lolly1kerry Poetry (12)

A thousand steps
Walking a crooked fence
Would I save time
If i walked a straight line?

But I need it
Im lost
I feel confusion and dissmay
I don't know another way

I will follow where it goes
For I know where ive been
Everything I've done
Everything I've seen

So along the crooked fence i descend
A thousand steps to a dead end

Questions,
An answer to our ingestions,
But what do we do?
When we question our questions?

A conclusion made,
A spade is a spade,
The last note,
Of our seranade.

Not the correct answer,
Just not the correct question,
Who am I?
Who have I become? No!

Ask yourself,
What do I stand for?
Who do I love?
And when this fails.
Repeat all of the above

I sit with you on top of me
Hold you close
Slow at first
One.... Two.... Three

Close my eyes
Hear you cry
Faster we get
Harder we try

Listen to you carefully
Making sure you respond to my touch
I want to hear you talk to me
In that way I love so much

Love to go on forever
But I have to let you go
Realising we've been here hours
My hands begin to slow

It creates a feeling within me
Like nothing else can do
In a moment of ecstasy
As I sit as one with you

Sit in, turn the key
Into 1st
feel the thirst
No better way to be free

A car is like a woman
Many virtues you need
Understanding, appreciation, respect
These are the keys

Not an object
You become a gear
A comlicated being
Love, yet fear

Although
You must be careful
Of what fate may send
You never know whats around the next bend

Trust is a two way thing
Hearing your fone ring
The other end someone is there
Wanting to know you care

You hurt my trust so many times
I start to read between the lines
Jelousy starts to appear
Your movement i start to fear

I catch you in an act
You tell me its okay
Im just paranoid
Walk away

Telling me everything fine
While you're thinking about a swine
I know things are wrong, I cannot say
Im loosing you every day

Trust is a feeling between
Two minds with one conscience clean
My trust was blind
You played my mind

I ask you for truth
But you say no

Just go

You told me it was my fault, I brought us down
I hope you find happiness your new clown

I sit uneasy
What will I do
Itching for something
I am bored through and through

Watching the clock
Time stands still
Repetitive excitements
Dont give any thrill

Intruiged by something
Loses appeal
It doesnt last long
Bored i feel

The same actions
If not once
For the hundreth time
Intellect in decline

Up all night
In bed all day
I must escape
This disarray

Not really bored
Jus constantly ignored
My choice at a junction
Decay or function

A new face in a new place
I look with timid eyes
Everyone watcing curiosly
Here there are no lies

Friends come quick
Rush to say hello
Smiling and lauhging
Only better this can go

A different life
I can excell
A new place
I know so well

I make a clan
With one near
In this place
Nothing I fear

Im trying to write happy
I can do this I will
I try and I try
But words stand still

Why does this happen
Am I truly dark
Do I need inspiration?
Where is the spark?

I think of good times
Im thinkng
And thinking
Just staring at the cursor blinking

I want find the inspiration
To this essential creation

How do I do it where do I go
I want to get a magical flow
To a poem which I can surrender
To my first happy poem, which I will truly remember

I poison my body
Thus my mind
A butchers blade
I quickly find

Posessed and out of control
Satan laughs, He hijacks my soul
A danger to myself, and to others
Nobody safe, not even my brothers

Walking slowly towards my prey
This is your final day
Not a care in the world for what will insue
I will not regret what im about to do

A friend or foe, its all the same
Dont try to beat me at my own game
The clock srikes six, but i know why
The devil has told me, do or die

Im on the third floor, I open the door
Looking down on concrete, I will exist no more
My last cigarette, I control my rage
I thankfully realise, me and the concrete, will not engage


Afternoon arrives, I finally arise
To a horrible recollection, the peak of my demise

What I want do I truly know?
My mind is random, A uniqe flow

When I have something to state
Next reaction, hesitate
I turn around, lock the gate

What do I want? Can I trust?
Just another sinfull lust?

I put on my mask, hold out my sheild
My compass, in a magnetic minefield

Quick decisions usually lead
To another blackening of my creed

What I want, I have learned
Another part of me, yet again burned

You were my guide, Always prepared
Without you, I am truly scared

Scared however is differend than weak,
I want no more
I seek.

When we look to the past we say
To all my enemies, you will pay

When we look to the past we feel
Never ending rotation, An infinate wheel

A life in the past will only gain
Joy, happiness, veneered with pain

Although my past I cannot change
The future I must re-arrange

Looking back, in total despair
Why did this happen, it is not fair

When we look do the past we think
Forget the past lets raise a drink

We find ourselves again in the wheel
No longer knowing what we feel

Trying to forget
Forgetting to try

To the world we say goodbye

Someone better will make you smile
Even if its just for a little while

Someone better will never let you down,
Or turn that smile upside down

Someone better will be always by your side
Someone you can truly abide

Someone better will let you be
To wander like a bumble bee, Free

The time has come for you to see
That someone is not me