but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away.
The second man had married a woman from So. Carolina. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. He told the men that the first day he didnt see any results, but by the next day it was better, and on the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done, and he had a huge dinner on the table.
The third man had married a Massachusetts girl. He boasted that he told her his house was to be cleaned, dishes washed, the cooking done and laundry folded. And this was all her responsibility. He said the first day he didnt see anything and the second day he didnt see anything but by the third day some of the swelling had gone down so he could see a little out of his left eye.
Loneliness is all in the mind. one can be in the middle of a crowd and still feel lonely.
It depends on the person's mood. If one is feeling joyful, one can be on his own and still not feel lonely, but this also is valid for the other way round.
As gporg has said, one has to keep busy so as not have the time to think about it.
SICKNESS We will no longer accept your doctors' statements as proof. We believe if you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to work.
LEAVE OF ABSENCE FOR SURGERY We are no longer allowing this practice. As long as you are employed here, you will need all of whatever you have and should not consider having anything removed. We hired you as you are, and to have anything removed would certainly make you less than we bargained for. Anyone having operations will be FIRED immediately.
PREGNANCY In the event of extreme pregnancy, you will be allowed to go to the first aid room when the pains are FIVE MINUTES apart. If it is false labor, you will have to take an hour's leave without pay.
DEATH This will be accepted as an excuse, BUT we would like two weeks notice, as we feel it is your duty to teach someone your job prior to . . . or after death.
This new benefit program started yesterday. The Management
The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer, who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket, went in to try out for the job.
"Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Gomer, what is 1 and 1?"
"11" he replied.
The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but he's right. What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?"
"Today and tomorrow."
The sheriff was again surprised that Gomer supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself.
"Now Gomer, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?"
Gomer looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know."
"Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?"
So, Gomer wandered over to the barbershop where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. Gomer was exultant. "It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"
p_seg Forum Posts (4,497)
Lisa!!
RE: Newbie
Hi and welcome to te forums!!