I'm not in florida..and certainly not a match for our young bachelor here...Just wanted to say that while I have absolutely nothing against her ...in fact am quite fond of several of her posts...I do feel that Euro was a little out of line with her response to the original post of this thread....he was very honest and upfront with who he was and what he was looking for...and the thread title clearly indicated the type of person he was inviting into this thread (I just read everything that is remotely interesting)..while he may not be Euro's cup of tea, I am quite certain that he would knock the socks off of someone...
I don't think it was fair to be as rudely critical as you were, Euro...it's not like he messaged you personally and asked you to fit the bill....he didn't brag in his post...never said he thought he was all that...I don't know what brushed you the wrong way about his post, but I really don't understand why you would respond so harshly...from what I know of you so far (from forums), I would have thought you to be a caring and kind person.
It can be really difficult sometimes to put yourself out there like he just did...and it certainly doesn't help when the first response he gets is slamming him into the ground (for no apparent reason?)
Hmm...all sorts of answers to this one, really...well, very boringly..(not a word, I know)...I would have to say my RN liscence these days...it may only be a piece of paper, but it's my ticket to a very decent wage for the rest of my life (and a means of providing my daughter with quality of life and future)...so I have to give it it's dues...it was hard as hell to obtain and represents 4 years of ballbusting effort on my part (for the better good).
I have a 30lb cat as well...except instead of being the "cat from hell" he's more like a doorstop or something...thinks he's a dog...comes when he's called...mooches from you no matter what you're eating (he LOVES McDonald's fries...weirdo)...other than that he's pretty much a piece of the furniture...we also have a cockatiel who is about 10 or 11 years old (I adopted her with an estimated age of about 3 or 4)...she talks a bit..whistles a lot...and likes to be cuddled and pet more than the cat...
We have a bit of a backwards household that way...
No kidding! These same guys will tell me that they "love" their wives, and consider themselves to be in a perfectly happy marriage...not on the rocks...no problems...no impending divorce....and yet they still are on the hunt for affairs? I pray every single day that when I do get married (again) that I won't fall for one of those guys....there are just so MANY of them! It's so hard to put your faith in anyone anymore...the odds are definitely stacked against us as far as finding a man who will remain loyal and monogamous....do they even exist?
Good thread! I'd like to know the answer to this one myself! I can't tell you how many times I have come across a guy...(at work...bars....the beach...grocery stores...etc etc)...we've fired up a conversation...lots of sparks flying...lots of the flirty-flirty going on (from BOTH sides...I usually do not start flirting until I am already receiving it from the other side...just in case)...even as far as the guy ASKING ME OUT...then somewhere along the line he confesses that he's married...kids...cottage...the works!! What the heck IS up with that? Are they just trying to see if they've "still got it"? or what?? Why do you get our hopes up and waste our time like that?
So many of them act like it's a non-issue as well! Like "well, yeah...I'm married...but that's ok...what difference does that make?" !!!! What difference does that make?? That's OK??? Jeesh...in those circumstances I am GLAD to hear that they are married...just shows me the type of person that they really are...and I am GLAD to have been given the perfect reason to stay away.
For me...first date is best to be FUN with the tease and flavour of romantic spiked in....perhaps intensifying a bit as you're ready to part...leaving each wanting more...
I don't know what I was thinking...but above..."they will tell you they don't think it's "worth it"" should have been "they will tel you they don't think it's WORKING"
I have noticed that a few have already responded to your question, but as you directed it towards myself, I will also answer...
First..."clinical depression" and "bipolar" or "manic depression" are entirely different as far as how they are treated. So...if you are bipolar...and the doc treats you with a traditional class of antidepressant (ie SSRIs, tricyclic etc etc) then it is like giving heavy pain medication to one who is not in pain. You will experience all of the side effects from the medication (which are plentiful, believe me) PLUS the added effect that the chemical components have on your brain--in this case, CAUSING it's own type of upset (as it is meant to TREAT an existing unbalance causing "depression")...
This would most certainly effect your moods/emotions/attitudes etc...and could worsen an existing (but different) condition.
There are a couple of problems with this...first...many people ARE misdiagnosed...and do not recognize that it is the medication that is worsening their condition...second... someone who is ACTUALLY "clinically depressed" can go through phases that mimic "manic" episodes...and then spiral right back down into the pits of despair...common to ALL of these conditions can be drastic mood swings...going from one extreme to the next. In this case, the best way to get a true diagnosis is to start ruling out symptoms that ARE unique to each condition (that you may or may not have)...
Fact is, it is utterly frustrating for someone afflicted with ANY of these to go through the gammet of medications/classes while trying to find the one that will help them.. Most people give up..stop taking them as prescribed...and of course this helps nothing, either.
My advice is to keep a journal...containing in it key points of how your mood was each day (doesn't have to be narrative...can be just "the facts"). For example: "Cried all morning...mood brightened this afternoon...did 2+hours of cardio and called everyone I knew!"...also, in this journal I would keep track of every medication that you take...when you take it..and if you are noticing either any therapeutic effects or side effects..often the effects of these types of medications come on so subtly that the patient doesn't even realize it...they'll tell you three months later that they don't think it's worth it, meanwhile they are like an ENTIRELY different person compared to when they came in....something they could see for themselves if they had a ledger/journal from which to make comparisons.
Find a good doc/psychiatrist...and keep him well informed of all this information you're keeping...the best (and quickest ) way to find the right diagnosis and treatment for you is to work as a team with your doc...he/she has to figure it out by the same process of elimination...
Incidentally...perhaps a mood stablizer would help in your case...a low dose of "epival" (or valproic acid in it's liquid form) would likely not cause too many side effects, but could begin to set you on a bit more of an even keel...you could ask your doc about it...the two of you should be able to come up with the winning combo soon...
That's the beauty of forums, John...if you're ballsy enough to post your BS here...no one HAS to be speaking to me...you get my opinion whether you've asked for it or not! For that matter....no one asked YOU what you were thinking about, and yet you are still free to post it.
You're right in thinking that you wouldn't want to get into an intellectual/grammatical debate with me however. As bad as you look here, believe me when I tell you it could get MUCH worse.
Very good, Mike! But you've misused the term "synapse"...a "synapse" is the actual healthy connection point between two neurons...not something that occurs due to a trauma.
Otherwise you were pretty accurate (in so many words!)
You really would do so much better if you did take your meds consistantly....your life though....best of luck!!
Also..."depression" is not something you can simply will yourself not to have--any more than cancer is. "I didn't allow myself to become depressed" is simply not accurate. More likely it was "I WAS depressed but refused to admit it".
Mike if you're clinically depressed or bipolar, your condition is physical more than mental...it's not the problems that you have a hard time with...the chemicals in your brain are all out of whack to the point that your actual (healthy) self is non-functioning... you will be dealing with bouts of depression and cycles of bipolarism for the rest of your life, keeping you from ever being happy if you do not take this medication you've been prescribed. It is not a "happy" pill or a "take the world's problems away" pill...it is an engineered neurotransmitter stimulator/inhibitor that re-balances the upset of chemicals in your head.
The only reason that you wouldn't need this med is if you are not really depressed or bipolar...and that is not for me to decide...
Best of luck to you...but make no mistake...if you DO have these conditions....you WILL need these medications to have any kind of quality of life/happiness.
While you are probably right on the mark about your own experience (if you WERE bipolar you simply could not function on a regular basis without medication), there is in fact such a thing as true bipolarism...it's nothing that you could imagine however...and it is very close to actual "insanity" (though we don't use that term any more)..bipolars often become actually psychotic at various stages in their cycling...
Sounds like your doctor is a keeper, btw....there aren't a whole lot of them like that around anymore...
Incidentally you are also getting the wrong message out of what I have written...I have posted many times on depression (there is a thread specific to it somewhere back a bit)...and I am nothing if not empathetic towards sufferers....I'm just sick of the doctors who hold such a power as to "diagnose" people...THEY are the ones who need to learn a little empathy...so quick to do whatever gets them off the freaking hook...
Don't take my messages out of context...read what I am really trying to say...and it's not that so and so is this and that.
Beauty...there was never any malintent with any of my responses...she was taking what I was writing the wrong way...and I didn't want her to...I was simply trying to shed a bit of light...believe me when I tell you that I am not one to make light of ANY type of mental illness..
As for your question...I have been dealing with clinical depression since my early teens...and both my mother and my grandmother dealt with it before I did...so yes...I have a very intimite point of view with that particular condition...
I was only trying to impart a more generalized type of info...not specific to me or her or you...but to the actual illnesses themselves...depression IS Highly underdiagnosed...most people doNOT seek help....and other conditions such as bipolarism ARE used as bandaids to what the patient wants to hear...
I never implied whether anyone in this thread fell into one category or another...only that the majority fell into the "overdiagnosed" category...
and you are clearly very defensive still...I never professed to know what YOU felt like...I would be a fool to do so...I am speaking on the lines of the original topic...the actual illnesses...the doctors that diagnose them...and the majority of people who don't actually HAVE them...
Don't take things so personally...yahoo and bravo for you that you had the balls to admit you were depressed...the VAST AND HUGE majority never even talk about it...Perhaps it is you who is assuming..(that because you have had some personal experience with a few elements of mental illness that you then must know all there is to know on the subject)...
Repeat this matra over and over:
Q- T I P
Quit Taking It Personally
Night! (and thanks, AkoPh btw...I just saw that post now!!)
You certainly do have your own personal perspective to contribute...and many people do develop coping issues after dealing with something as tragic as you've described...as far as brushing against depression/mental illness...you most certainly seem to have...but this is not the "been there done that" experience that I am trying to describe...I'm speaking more to the actual illnesses in their entirety...what patientS experience...the nitty gritty of it, so to speak...not so much with the selective symptoms that you may have experienced...
and I really was mostly answering the original post...and talking about bipolarism...
Incidentally....what you're describing is closer to post-traumatic stress disorder than it is to any type of true depression...(though you may have become depressed in the process...making you dually diagnosed)...they are most successfully treated independently, as different classes of drugs are most often used--entirely specific to each illness/condition
well, hon...let me assure you that I know far more about mental illnesses in general (and each one specifically) than I ever wanted to...I have seen the gammet of severities in each case...and I see them every day...am inside their heads...trying to sift through the madness...
You may have some experience with a couple family members, but bipolarism (in it's true form--not a bandaid diagnosis) has many faces and levels of severity...both individual to each patient and fluxuating within that patient..you really can't have a grasp on what bipolarism really is until you have seen every one of it's faces.
Sadly, the families often don't know any better...I mean...if you see a family member suffering in their life...and they come home from the doc's saying "well, he says I'm bipolar"...few would doubt or challenge this, as it seems to answer so many questions...just hearing a diagnosis of any kind is often a huge relief to patients and family...(whether it is factual or not)...the questions are answered...you have something to work with...a diagnosis is tangible...a mass of complaints and symptoms are not...they're vague and scary...
A diagnosis brings comfort and closure to most...even if it is a bad one...
Strangely enough..the opposite is true for depression...see what a stigma can do? ADD/ADHD, bipolarism, fibromyalgia/polymyalgia...all OVER diagnosed...everyone and their dog has at least one of those (or at least they believe they do)...but depression....SO many people go through their lives (needlessly btw) in utter clinical depression...and either do not seek help or reject the diagnosis altogether..scared of the label or just not educated enough about it to know it could be so much better...this a highly UNdiagnosed condition with far more tragic and lethal implications than any of the others...
Hmm...
Sorry....just got me thinking about diagnoses after the last post...
I'm going to see how many people would seriously be interested...if there's enough...I will start looking into what sorts of deals we could get...and to which destinations...obviously everyone would have a slightly different fare depending on their starting point...but I bet I could get a killer corporate deal (at least there's SOME perks to working for the govt...not many...but a precious few)
I'm going to start a thread on the topic...more specific than this one...if any of you are into exploring the option..post in the other thread and let me know so I can look into it, okay?
Rainbow...though I understand how you feel, and agree that you should have most certainly come before a number of those other things in the "list"..I don't think that any man would ever come "first" before a woman's kids...or at least he shouldn't...NOTHING comes before mine...NOTHING...
That being said...I also highly value both time spent together as a family as well as time spent alone and set aside for just my spouse and I.....but fact is....when you become a parent, you vow to never let anything come before that child (hopefully...of course this doesn't always happen quite this way)..
Anyhow..just my little chunk of insight as I browsed through this thread...have a great day!
I don't really have a specific "type" when it comes to physical characteristics in a mate, but there has been an obvious pattern so far (coincidence perhaps?) as to what the men that I have dated look like...
First...with the exception of one person (my last boyfriend)...not ONE of my boyfriends was from Canada originally....Portugal...Middle East....stuff like that....so thus far, most of my exes have been relatively short in stature, but with stocky features...broad chest and shoulders...(not like teddy-bear stocky...more like just thickish)..
My last boyfriend (Tyler...ugh) was a guy that I had a crush on from the time I was 13. He was the total opposite of what every other guy I've dated looked like, with the exception of height (he was shorter than I am)..he was a "surfer" kinda guy...blond hair down to his shoulders...crystal blue eyes...he was stocky with broad chest and shoulders too..
So there you have it..
Interestingly enough...I have never dated a very fair-skinned man or a redhead (and as far as the redhead thing goes...don't think I will--just seem to clash personalities..odd, huh?)
My biggest fears all involve the scary world around us and my poor daughter having to be in it....in fact...these fears are SO scary that I dare not even mention anything specific...I wouldn't sleep a wink tonight if I did...
Maybe I should marry a guy on the S.W.A.T team or something...*trying to think of the least vulnerable male on earth*
A_broad_abroad Forum Posts (321)
RE: A Down To Earth Young Guy,Looking For A Good Older Woman in South Florida
Amer SBM....and just why did YOU come into this thread?lolSam