Best, I would suggest in all humility that you take a course or two on reading comprehension. You, above all others on this thread, continually read things into what I said that just weren't there. You seem to be a person who thrives on the pain that comes from being insulted. I have reread this thread from start to finish quite a few times and I fail to see any post save one or two near the end where I personally insulted you but you took almost everything I said on this thread personally. Why would someone be so quick to read personal insults into everything? ask yourself that.
Pike, you are one of the 4 I refer to, You made a couple of off color posts in response to my aggressive behavior towards others, which is understandable as you had agreed with the premise of my op and we had a pretty good exchange but then I became an aggressive a**hole towards others and that should have left you feeling silly for agreeing with an a**hole, but the exchanges we had were real and I am glad you participated on the thread.
Hoprfloats, you have no reason to apologize as best says, but not for the reasons she states. She's angry because her ego is bruised...nothing wrong with that but you have every right to be angry as you were unfortunately the first poster to reply and therefore took the brunt of my brutal honesty...But I hope you realize that it was/is nothing personal, I would have responded the same way to anyone else who posted as you did. I do hope that if I do start another thread you would join in. actually I owe you a debt of thanks as it was your post and my subsequent reaction that attracted the forum trolls to this thread and allowed it to work so well. So thank you.
Well I'd like to add that you are some form of lower being for posting private emails on a public forum and then ridiculing them...I can see why your single and here.
You better dig in as I feel you'll have a revolving door built for you here.
Disgusting behavior...you really should be ashamed...but your type never are.
Best, chill out the experiment is over...no reason to continue to make my point.
You are only acting this way because you have invested your ego here...I didn't make that mistake. So I can let it go...do the right thing and let it go yourself.
I wish you no ill will. Go back a reread the thread(I just have) try reading it objectively...you should see that after I responded rather harshly in my 3rd post that brought out Hope who got upset and lashed back...I continued to try and post with honesty and granted I pulled no punches in my reply...but then it was other posters who kept upping the ante with insults and snide remarks until it culminated on page 10 with me pulling out all stops and making the remark you wrote above...
Well this has been interesting...What can this thread teach us about humanity?
Lets see...
1) If you want peoples attention create controversy and be brutally honest. My tactic of creating a thread on a topic that very few people are interested in and then being brutally honest with my replies to posters from the onset had this thread explode to the 5th highest replied thread in the Broken hearts forum and got my op viewed 3200 times in 3 days. not bad. But notice how after I discontinued my uncivil behavior and began to ignore the inflammatory posts, the thread, no longer providing what the majority of posters wanted, died.
2) The majority of people on a thread about giving love, on a dating site are not interested in love or honesty but more interested in conflict and derision. The majority of the posters on this thread are not on this dating sight looking for love or honest relationships...they are here searching for their next sparring partner. They will no doubt find one and proceed to make each other miserable until one of them feels like the winner and ends the partnership and comes back here in search of their next combatant. The one who gets dumped will no doubt find their way back here to the Broken Heart forum to cry on the shoulders of the others who are here for the same reason.
I think this thread serves as a microcosm for the world at large Think of it as a study group representative of the bigger picture of humanity. It's a sad reflection of what we've become...a bunch of miserable, victimized, hypocrites, who, having lost the capacity to feel love desperately cling to the one emotion they can understand...pain.
Hope springs eternal and there was a small glimmer of hope. There were about 4 people in these 16 pages who showed a desire to grow and better themselves...and it's that glimmer of hope that I cling to...
I've also read a study that claims that the average person lies to themself about 100 times a day...so if we can't even be honest with ourselves, what hope is there for finding honesty in our relationships?
I'll share joy and love and excitement with you anyday...but how can you, as a friend, ask me to share in something that I understand as unnecessary?
If you child was about to put a finger into a wall socket, would you join her and suffer the pain together, or would you attempt to explain that she doesn't need to experience that pain as you know of a way that she can avoid it?
Well you've got me smiling because it's very difficult to debate your points as I spent the better part of my life believing what you say about balance and it is hard to let go of it as it makes so much sense to our minds as they are conditioned to see in terms of fragmentation and conflict.
In other words we think fundamentally in terms of ourselves and the rest of the world. That division is second nature to our conscious minds and is at work in every thought.
that is why I based the op on feelings and not thought. In order to understand we have to turn off our thinking minds and feel. Trust me it ain't easy, and it's neigh on impossible to explain using words as they are a product of thought.
Do you follow? I'm not being cagey here I'm serious.
If we don't yet realize that we have everything we need to be happy in life then we need to contemplate that and find it. it is within each and everyone of us...this is the part that noone can help us with we must do it alone...it's a journey of self-discovery and nothing outside of ourselves can point us there.
Think of it this way...Control is elusive at best...but, I only really have a fairly possible chance of controlling that which is mine. I cannot expect to control other peoples thoughts actions or feelings but I do have a chance of controlling my own. so when I understand this then the thoughts feelings and actions of others cease to be an issue to me as I have no input with them.
So I spend my time doing what I can with the things I can control and not worrying about the things I can't. It's when we don't understand this that we begin to expect things from others that we can't control and this is the road to pain. When really we should realize that we have all we need already.
Ok I stated previously that I would no longer post on this thread but it seems that there are people here who take this seriously and I will continue to respond to them. I will attempt to keep my replies civil...and I will ignore any post that is off topic.
The OP's beginning thread sounded a lot like Buddhist philosophy.
We really should be careful using labels. far too often we see something that seems familiar and we discard it based solely on that assumption. But many times looking at something old with a fresh perspective can reveal things we may have missed previously.
Are we wrong to want to be loved in return, and to suffer if we desire it?
I don't feel it's a question of right or wrong...but more about is it necessary to suffer. That is the brunt of the op.
I don't think so. Take a newborn baby. The one thing it needs most in the world is love...that is the natural order of things, and as we grow we learn not only to want love, but to give love.
I respectfully disagree...what a newborn needs most is nutrition and security...those are paramount for it's survival...as for love I believe the capacity for a newborn to love is far superior to an adults. Usually what happens is we start out with all the love we'll ever need and slowly it is conditioned out of us until we hopefully arrive at a point in our lives where we can see through the fog of misinformation and get back to the understanding we had as a child.
It is also true that those who grow up in a loveless environment find it hard to love themselves as well as other people.
I don't believe that is possible...there is no such place as a loveless one. Only people who have forgotten how to show it. But it's still there and we only need feel it.
If we were to continuously give out love - others would be the recipients, and rightly so.
Yes, that is the idea...all you need is to find one other person who understands this and you will both be recipients..then imagine if everyone did the same. Then everyone would be receiving...that's the beauty of it...the giving is the point the rest takes care of itself.
It is true that uncontrolled or selfish desires can cause us unnecessary suffering
I'm more interested in this necessary suffering that this statement points to.
Unfortunately, as one of the more astute posters stated earlier...'a few rotten apples spoil the entire barrel'
Sad yes, but it's the world we live in.
I never intended to have this thread go this way and I apologize to those of you who might have got something from it if it hadn't. but it was clear to me after the first 2 pages that the majority of posters on this thread are incapable of intelligent discourse and couple that with the fact that I've been a nit bored the last couple days and well...I just couldn't help but show them for the intellectually stunted, social misfits that they are...so I fed the frenzy.
again apologies to yourself and 3 or 4 others and to all who read but had the good sense not to get involved.
This will be my last post on this thread...I'll leave the carcass of it to the vultures who killed it as they will no doubt need to get the last word in.
Lee464 Forum Posts (397)
something all should know...
Best, I would suggest in all humility that you take a course or two on reading comprehension. You, above all others on this thread, continually read things into what I said that just weren't there. You seem to be a person who thrives on the pain that comes from being insulted. I have reread this thread from start to finish quite a few times and I fail to see any post save one or two near the end where I personally insulted you but you took almost everything I said on this thread personally. Why would someone be so quick to read personal insults into everything? ask yourself that.I wish you luck and happiness.