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RE: Ambivalence: Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay

ooops..this was for Grammargirl

RE: Ambivalence: Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay

Ahhhh..the other side of the coin! As painful as it must have been to post this it is refreshing to see your side. You're relationship past or present is really none of our business and in the end I hope you find happiness in whatever path you choose.

RE: Ambivalence: Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay

You're absolutely right when you say only making a decision can resolve ambivalence. Do I love or hate? Do I feel joy or sadness? But the decision of "do I stay or do I leave?" I feel does not fall under ambivalence. This is a matter of not wanting to make a decision and living with the consequences. If you stay you may get hurt and if you leave you may get hurt but which hurt is the worst?? Which hurt can you live with?

RE: Ambivalence: Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay

Hey Jeff!
As soon as people hear the word neurosis it gets their back up! lol Neurosis is actually quite common place! I mean, aren't we all a little neurotic with certain things?!?!?
Ahhhh FEAR (see how I used it in capitals heehee). Yep it can be a huge inhibitor. Let's look at fear though, I mean some are realistic and some aren't (which borders more on phobia, but more on that later ). In certain situations a person needs to really sit back and analyse their fears. Say a person was to confront their fear of singing in front of a group? What are they afraid of? What's the worst thing that could happen? How can the "worse thing" affect you in the long run? What are you missing out by being overcome with this fear? What are the pros and cons of this fear? In the end, the answer comes down to a feeling of being uncomfortable for a period of time.
Now lets deal with the fear of commitment which is more aligned to this thread. What are the fears? Relocation? No guarantee of "forever"? Missing out on the potential of someone better? Are those fears worth losing what could be potentially a good partner?? What's the worse thing that could happen if those fears came true? So you start over? You have heartache? Are those things worth experiencing? Is this a price too high to pay? So many variables that can only be answered by the person involved. In the end a person can either face their fears and grab hold of life or sit on the sidelines and one day think "What if?"

RE: Unforgettable ! ! !

Maybe I'm not that overly sensitive but I was mildly irritated that her reaction to the water throwing would be to cry. I imagine it was never his intent to make her that upset and he probably misjudged what her reaction would be. BTW gemeh...

RE: The outdoors

I'm not sure if I agree with you. I come across many profiles that describe a great night for the person being a cozy night inside with candles, fireplace and wine. It takes all kinds to make the world go around and some of these kinds are outdoorsy and some are indoorsy ( yeah that doesn't sound right)and sometimes, these opposites actually can make a good match.

RE: Unforgettable ! ! !

That was so amazing!! One of the most romantic things I ever seen! Maybe it's the pms but I cried when I saw the look on her face when she saw him

RE: Ambivalence: Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay

After being in a relationship for a period of time and your partner is still being ambivalent towards commitment then I would conclude that it was symptomatic of some type of neurosis. Neurosis, in "lamens terms" is and "invisible injury" which causes the resulting condition. This type of behavior could be due to trauma from past relationships, a fear of failure or simple a fear of change.

RE: Plz give me tips for seeking a dating woman.

Hey summer! Well I'll be darned. I did not know that taking ones pic was against the Muslim belief system...now it all makes sense!!!

RE: Plz give me tips for seeking a dating woman.

Ok, this is just and observation so no one start screaming at me because I mean no disrespect buuuuut...why do most of the male pics from Pakistan look like mug shots??

RE: Should Emoticons Be Banned?

I think the OP should start using more emoticons because every time he opens his mouth, his ignorance shows

RE: Should Emoticons Be Banned?

Wow just wow. Who are you to judge who is adequate and who is not?? Emoticons help add some humor to peoples comments and also help those who do not have a firm grasp of the English language communicate. How lonely it must be for you up there on your pedestal.

RE: Is There A Doctor In The House?

oh dear..apparently someone peed in his cornflakes

RE: Can somebody please explain this?

True but the girl in the pic doesn't exactly look 100% satisfied. Maybe she got more than she bargained for when hiring him
Imagine 10 years from now "Mommy, who's my daddy?"
"Oh sweety, he's a gigilo, and not a good one at that"

RE: What language of love do you speak?

Sooo..I took the test and it was very close

30% quality time
23% words of affirmation
0% gifts
23% acts of service
23% physical touch

Lol what I found funny is that in the summary of the results it was said that I may have been a nag and drove my spouse away!!! Which is not the case. Though I love it when Bill will do things for me such as cut the grass, take out the garbage I don't demand he does and will happily do it myself. I look at my relationship as "What one thing can I do today that will make my lovers life better". With that being said, him doing little things without being asked thrills me. To me it shows he cares and wants to do things that will make my life better or easier. I also work hard to do the same for him. The simplest things can make each other happy. For example, he mentioned that he likes honey mustard, I on the other hand do not so I never buy it. Last grocery day I bought him honey mustard and when he saw it on the dinner table was tickled pink. Seeing him so happy over something so simple and vice a versa is what makes us work. I think each relationship needs all of these catagories (maybe not the gift part) in order to be successful. Affirming how you feel, listening to each other, supporting each other, reassuring each other of how you feel both verbally and physically are all important.

RE: for Sven.....life is unfair.

There are no words. I cried and held my son when I read this. Your friend is being an amazing mother. Being calm and soothing any fears her son may have and I imagine she's savoring every moment she gets to hold him. She's going to need all your support after this wee brave soul passes and I know you'll have the strength to hold her when she crumbles. My thoughts and prayers to all of you.

RE: What should a BF/GF do when his partner is a Big lier ! and cant Gave up lying on several Request?

No one said you stop loving in an hour. I understand you have dreams with this woman but how real and attainable are these dreams? If you choose to end the relationship, of course it will take time to get over her but if you choose to stay with her, then you know what you're getting yourself into.

RE: What should a BF/GF do when his partner is a Big lier ! and cant Gave up lying on several Request?

Who wants to be with a habitual liar?? You say you fell in love and it's hard to leave and I can understand that but isn't trust a huge part of being in love?? How can you completely love him/her if you can't trust them?? Sometimes it's best to walk away and mend then to stay. JMO

RE: Standards

Ohhhhh...I see Well who said anything about wearing knickers..

RE: Standards

And which standards would you like us to drop?? Looks, money,social skills??

RE: What cheek

RE: What cheek

Oh my I love ya Boban!!

RE: What cheek

I had one guy tell me he looked like a cross between Keving Bacon and Brad Pitt..apparently he was a cross of all the bad bits...

RE: What cheek

I agree with what you wrote about not getting involved with men with kids because if they are good parents, they should put their kids first. This is sometimes hard for another person without kids to accept and they do feel neglected. The only concern I have is the not giving people second chances, everyone deserves a second chance, if you messed up wouldn't you want one??

RE: What cheek

Very true. People who boast about being attractive...usually aren't...

RE: What cheek

Wow..you really have some stiff rules when it comes to dating. Give the guy a break, perhaps he really was busy, or had some personal issues such as family obligations, or maybe he had cold feet and has now reconsidered??? Every time I read one of your forums I just feel sadder and sadder for you. You cut people off for such simple humanistic reasons and are unforgiving. You need to relax and go with the flow some more. Kiss some frogs and take some chances. Forgive people for being human and for making simple mistakes. Do you want to reflect on your life and think "What if????"

Dr. Death dies at 83

After 2 weeks in a hospital, Dr. Jack Kovorkian dies at the age of 83 due to heart and kidney failure. Love him or hate him, I personally feel he helped a lot of people stop their suffering.

RE: Have u ever wanted to take a Revenge on ur Ex?

Holy crap!! I think his re-action is a little extreme!! I would gather he is mentally imbalanced.

RE: Have u ever wanted to take a Revenge on ur Ex?

With most of my ex's no I never wanted to get revenge. Buuuut..this one time...a guy tried to get physical with me..so I took his new, expensive power drill that I bought him, took the cover off, removed a few wires that looked important out, and put it back together... I went to bed that night with a smile.

RE: America the Free????

We will agree to disagree. In my eyes, life is too short to be arresting people for dancing. Laws are set to keep us safe and some laws are ridiculous. No harm was done and the extreme reaction that their dancing was given speaks volumes.