diggadavo Forum Posts (355)

RE: Australian Men

Working on that

Ms T likes chicken wings and mine are world famous

RE: Australian Men

I hate competition

RE: Five Words

Bet you bloody well did

RE: Australian Men

We haven't met in person yet but we've known each other for over 2 yrs. Lots of emails and phone calls etc.

RE: Cats Aussie & NZ style

I'll do that and you won't have to say "oh hello you"

RE: Five Words

And where would you go?

RE: Australian Men

Send me an email to my email address in the morning when you're free and I'll call. I don't know how to change anything on here hon and didn't know I had a criteria thing happening.

Good night, sweet dreams & sleep tight.

RE: Five Words

Woo Hoo Molly........You betcha

RE: Five Words

I'm here cobba digga mate

RE: Australian Men

I'll give you a call later on.........email me when you're free please hon

RE: Five Words

You look fine as you??????????????

RE: Five Words

Start with down town Hexham

RE: Cats Aussie & NZ style

I've got a feral here that's trying to adopt me.......I'll try and get pics of the puss

RE: What are you listening to at the mo?

6.30am.....................It's SKIPPY time

RE: What are you listening to at the mo?

The voices in my head

RE: Five Words

I do everything in circles

RE: Five Words

I've got two left feet

RE: Five Words

Doesn't mean I'm gay though

RE: Friday Funnies

Three Mr. L... Are you Tasmanian

RE: Friday Funnies

To be able to put a smile on a face is all a man could ask for

Thanks Merri

RE: Five Words

Just went out and bought

RE: Five Words

That was only four words

RE: Five Words

I'll model if it turns...................

RE: Friday Funnies

A young blonde woman in Sydney was so depressed that she decided to end her life by
throwing herself from the Harbour Bridge. She went down to the bridge and was about
to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the
edge of the bridge, crying.
He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much to live for. I'm off to Europe
in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care
of you and bring you food every day." Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her
shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy."
The girl nodded yes. After all, what did she have to lose? Perhaps a fresh start in
Europe would give her life new meaning.
That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on,
every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made
passionate love until dawn. Three weeks later, during a
routine inspection, she was discovered by the captain. "What are you doing here?" the
captain asked.
"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors, who's stowed me away "she explained
"I get food and free passage to Europe, and he's screwing me."
"He certainly is," the captain said, "this is the Manly Ferry."

RE: Friday Funnies

Joe and John were identical twins. Joe owned an old dilapidated boat and kept pretty much to himself. One day he rented out his boat to a group of out-of-staters who sank it.

Joe spent all day trying to salvage as much stuff as he could and was out of touch all that day and most of the evening.

Unbeknownst to him, his brother John's wife died suddenly.

When he got back on shore he went into town to pick up a few things at the grocery store. A kind old woman there mistook him for john and said: "I'm so sorry for your loss. You must feel terrible."
Joe, thinking she was talking about his boat said:

"Hell no! Fact is I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the beginning. Her bottom was all shrivelled up and she smelled like old dead fish.
She was always holding water. She had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy.

I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to those four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good and smelled bad. But they wanted her anyway.

The damn fools tried to get in her all at one time and she split right Up the middle......."

The old woman fainted.

RE: Friday Funnies

It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started.

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.
"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"

RE: Friday Funnies

HAPPY NEW YEAR Mr.L

RE: Friday Funnies

Little Johnny and Susie Smith are only 10 years old, but they just know
that they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married.
So Johnny goes to Susie's father to ask him for her hand.

Johnny bravely walks up to him and says "Mr. Smith, Me and Susie are in
love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."

Thinking that this was the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, "Well Johnny,
you are only 10. Where will you two live?" So without even taking a moment
to think about it, Johnny replies "In Susie's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely."

Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin,
"Okay then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll
need to support Susie." So again Johnny instantly replies, "Our allowance.
Susie makes 5 bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60
bucks a month. That should do us just fine."

By this time Mr. Smith is a little shocked that Johnny has put so much
thought into this. So, he thinks for a moment trying to come up with
something that Johnny won't have an answer to. After a second, Mr. Smith
says, "Well Johnny, it seems like you have got everything all figured out.
I just have one more question for you. What will you do if the two of you
should have little ones of your own?"

Johnny just shrugs his shoulders and says
"Well, I have to admit, we've been lucky so far."

RE: Friday Funnies

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

RE: Friday Funnies

A big-city California lawyer went duck hunting in rural Texas. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.

As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."

The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."

The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the U.S. and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things in Texas. We settle small disagreements like this with the Texas Three-Kick-Rule."

The lawyer asked, What is the Texas Three-Kick-Rule?."

The farmer replied, "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up."

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the city feller. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick nearly wiped the man's nose off his face. The barrister was flat on this belly when the farmer's third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, "OK, you old coot! now, it's my turn."

The old farmer smiled and said, "No I give up, you can have the duck.