xjennxox Poetry (50)

I dread morning's cruel light
and it's mocking creation of day.
I can hear it's whispers cry out to me
"It is time for you to face your reality,
for I have cast away the shadows
you have tried so desperately
to hide within."

The pain begins to wake me,
My nightmare starts to shake me
I find demons trying break me
And day by day I suffer in silence,
Screaming inside but no one knows
What I continue to hide, the pressure,
the pain, and yet there's no one but myself to blame
Is there anyone I could tell?
Would they scream or yell?
From the looks on their faces,
I could never tell, they steal and lie
Yet I'm the one who defies them,
With secrets, they search for but never find.

I thought you were the brave one.

Then I realized you were the scared one.

I left you there, in your fear to find the truth.

While you became lost in the crowd.

I became the one who lead them.

I wanted to cut up the stars.
Watch supernovas leave their imprints in space.
But she stopped me...
she took my hand, and I looked into her eyes.
I couldn't hear a word she was saying...
but her being there was enough.
It would always be enough, I just wish she had been here sooner.
I wish she had told me, we were in this together and not apart.
Because I wanted to destroy everything I love, to create the landscape I feel in my heart.
She told me not to be lost...
Well, I'm trying.

Storms & rain.
Rumbling thunder.

Tonight unhinder;
and it is here we make ourselves.
Thoughts are numerous
and I feel tears that aren't there.

Lightning makes everything clear,
and the night becomes not so lonely.

Love spreads a warmth over me.
Now we shall know rest.

Brillance.
Blind in me in the dark.
Take me out slowly into the day,
watch me dance in the rain.
Are you watching?
Will you find me in the end?
Take me into your arms...
I am frightened.

She is not me anymore; I am not her.
Time has changed me so fast.
Just imagine what will happen now...
I can't understand anymore where I begin and you end.
You are there now.
Slowly, I am no more of who I was.
Just another face in the world, who gave up another name.
Will you still be writing my name on your wrists, like you write those you love on them now?

I wake up in the morning.
A mess. Lost inside my dreams...
the pillows are thrown to the floor.
My sheets and blankets wrapped around me; my body.
Constraining:
I am awake.
Running my hands through my hair; the long curls gone.
I wake with no one's name on my lips to whisper.
I wake with no smile from a lost sweet memory.
Here... and yet still gone.

I'm walking....
I see kids playing....
Life is differnt.......
For someone like me.....
My pain is for nothing.....
My body is without a soul....
And my clothes are torn.......
Blood is mixed with the snow...
I can hear the laughing.........
I can tell they never missed me....
Never even wanted to know.....me....
I'm standing watching................
Tears spill and stain.................
As I walk alway sad...cold...and...Alone

dead in my mind
and cold to the bone
i opened my eyes
and saw i was alone...

When I Die I want it to be sweet but filled with pain......
When I Die I want the world to fade in a Dizzy spiral.............
When I Die I want to hear the howeling of a sad and lonely Wolf.......
When I Die I want to Cry crystal tears to show my pain..................
But most of all when I die I want to laugh so I can see the Tiny Bells of Joy in his eyes..............To show everything is fine.............Even when I Die

you went away
took my heart
i dropped a tear
and died that night
i loved you

The game of life
Everyone is playing it
I'm going backwards
While everyone goes forward

Everyone is graduating
I'm just starting
Look at the marriages
I'm just graduating

Look at their cute little kids
I just got my first divorce
They just bought their house
I just got my first youngster

I can't play the game of love
Nor the game of life
It's all going by
I wish it wouldn't fly

Their life is perfect
I'm on my second marriage
Starting over
I need a redo

Big bad job
I just started
Big new home
Third marriage
I'm a little whore

Can't play the game of love
Nor the game of life
It's all going by
I wish it wouldn't fly