we exploded in a kiss ne'er fore imagined a thrill as this sweet juices ran over our swollen hot skin we writhed round an embrace she pressed me again seemed almost as magic brute strength soon unleashed but beauty fast held me no escape for the beast pressure fast mounting sounds cry from our throat mere flesh now our world past memory remote strange fire erupting cast our senses afright frantic passion consumed once sad hearts now, delight!
a shot o'er the bough brought fear through the night still, I wish you very much the same never realizing the terrible chore the unrealistic claim that we both were to blame no matter what our name and who we chose to shame or why we play the game it always ends the same we're human, expect little more
perspectives pick up the weakness of you now the softness and bruising inside I only try to help 'cause I know the terrible thoughts in your mind only leave you behind and others of your kind friends you may find if they be of likemind must have come from the same vine thus securing that none ever grow
food on the table, but not a bite for me nourishment? huh? what a joke! I feed upon your vice and all you say is good my belly fat with flab from pronouncements that you blab your failed attention for to grab spotlight for diatribe now you'll never hide see your darkness deep inside your heart is black, your mind is merely wood
I saw a girl the other day her eyes had flash her hair was red my hair is gray feel left out of room to play but the blood flows deep breaths occur, as before memorable sweetness in the air now that spring is here a young man's fancy? I suppose that I shall forever recall it to ever live a young man's fancy? I will never live it again for, I'm not a young man it's not that I don't fancy I've found a wonderful lover all of our dreams are coming true day after day after day it's just that, at age 15 one is filled with that rare air a new feeling their being becomes one of exhilarating adventure so new, so encompassing, so alien, so welcome a young man discovers being driven to that love which is all possessing it's suddenly all that matters beautiful part of life when you first discover love why can't we all feel this? day after day after day our whole lives through but tis sad one may only feel that first time the first time but we never forget that feeling we miss it
I recall an incident some years back, when I worked for a weekly newspaper in a small rural community. I was an avid fisherman and my friend, Steve, was a driven, nuts on, muskellunge hunter. Well, anyway, Steve was our lead writer at the rag. He had met a fellow, newly retired, that had settled in our tiny hamlet. Having left the bright lights of scheduled stress back east, this man was now free to spend his days (I'm not exactly what it was that he did through the nights) pursuing pleasures of his interest. His love, talent, hobby, was creating fishing lures. He would craft them in his basement shop. There were all manner of different size and style of artificial fish baits soon available for sale by this master craftsman. He had opened a small shop to sell his wares. Never one to look a new business in the mouth (the lifeblood of small newspapers is to sell advertising), Steve went to interview the new proprietor and photograph some of his various wares. He found that this man would actually forge the metal hooks and accessories himself. As well with the plastic and rubber coatings of whatever. Well, he took the pictures and wrote a story on this man and his fledgling business. The headline read "Master Baiter Sets Up Shop in Town". Now, we peons down at the paper loved it. But, as we were to go to press that week, the publisher stopped by and quickly put a stop to our fun. Drat! Now you tell me? How dry is "Expert Luremaker Open for Business"?
I was born and raised in the suburbs of Baltimore Maryland. My parents were hill people from West Virginia who had come east during World War II to find jobs. They were hired on at Glen L. Martin Aircraft which was later to become Martin-Marietta Corp. I grew up in a single home with about half an acre of land on a white oak lined avenue not far from a grade school. Next door to us lived a somewhat unconventional family (for the times), as they weren't a typical two parents with children scenario. No, there was my friend Tommy, his mother, her friend Mr. Knight, and an older gentleman Mr. Murphy. Well, Mr. Murphy would walk one mile each morning to Loch Raven Boulevard where the bus line ran leading in and out of the city. He would take the bus each day to his factory job downtown and then return late each afternoon or evening. As he returned each night from work, whenever he would come upon one of we children in the neighborhood, he would offer us a stick of chewing gum. Usually juicyfruit or doublemint gum. As his figure would appear up our street, someone would always remark "Here comes good old Mister Murphy." We all were very fond of Mister Murphy as he was so generous and kind to us all. As my parents were from West Virginia, once or twice a year we would travel there for a visit (1950's, early 60's). Once away from Baltimore proper, our journey would mostly take place on winding two lane highways through valleys, up and then down mountains and so on. There were no fast food restaurants and our meals consisted of sandwiches of peanut butter and jelly, or bologna or cheese or somesuch fare either enjoyed in the car or at a roadside picnic table or fountain area of sort. Our bathroom breaks were either at places like this or at gas stations. On one such trip back to Baltimore when I was around age eight, we made a fuel stop at an Esso service station and I went and used their restroom. While inside, I discovered a package of what looked like, I don't know what, in the bottom slot of some kind of dispenser machine. Well, I put the package in my pocket and never mentioned it to anyone. We made our journey home and sometime later (I have no idea what day or when) as I sat on my front porchsteps I opened the package and discovered that they were balloons. So, I began blowing them up and tieing knots in them. As I was enjoying this, along came "good old Mr. Murphy". He told me that my balloons were dirty and that I should throw them into the street. He said that they were bad, dirty, get rid of them. I was puzzled. Huh? But, you know what I did? I threw them into the street. I didn't know why. I just did.
I recall an incident from my very early youth. I was around age four. My family lived on a white oak lined avenue in a suburb of Baltimore, Maryland. The year was 1956. Just up at the top of the hill, five houses beyond my house was Oakleigh Elementary School. On the grounds, aside from the actual school building itself, were four baseball diamonds, a football field, soccer field, two tennis courts, a basketball court, several wooded areas, an old haunted house (not part of the school grounds, but it was there), and a corraled (metal bars) playground. In this playground, of the many apparatti available, was a merry go round, a sliding board, monkey bars, and swings. The playground was brand new, the ground strewn with sand and stringy wood pieces. My two best friends, Paul and Tommy (who were two years older than me) and I would often go to the playground from our homes to play (We lived very close and remember this was 1956). The end of the school jutted out toward the playground. Maybe, fifty feet apart from each other. Oakleigh elementary was a two story structure in which were taught grades 1 thru 6. One day, as my friends and I were playing, two figures appeared in the large picture window on the second floor at the end of the school overlooking the playground. It was a man and a woman. The man was naked and the woman, clothed, appeared to be scrubbing him just below the belly with a brush. (At the time, I didn't realize that that wasn't a brush in her hand). Without alarm, we played and then left for home. As we were heading home, we came upon our neighbor, Mr. Menninger. One of the older boys, I don't recall which (probably both), remarked to him that they had seen a naked man in the school. As it never crossed our minds that there was anything wrong (or mine anyway), we made our way to our homes. Soon after, there was a buzz going about on our street. Folks were outside. Shortly following, a police car went up our road to the school. After a while (I haven't a clue how long), the police car came back down the hill past our homes and disappeared. I saw two people in the back seat of the car as it passed. I was oblivious to the meaning of all the excitement, obviously. Some days later (for some reason), Paul, Tommy, and I, and our parents, had to get dressed up in the middle of a weekday and travel to this big building somewhere. I had never been there. Our parents walked us into the building and we were all seated in this wide hallway on some wooden benches. Well, we never left those benches for the longest time until some man in a suit came out of one of the doors and spoke to our folks. Something about it being all over. Now get this, then another man came over and gave each of we children a brand new crisp one dollar bill and told us "this is for appearing in court". Whatever that meant. I was bewildered by this entire affair.
were only to ask of love it would shower you.... to speak a kind word soon covered over with like.... to need to plead answers dance at your feet.... your eyes a smile soon overwhelmed, spirits glow.... do you love me? I think you know I have always loved you.... I shall forever I could never be without loving you....
She said "I'm really not sure, exactly what you mean." "When you tell me you're not sure of what you say." "We'll fall asleep tonight, but the thoughts won't go away." "I have no idea what you are thinking." "Makes me wonder what you're drinking."
He said "It's really simple what I'm trying to convey." "Don't allow your selfishness to get into the way." "Instead, look outside yourself, if only for a day." "It's about me that I am speaking." "It's about me, for I am leaving."
So once again you're gonna' leave me in a bind Sometimes I wonder if you haven't lost your mind How could you ever think, you're leaving me behind? I'm far behind because of you I've given everything for you
Easy for you to say just what you've sacrificed When we were living large, you never did think twice But now the money's gone, may I give you some advice? I've given everything to you Now my time is up for you
....a common theme, it seems, when ravels come apart ....reality brings, yet again, a broken heart ....you get tired of always making a new start
why can't we tire of being tired? you'd think, one day we'd be inspired
a very close friend taught me how to fight no matter the odds, ne'er concede your right for should you bow down and not show your face you enable a bully to show you your place my friend from far away land was a girl for a great while our hearts were dancing awhirl but soon the dam burst, we drifted apart each other to carry a piece of our heart and now at a distance, I glance from afar forever to carry our love in a jar one day if I'm lucky, might hear me to shout was opened, the lid, our love has won out free from the self imposed shackles we wore away from the prison, had unlocked the door we'll fly once again, as free as a bird to each other's arms, with nary a word
these days, it's hard to find my way the roads now filled with shadow gray beseeching above, this I pray somewhere, somehow, find you one day far too few and far too far are my memories of you can we go back to the beginning? when sweet love was something new we soared high o'er heaven's mountains we filled the air with such a sound we danced and splashed among the fountains we walked ten feet off of the ground a warmness filled our hearts with joy songs were passed between our lips a freedom no one could e'er destroy vibrations joined our fingertips tender glances betwixt our eyes caressive thoughts filled our minds never once was doubt imagined yet we missed the warning signs at first it felt we'd merely stumbled soon dark clouds faded our view 'fore long our lives had fully tumbled til that day when I lost you must crawl from this day 'mong this mire to find the one that I love true were found I beg, come away with me we'll find our paradise anew
and so I dallied about with my jewel fully realizing that I was merely a fool to dare to dream of one so young made little difference, for I was stung
a lithe gentle spirit gave me such start it wasn't venom that filled my heart but pure golden nectar flowed through my veins blinded by beauty, clouding my brain
oh, to hold this living vision of heaven all I could do, not to think it a sin her childlike glory, she welcomed me in beckoning, calling, again and again
I had little caution of what this meant to dance with a bloom of the orient but dance I did, moving about in the throes of passion was made to shout
she brought me so deep into the light forgot where I was, it felt so right we held one another as tight as one can she made me forget I was just an old man
it seems that love knows little of age distances, past, it does not gauge for me, her smile, her touch, it flatters I learned that now is what really matters
cried again last night, I felt so alone damaged spirit recalling memories past thoughts of my parents, long since dead my daughter, who has grown up so fast the mistakes that I made, continue to make friends that I have as well as those I have lost I can see smiling faces and hear their laughter but my best friend eludes me, I can't pay the cost should one give heart and too forfeit their soul? is the price too dangerous, too dear? for pleasure far beyond this world eerily haunting, feeding my fear a new day brings me more questions each night I shed yet more tears I seem only to be digging deeper as I fall further away with the years can a woman's love become shattered? that she could never forgive an old friend has the foundation below become rotted? that the cold and the anger can't end is the saving of face all important? compared to the joy that awaits can we open our hearts, draw ourselves in? is it over, are we too late? I want you, do you still want me? show me a sign should you agree time passes quickly and soon may end my dream, forever, as your best friend
I'm not asking if you love me 'fraid the answer may not please left to dream my heart still open yet my mind shall never ease too much thinking makes me question could you only read my mind? for brutal truth would surely scar me I fear unhappiness to find so I float along in limbo that's what I get for loving you unsure of step, thought, or purpose come on sunshine, see me through til sleep can once again protect me from conscious misery of day where tenders flow our spirits dance painful reality, keep away must I forever heed the warning? is a sad heart not to heal? will I one day welcome morning? find your precious love to feel? it seems so useless to continue has my life just been a waste? today, I'm asking, do you love me? and pray, your kisses I might taste should you be cold on the shoulder with words, confirm my fears no escape for me into the night I'll only find more tears
far to the east, cross an ocean of blue exists there a land, of which I am learning on pale wings, a bird, upon there we flew espied of the ground, my heart filled with yearning
settled in the sixth century of lore and then in the tenth, soon fell under Hungary til the end of the war said to end all the war then absorbed by the czech republic to be
was here, a grand place, enchantment for me shores of the danube, sweet sonnets are sung on new years day, nineteen ninety three independant republic, Slovakia, begun
ending our flight, soon rode a swift beetewk through the talgan forest eluding the cheka for the pogrom was spreading to every known aul we sought not to allow perestroika to catch us
was not for the nebbish to follow our lead through hills of carpathia we made our escape was useless of others to pursue our great steed by nightfall we arrived at the villages' cape
seven coins of koruna was all it would take for koushes of kasha, kielbasa and lokshen fine sevruga and knishes of babka and cake our bellies now filled, we lay down in a glen
we awakened next morn to tunes of a balalaika and yelps of barukhzies were heard all around many fair maidens were performing the trepak as the men stood round clapping and stomping the ground
we met an old feldsher who owned a tchotchke so we ventured inside to spy of it's wares he asked us just how we avoided the purga of soldiers and government agents with snares
we told him we rode a sweet bird of the seeker and here we'll remain for the rest of our days my woman of green eyes fast became a teacher and soon bore a daughter, ourselves born to raise
twas said never to pluck a desert flower that this would be our finest hour then the waters came, washed you away where, oh where, is my blossom today? where can I find her? does anyone know? taken root somewhere, continued to grow? or is she alone, hurt, cold and weary? I cry out her name I'm left here in query I'll do anything to find my love true hurt that I caused, I always shall rue but find her I must and restore her with trust there is no other way to live past today maybe she's sleeping over there as I'm stranded over here with so much sand between us I can't make it much more clear they'll be no time for crying submission demands its' due I change my plea to guilty I'll see you when I die still the winds of change blow on not easy to discover the path that she is traveling on I cannot find my lover
twists and turns of life go on new endings, new beginnings constant some friends never waver a welcome cushion to fall back upon never to be assumed they are just that friends but in our desire for our final, blessed, forever love many of us become sad, hurt as romance misplaces too often it seems failure, loss, confusion, tears too personal we feel alone others around us look different unaware, unaffected, protected, normal, busy happy their consciousness need not traverse to that foreign land, apparently my land a place that I know well not a welcome land, but oft visited too familiar, too painful one day I'll meet another there who, as myself, is only returned to bide to wait and wonder ever to question ourselves seeking answers why do we continue to be held captive here? alone maybe, this is where we must be for, were we not there would be no occasion to at last find the one searching for us as well I pray that my wife is here that I may find her that she may find me together, to escape our prison to arrive at that new land where, finally, only joy is shared between us we will have made our last arrival, anywhere together how strange the feeling the air has never smelled sweeter no song before has had quite this sound so, this is what love has promised it has all been worth it I found you
be on time and be prepared quickly I learned my soul was bared what have I sought, what had I begun when informed when I was to run
of pushy and tushy and rules in verse I sit here and mutter, I snarl, I curse your rantings, they carry on longer than most you're a trifle bit wordy, if not quite verbose
I suppose that I must extrapolate the meaning of that of which you prate allow me to cut to the chase, if you would my love demands all things understood
yet I'm still here to hold your hand walk upon a beach of sand hearts interweaving as we, all the while dreading the end of our miracle mile
time we spend, as fellows we travel unforetold weakness causing unravel
we never heard each other's song denying, we knew it all along
I can see you, but you're not there can you see me? I can hear you, yet no sound fills the air I can feel you, but my grasp is empty want for you is ever constant need of you is never past my senses aswim of your scent passion ever keen of your touch visions of your face your face my mouth waters, my heart races breaths quicken, mind spinning round...and round from one glance one perfect picture my love pulses and throbs, about to explode all things set into motion for your face I love your face your face is kind your face is gentle a visual lullaby soothing my soul, stroking my spirit merely to be held in your eyes put upon a threshold of a dream oh, please allow me to sleep and never to awaken forever to float in this joy it's warm it fills an innate need deep inside always hungry, my thirst never quenches I have become but pure emotion as I gaze into your calming eyes your touch ignites widening vibration the earth spins faster, the sky above a flashing blur I am cradled now joined and carried softly, sweetly safe, protected for all time or so I mused oh no! the bubble has burst again, I am alone with myself worship and adoration could hold me there for only so long anew, I must walk for many miles along a crowded road of helpless souls how far must I travel? when will I be living my dreams? there is no map, only endless detours but, there is a light far, far ahead your hope must lie there will my life, at last, take me there? I've been losing for so long
here we are...once again beside the fire bitter wind whistling from outside through the eaves an acoustic tune piping low envelops gently cradling us in our rockers sway snug in our old jeans and flannel shirts I tamp my pipe as you border a blanket oil lamps way down glimmer outside..snow covered fields stark and naked winter is such a damnable alien land safe inside our shelter we hold one another in our eyes and in our gentle nature later we'll cling to one another unclothed beneath the crisp quilts our bodies warming but for now, in evenings glow we breathe...and we smile our bodies several feet apart our hearts... joined eternal!
why am I still alive? I don't deserve to be my pistol screams at me.... do us all a favor, pick me up and use me.. on yourself
he's right, you know... I've known this for a long time now if ever there were one that the world should do without... it would be me
the problem is... I'm a coward I don't like pain nor feeling bad but I'm most afraid of not being around to defend myself... from the truth
I can't accept responsibility I could never admit to being a monster every day, I lay a layer of now atop...then as if one could actually bury themself deep enough to cover their past
ha! what defines a person? is it a thought? a deed? is there a balance that weighs our scale of righteousness one way or the other?
does it eventually only come down to our own perception? we're the only ones who know the truth... about ourselves no matter what we build, construct after the horrible past... does it ever really matter what we do or think or say? nothing really changes
vile acts and vile thoughts shall forever plague me or in a sense, reward me as this is a small price to pay for hell on earth that I caused
yet I'm a coward I don't want to die I would have to face my own creation
I want to kiss you so badly. I've been waiting for so long. On that soft warm earth we lie. Our arms clutching fearfully, desperately. A light breeze, silent rustle of green gently parading about us. Sunbeams dart in ripples of shade. In the air, sweetest of hints. All that I see is. Your eyes. I am in your eyes. Breath. Gasps. Our mouths dripping of time. Our loins hungrily clinging. Longing. Need. All is silent. Time is no longer. Need passes. My eyes held in yours. Yours in mine. Silent desperation is ended. We cry out, "my love"...........Our love !
nine years past you left me lone miracle of mine cruel fate took my life away when you were but age nine too far west you traveled swept up by your mother she burnt her bridges here ran off to wed another my crest suddenly fallen I became a broken man knocked over with a feather through my memories I ran our last time together all our tears did flow our hearts had sunk in abyss you didn't want to go you cried for your daddy as your daddy cried for you we tried to cling together as we feared our lives were through without you my life tumbled for all my strength was gone without my darling baby no reason to go on through years the pain has lingered never once was there relief I found I must embrace it for our lives to have belief and now you are a woman eighteen, brave and strong coming back to live with me again we'll share our song so fathers, hold your children every chance you get for life is surely fleeting may you have one less regret
I demand satisfaction (spouted I to not one ear) I want my maid and my cook and my servant to be here I have been left here all alone and I find it very queer that I must do things for myself, since you've up and disappeared how could you ever dare to leave me after, lo, these many years after all, you were the one I chose to fetch my evening beers I put a roof over your head, gave you children to rear and this is how you repay me, well, thanks a lot my dear though I shouldn't be surprised by your petty, selfish fears our whole sad time together was awash with your tears
should one express their feelings? shall I lay my heart out bare? to one I'm not permitted to cherish is it wrong to say I care? I wish to only share my leaning yet my emotion's danger fraught how may I speak the words of meaning? a constant struggle with my thought perhaps remain forever silent wise course, could be a normal man accept that some things were never meant to be spoken save for they can but turn my back on all that feeds me? on passions path, I vowed to follow I'm at a place, I should never be where all my past musings ring hollow for quite a while now it's been clear how I feel, what must be said prudence ever alerts the fear for 'tis another she has wed oh, there's more here for to know of the one that leaves me wild she projects that robust glow of woman carrying her child her first, the birth is due in may she said, it is to be a boy perhaps there's nothing more to say her eyes, her heart, her love, her joy should I be the fool and tell her? my need, to hold her in my arms and me, be held alone in her eyes forever one within her charms but no, I can not, so I shall not disturb the life of one so dear I must show real love for another ....merely wipe away my tears
Polly wanted love so much she saw all the other girls chased by boys smiling..holding hands....kissing (gulp!) folks barely spoke to Polly and especially not boys she crept through life as an embarassment a silent mass of skulking apology her stiff legged teetering strides left observers shaking their heads she could rarely bring herself to look another in the face ....never in the eyes her face always appeared as though frozen her eyes an empty void almost lacking life blank of all emotion, except one... fear...trepidation...dread her mind a whirling nest of confusion she had little family her mother died in chidbirth ...Polly's birth her fire and brimstone preacher father had nothing to offer Polly but guilt paralyzing her every thought and move so she learned not to do much of either she had no brothers or sisters left isolated to live the hell... her father was always ranting about avoiding he tendered no warmth, no love leaving her cramped alone in a cold miserable space today is April 1st...Polly's birthday her eighteenth, though no one would notice but on this spring day in her final year of high school she became aware of something...different in class that day, there was a new student...a boy he acts like a shy, quiet person, she mused later, as she sat alone during lunch break she noticed that someone was standing beside her it was the new boy at school! as his voice cracked he stuttered... 'may I, um, um, sit at this table, um, with you?' Polly was unable to breathe til at last she squeeked out 'uh, uh, okay' he sat down across from her never raising his vision from his food on the table he spoke 'uh my name is uh, Paul' Polly's head was reeling... a boy was sitting with her, talking to her she muttered 'uh huh', then was taken mute staring glassy eyed straight down before her her heart beating as if to burst! but not another word passed between the two Paul ate his meal, then stood up, hesitated for a moment... then silently, merely strode away Polly's downward stare was transfixed...her food half-eaten Paul and Polly never spoke to one another again it was over...between them
hedistuff Forum Posts (273)
poet's room
RELEASEwe exploded in a kiss
ne'er fore imagined a thrill as this
sweet juices ran over
our swollen hot skin
we writhed round an embrace
she pressed me again
seemed almost as magic
brute strength soon unleashed
but beauty fast held me
no escape for the beast
pressure fast mounting
sounds cry from our throat
mere flesh now our world
past memory remote
strange fire erupting
cast our senses afright
frantic passion consumed
once sad hearts
now, delight!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~