Tangerino Poetry (2)

An old house with lots of history, stained glass and fireplace
Wooden floors, pressed ceilings, bay windows and a lot of space
This charming home was never mine the others were lost too
It’s never long enough to put down roots before I need to move

A slender dog with big brown loving eyes, my grey Jinxy cat
My Coco and Nicademus, gone! Isn’t it funny that?
I can never keep them long enough to show how much I care
I’ve missed these lovely creatures, It’s hardly even fair

My two children, boy and girl, my two bright shining stars
I couldn’t keep you in my house; I will always bare the scars
I wanted your true happiness more than life itself
I left you with my relatives for your stability and health

My friends and my ex-lovers, you meant so much to me
If it didn’t work out, then I guess; it was not meant to be
I’ve hurt to leave each one of you, It’s hard to just move on
Disappointments are inevitable, you just weren’t the one

For all the things I’ve lost in life and all the things I’ll lose
They are only borrowed to me for a time, even when I choose
To keep something forever, or fall in love again
I’ll savor every moment, ‘cause I just don’t know when;
It could all fall apart, or be snatched away from me
The only constant thing is change, time is only motion,
To keep true love and happiness; there is no magic potion!

Made from love and I was born
A mistake that came from heaven
Hugs I needed and the love I craved
Were very rarely given
The acceptance that he gave
Was not really real
Then I would start to misbehave
To get attention that I craved
My soul cried out to be loved
By a man in love with his beer
The soul can never forget this pain
And so you must forgive me dear
My frustrations were forged back then
I thought deep to find the answer

One night I was a troubled teen
It seems today like an awful dream
I thought no one cared or listened
The droplets of beer on his beard glistened
He was awful to my mother
He was hurting my little brother
Mean to me as always, far too much aggression
A white teddy bear a rainbow around his neck;
I clung to it for comfort that night, his name was Ragamuffian

I took all the pills that I could find
And lay down on their bed hoping to die
Soon I became filled with fear,
Where would my soul go from here?
When he came into the room, so late
I murmured: “please don’t let me die”
He dragged me to the bathroom then
Tried forcing salt water down my throat
My hair was pulled I was thrown to the ground
He drunk drove me to the hospital
He ripped my teddies head off
Pulled me up the stairs…

I awoke in a hospital bed…
It was my birthday the next day! And I was full of tears…

I’m so sorry to disappoint you; I know this won’t make sense
Could hardly explain it all…But I hate teddies to this day,
I was craving the love of a beer drinking man
I could never bear to be shut out this way…
The gate: your evidence!