However, one does need money in order to survive. And they need a little extra in order to enjoy at least some of what life has to offer.
Would your SSI check put food on the table, pay the mortgage, utilities, health insurance for two, etc.? Do you expect a woman to make up in income the amount you lack? (When I say "you," bear in mind I'm also speaking in a general sense to anyone who may find themselves in the same situation.)
Do you take into consideration the fact that, with your amputatation, that might leave an able-bodied spouse left to do physical work you may not be capable of doing? I have a bad back and I still have to take care of everything around my house. And that is something I have no business doing -- lifting heavy things, running the tiller or the weedeater on a steep hill, etc. Right now, I do "okay" with it, but I'll be lucky to be able to walk before it's all over with, if I keep it up much longer.
And speaking strictly for myself, I would personally find it very hard to fall in love with someone who has serious health problems. I know there are no guarantees with anyone regarding health, but I'd worry constantly about whether or not I was going to lose him "any day."
The nature of my work, as a freelancer, is such that I sometimes make darn good money and other times hardly anything. Until I build up my clientele base, that's just the way it is. But...I think that there's an attached monetary value in doing other things other than contributing money that make up for the lack of it in the long run.
Like housework, yardwork, running errands, shopping, etc., etc. If my spouse/S.O. had to pay for all of that by himself, he'd be shelling out a pretty penny.
Soo..bottom line is the importance of income may mean the difference between having a roof over your head and being out on the street.
I think that's why so many people "quit" over and over again. They say they've had enough, they make the decision to stop...and they might ...for a day or two, a week, a month, whatever...but they don't have a backup plan.
Or...they simply substitute one bad habit for another..such as relying on tranquilizers to beat the symptoms of withdrawal. And, though I'm not totally against that, I only see it as a temporary fix, not a solution to the problem.
I have had panic disorder for most of my life and I refuse to take xanax or SSRIs or anything of the sort because I don't want to have to live with a chemical crutch. I drank ...sometimes a lot...to help deal with it. Problem is...it's a vicious cycle. The alcohol, as a depressant, does indeed help with the panic symptoms, but it also causes them.
Soo...I still have a screwed up adrenal/parasympathetic nervous system but I employ other, healthier methods to deal with it. That, in large part, is "nutritional therapy." Admittedly, I'm not as good with it as I should be...I do drink colas (should stay FAR away from those, both because of the sugar and the caffeine) and I don't eat exactly as I should.
But I haven't had a full-blown panic attack since shortly after I quit drinking and I know that the vitamins and diet and exercise has contributed to that in a big way.
I agree to an extent...but the reason you want to drink is in large part because of the physical (and in turn physiological) addiction.
Your organic brain chemistry is altered which, in turn, alters your perception that you think you need it. The reason you want it is because you think you need to have it...as well as simple force of habit, social pressure, etc.
But...
I think a HUGE part of it is what we ingest...if you change your chemistry back to a healthy state, you're not going to want it as much as if you:
a) continued to drink (obviously)
or
b) quit drinking but tried to do it without taking advantage of the help that nutritional therapy offers.
Not saying that nutritional therapy will keep a person from drinking. That is a matter of choice, of course.
But because of the physical components of alcoholism, nutritional therapy is an excellent way to detox, which is the thread subject, and, by so doing, it would in turn make getting through withdrawal symptoms a lot easier.
Not to mention, it's just good for you to maintain a healthy diet. This is not only true for alcoholics, but look at the incidences of diabetes and hypoglycemia, obesity and related disorders.
Being an alcoholic is not a "character flaw," anymore than being a glutton is. It's not a sign of "weakness." The addiction to the sugar, as well as its effect on your body in other ways, is what being an "alcoholic" is all about; it's what makes it a DISEASE, which is a pathological issue. The *disease* is not the lack of willpower; that's another issue all together.
It stands to reason that if you alter your brain chemistry by changing your diet, particularly elimimating the sugar (and that of course includes the alcohol) that that is a huge step toward real "recovery."
Hence the answer to your question, which was, "How did you detox?" not "How did you stop drinking?"
Girlfriend, AFAIC, this is a no-brainer. You are currently in a job you hate. You love doing legal work, if I recall. So you weren't his first choice. So what? This is business; this isn't him picking another woman over you as his girlfriend or anything. I mean, if you decline the offer based on that fact, it's not going to hurt anyone but you. Paralegals are a dime a dozen, you know, so it's not like he won't be able to find someone else...even if they're not as good as you are! Did you negotiate salary yet? Don't be afraid to ask for what you want; he definitely wants YOU!!!
Overcoming alcoholism does have a psychological component, of course, but it's not a matter of overcoming a "character flaw" or a "weakness." Alcohol alters one's brain chemistry. It wreaks havoc with the manner in which glucose is processed in the bloodstream.
While programs such as AA do help with motivation, perhaps, it is addressing the problem with nutritional therapy that is key to overcoming alcoholism. It has little to do with "willpower," comparatively speaking.
An excerpt (paraphrased) from one of the many websites on the subject:
"The cornerstone of the Nutritional approach is to reduce the body’s dependence on simple carbohydrates that, like alcohol, convert quickly to sugar in the bloodstream: white bread, pasta, rice, and many baked goods. Relying on such refined carbs, nutritional advocates say, promotes the same blood sugar highs and lows that alcohol does, which can stoke the desire to drink.
What’s more, alcoholics often respond to the steady infusion of sugar into their bodies by overproducing insulin, which then removes dangerously high amounts of sugar from the blood. Plummeting blood sugar, known as hypoglycemia, can lead to anxiety, irritability, and cravings—anything to get sugar, or, in this case, alcohol, back in the bloodstream.
Nutritional treatment aims to restore the body’s natural supply of these chemicals. But everyone’s metabolism is different, so the approach must be highly customized. Gant, for instance, uses blood tests to determine if a patient is primarily deficient in serotonin, dopamine, GABA, or endorphins.
Another key element of the recovery diet is fat, which many experts contend has been given an undeserved bad name. Beasley is a fan of olive oil, while Ross even touts butter and other foods containing saturated fat. Omega-3 fatty acids, found in fish like salmon and sardines are also favored. Fats are burned steadily over long periods of time, so they help keep blood sugar levels stable. And omega-3s are thought to boost levels of dopamine in the brain.
The amino acid glutamine is thought to be crucial for quelling cravings during alcohol withdrawal. Key neurotransmitter boosters include DLPA, which jump-starts endorphin production, and tyrosine, a mood-lifter. And most programs feature 5-HTP or prescription tryptophan, which help the body make serotonin. (See “The Recovery Diet,” page 80, for more details.)
What does all this nutritional advice look like on a plate? A typical day would almost certainly start with eggs, perhaps in the form of a vegetable-rich omelet. Lunch and dinner are usually built around fish or chicken paired with vegetables, with some nuts and beans thrown in for good measure.
I quit cold turkey after 30+ years. Didn't go to AA or any other support group. Didn't substitute Xanax or any other depresssant for the alcohol. I think that's a wrong approach. And AA may be for some people, but not for me.
What I did was to take vitamins, especially Niacinamide. Cut way back on sugar. Drink lots of water. Exercise. While my body was getting used to not having alcohol (or nicotine, because I quit smoking the same day), the symptoms were rough (heart palps, etc.). But in about two to three months I got over it.
I think oftentimes people convince themselves that it's harder to do than it is. It's "uncomfortable," sure, but it's not insurmountable.
Of course, I'm not talking about someone who is an alcoholic to the point that he or she would have DTs if they quit. That requires professional medical help.
My interpretation is that love is the reason for existence. It is the core component of our souls. It is the quest for it, the being in it, the loss of it, the yearning, the passion, the sweetness, as well as the sorrow, the anger, the grief. It is precisely WHY we were created, to experience all aspects of the process of love, loving and having loved. Jesus was born into this world as a perfect example of love. Human beings were created to try (admittedly we do a pretty sad job of it a lot of times) to follow His example.
The expression in his eyes, especially when he's looking at me with passion in them. Enough to make you go all ...stupid.
His hands ...both the way they look and feel. Most men have such strong, warm, SOOTHING hands! I love it when a man puts his hands on me. (Well, not just any man, mind you. LOL)
His smile.
His muscular legs! But "just right," not body-builder stuff.
Yes, I vowed to do that; didn't always work. Didn't happen too often, though.
2. Vow to keep your romance going even when you're not feeling romantic.
That's an ingrained thing, I think. I'm a romantic person, so it's just always there.
3. Vow to be honest.
Again, I AM honest; it's not something I have to "vow" to do.
4. Vow to take care of yourself.
Well...admittedly I didn't do that very well. Drank and smoked. But ...now I am!
5. Vow to stay faithful even when tempted.
Not an issue. I don't get tempted while in a relationship. Or...if/when I do..that's a sign to move on because there's something seriously wrong with the relationship.
6. Vow to cultivate intimacy.
Well, slap my pig and call me Farmer! I'm all about intimacy and communication.
I'm not thin; I'm of healthy weight, but I don't get anywhere near the exercise I should. Mainly I just don't eat much at all. I lost a considerable amount of weight just by cutting down on how much I eat. Also...and this is a HUGE factor...cutting sugar out of your diet makes a WORLD of difference in losing weight. Especially sodas. Of course, I'm saying this while the Coke on my desk is giving me dirty looks.
Integraverence Forum Posts (1,007)
RE: Importance of Income
No, it does not.However, one does need money in order to survive. And they need a little extra in order to enjoy at least some of what life has to offer.
Would your SSI check put food on the table, pay the mortgage, utilities, health insurance for two, etc.? Do you expect a woman to make up in income the amount you lack? (When I say "you," bear in mind I'm also speaking in a general sense to anyone who may find themselves in the same situation.)
Do you take into consideration the fact that, with your amputatation, that might leave an able-bodied spouse left to do physical work you may not be capable of doing? I have a bad back and I still have to take care of everything around my house. And that is something I have no business doing -- lifting heavy things, running the tiller or the weedeater on a steep hill, etc. Right now, I do "okay" with it, but I'll be lucky to be able to walk before it's all over with, if I keep it up much longer.
And speaking strictly for myself, I would personally find it very hard to fall in love with someone who has serious health problems. I know there are no guarantees with anyone regarding health, but I'd worry constantly about whether or not I was going to lose him "any day."
The nature of my work, as a freelancer, is such that I sometimes make darn good money and other times hardly anything. Until I build up my clientele base, that's just the way it is. But...I think that there's an attached monetary value in doing other things other than contributing money that make up for the lack of it in the long run.
Like housework, yardwork, running errands, shopping, etc., etc. If my spouse/S.O. had to pay for all of that by himself, he'd be shelling out a pretty penny.
Soo..bottom line is the importance of income may mean the difference between having a roof over your head and being out on the street.