There is a camp-out planned through another site at Stockton Lake on Sept 15, 2007.
We would LOVE for TONS of people to come! All people over 21 are invited. If you would like more info, feel free to email me and I can direct your path.
I have a tattoo of a dreamcatcher over my heart. Basically to represent my heritage and it was suppose to catch the bad dreams before they hit my heart (doesn't always work though) LOL...
Giving is NOT bad... I, too, am a giver.. BUT the one thing I have learned (albiet recently) through life is that a giving person has to realize his/her limits and make sure that they don't give beyond what they should... and that they don't give to the point of being taken advantage of because there are givers out there and there are takers and the takers will sit back and sap your soul from your body if you allow it.
Givers are also attracted to takers because givers think they can give and receive love in return, or friendshp.. or they give because that is how they outwardly show love and friendship... Takers are attractive to us because they accept that gift (whether it be cooking breakfast for someone or buying them something, etc) and relish it for a moment at least and that makes a giver feel good about themselves....sooooo we keep giving.
Here is a prime example from my pesonal life very recently (I am using this because I feel a LOT of people think they are "Givers" and are not)... A friend who is going through a divorce is having a very tough time leaving his little boy... So I gathered tons of pictures and created a scrapbook of his darling for him so that way when he felt down, he could look at the scrapbook. That "gift"-- was given for no reason at all-- no special occasion-- nothing-- and I spent over 70 hours on it and literally HUNDREDS of dollars (for film, paper, the book, accessories, etc). He was very emotional when I gave it to him and he bragged about it to everyone... it made me feel very good. BUT... at what cost? (And I am not just talking money or time here)... As we speak, he is on a cruise his this hotie he met three weeks ago... and hasn't really spoken to me since.. (I gave him the book around Christmas --plus Christmas gifts too)... That's what Givers do-- they give-- hoping to get love or friendship in return and then are crushed when they look around and see that they have neither and so much was sapped from them-- emotionally, financially, etc. with nothing to show for it.
I hope all this makes sense.. gotta love cold medicine.. I will probably be embarrased later that I wrote all this stuff -- I would be a cheap druggie-- cold medicine sends me in a whirl. ha ha...
I totally agree about media hype... I work for a high school and trust me when I say that Valentine's Day with teenagers is all the rage! The front office is filled to the brim with balloons, flowers, candy, bears, you name it... a plethora of red and pink... Enough to make you gag! The girls proudly walk down the hallways with ballons dancing behind them and a smile streched all the way across their face.. Then the other girls with tears in their eyes.. It makes your heart break!
I would hope that we would take advantage of every day to tell our loved ones how special they are to us and not support just one day to giving and showing our love to others...
I totally agree with Tracy! I do think that sometimes people ask for honest opinions and don't HONESTLY want our opinion.. they don't know how to say "Will you listen to me while I talk about this situation out loud and not say anything.. just listen"... I think we all need to learn to say that from time to time....
And the biggest thing that I think people need to remember is that an opinion is just that.... YOUR OPINION... It doesn't make it right... and more importantly-- your opinion is based on your past history and all the experiences you have had up to this point in life... whereas the person asking for the opinion can not possibly articulate all the thoughts/feeling/emotions/things said regarding the situation in which they are talking about... Therefore, I think that a person should only ask for an opinion of someone else when you want to look at a situation from a whole different perspective.. Otherwise, don't ask for it.
One thing that pisses me off is people who add their opinion and they haven't been even invited into the coversation (happens all the time in our break room at work) Drives me insane! I just want to shake them and say "you didn't even hear the full freaking story, you idiot" - *sigh* *Ok, stepping down off the high horse* sorry. :)
PS-- You did ask my opinion on this topic, right? Just checking.. LOL
I think that if you really like a man-- you better not sleep with him but rather make him work for it-- bide his time.. because men love the chase...
Am I a hopeless romantic to say that it is better when it is waited upon and shared between to people that have built a relationship or what? (*Don't start tossing pillows at me for being a bit traditional in that)...
"We connect as friends and nothing more" might be a polite way of saying that there is no "chemistry" felt on at least one person's behalf to take it to a romantic level...
But I also think it can just be a very true statement... you can't MAKE a connection happen... It either does or it doesn't and if it doesn't for one person, then it's not going to work out for either.
Here is an interesting thing I read in Cosmopolitan, Jan 2006, page94....
"Beautiful women can't be funny. They may be slightly amusing and have a charming laugh, but since they've never been considered unattractive, they don't have that scrappy, claw-your-way-up-from-the-bottom sense of humor that a less-stunning girl might have. Face is, it's always a trade-off."
The dictionary (if all else fails, always look it up, right?) defines "connection" as a bond or a link. I think that defines it pretty well. A connection between people is where they feel a bond between them which can happen for a variety of reasons from similiar interests, to physical appeal, to the simple fact that their conversations are not one-sided or epic and they easily flow between one subject to another. I know that when I feel a deep connection with someone, I often catch myself saying "I was just about to say that" a lot.
I also think that connections have something to do with similar backgrounds and/or situations as well. We feel connected to others when we can say "I did that too" or "I know what you are going through"...
I do think that you can feel a stronger connection to some people than you can to others-- and I also think that connection sometimes happen instantly and others happen over time...
Lionhearted.... I totally agree with you about how you feel that some people become more attractive the longer you know them. I think that happens all the time... You go ahead and begrudgingly talk to someone and then the next thing you know, your heart is swooning because they are witty and intelligent and personality-wise they just click with you, so it is very attractive. You forget the face and emerge yourself in wonderful conversation which can be such an afrodeaseak (whooo hoo I spelled that one wrong, but am too lazy to look it up)...
The opposite is true too though-- There was this guy just this past weekend that I met at a club... I was thinking "HOLY COW that dude is soooo hot!!!!"-- and he came over and started talking to me-- THE MOMENT he opened his mouth-- I lost total interst.. He couldn't complete an intelligent sentence...(Yes, I must admit, I thought about just putting duck tape over his mouth...and.....) LOL KIDDING!!!!!
You are NOT the only one by any means! I think that some days I am so obsessed with finding a soul-mate (ok ok-- I will admit it-- or even just someone to talk to) ha ha that I forget to do things in life that I should be doing.... I am totally obsessed.. I, too, DESPISE waking up each day and it is with a heavy heart that I face the days alone.. I also am becoming quite an insominac because I linger forever in order to avoid a cold bed to crawl into alone... Often getting 3 hours or less of sleep (whereas when I was in a happy relationship, I would sleep for hours and hours and linger in bed )...
Sadly, I don't think I am searching for "the one"-- just connections which are hard to come by at this age because everyone I know is married and has children and I have neither, so it is hard to find people to just "hang" with. I am a people-person.. so it is tough sitting at home alone listening to the clock drone on forever as I think of the minutes passing that I could be hanging out and finding fun with others...
I personally get sick and tired of friends telling me "spend this time to get to know yourself and find things you love to do"... I am freaking 32 years old-- If I don't know myself by now-- Lord, It's not going to happen! ha ha.
So, no-- absolutely not-- you are not alone.. I think there are hundreds of us who long for that soul connection and seek it at all costs... And ya know what-- ain't nothing wrong with that.... :)
Go for it! Use it till your hearts content-- Maybe we should start a whole new site where none of those things are allowed. LOL.... Unfortunately, I honestly had ran in to EACH of those type of people. ha ha.
Keeping a list of things that make you giggle as you read the profiles is the only way to keep sane! I am thinking about publishing a book on all the horror stories I have gone through -- it could become a best seller like a Bridget Jones on Nightmare Street. BUT the hopeless romantic in me keeps hoping Mr Right is out there! :)
First, kuddos for posting such an interesting topic...
Second, I think you are a cutie, so there is nothing wrong with the pic. I do agree with one of the people earlier who said that some pics are a total turn off.. There was this one guy that IMed me on another site that I swear, hadn't washed his hair in months-- it was so greasy, I bet grease was dripping off of it! Personally, that is a hygenically challenged person. Would I talk to him.. yes... AS FRIENDS ONLY and I made myself VERY VERY clear about that from the get go.. But honestly, every time I chatted with him, the only thing I could think about was how badly I wanted to tell him to wash his hair and take a new photo!
I don't think most women (or men for that matter0 are looking for perfection in pictures.. In fact, I prefer not talking to someone who feels they have to show off their half (or whole) naked body. Again, it goes back to the picture telling me something about who you are... whether you want to admit it or not...
I also think that we are all somewhat judgemental even if we don't care to admit it about ourselves. If you were in a bar and a really really ugly chick came up to you and started hitting on you-- would you guy her a drink? I don't think so... so why is it different on here?
Now, don't get me wrong.. I know I have a LONG LONG LONG way to go to be "one of the beautiful people" (so far to go that I will never reach that)-- but I also don't think I am repulsive.. just as I think that no one on here that I have seen is repulsive. However, i do get leary of people with no pic.. I do like to put a face with the person I am flirting with. ha ha
tat2eddrmctchr Forum Posts (22)
Camp-out planned in MO, all singles over 21 invited!
There is a camp-out planned through another site at Stockton Lake on Sept 15, 2007.We would LOVE for TONS of people to come! All people over 21 are invited. If you would like more info, feel free to email me and I can direct your path.
Here's hoping to see you all there!