souljah8207 Poetry (4)

A happy home…
It’s been so long
And so hard to carry on
Seem like all my good days R gone
A part of me died in the war zone
My flesh didn’t get touched
But I’m losin’ my life ‘n’ my hopes R crushed
Left my mama’s arms
‘N’ ran 2 his
But it was like I wasn’t even one of his kids
Can u believe this…?
Went back 2 my motha’s titty but the milk wasn’t the same
But it was I who changed
Taste buds got used 2 malt liquor and green bud
Moved down 2 the A Town
All the negativity’s away now
Oh wow…
Time 4 college
New peers
Check the dorm, I’m there
My worst fear
I was forced up outta there
If not there
Then where
Do I belong (do I fit in)
How could I be strong?
Journeys cut short
Cursed fate of some sort
It’s hard 4 me 2 be all I can be..
Maybe the Army’s wantin’ me
Now I’m a war veteran
But I’m vexed again
This too has come to an en’ my frien’
And then
Head back to the household
This life gets old
I’m so cold
Back home is stress and confusion
My delinquent brotha I’m losin’
-Why R u abusin’
My life
-This is my life…
‘N’ I’m so alone
‘N’ not knowin' where I roam
All I want is a Happy Home

It’s like holding a Bundle of Joy
Not knowin’ if she’s really there
Or will despair
Be made clear
As the time draws near
This I fear
As I stare
At your captured image
That I live with
Hurt
Regret
And Pain
Love restrained
It feels strange
To hold what I can’t claim
Why must Life play these damn games?
Again I am stained
Another strain on my brain
Soul enflamed
My love is not tamed
But I must keep it at a distance
Like Hell from Christians
‘cause that pain I can’t live with
2 let it loose
And watch the Truth
Kill it
Then regret that I did it
Ain’t that a -------

Stuck between a rock and a hard place
A place that ain’t safe
Filled with teardrops and heartaches
Disgrace
This place
I’ve been before
Still an open sore
Since the moment I stepped through her open door
It’s been war
Tearin’ my heart apart
Beneath the scarlet mark
But still in the darkest dark
I still can see a spark
The lightness of your Highness
Behind this
“Brown-Eyed-b*tch”
Or rather
A place that’s sadder
But safer
Where I am the only partaker
Of my love’s flavor
Patron
Chef
And waiter
Distant
“Commitment”
Forgot what It meant
Awaiting the next shipment
Of fresh meats
To bless my sheets
Address my needs
“-and what about me?”
b*tch please!!!
Love is a dis-ease
That I do not need
My options are these…
Left between
A Rock and a Hard Place

I take another breath
Taste the stress back of my throat
Back of my throat
To the depth of my chest
Wondein’
Why there’s any breath lest
When so many lye breathless
In that place I lest
Where Death won’t rest
Pain won’t sleep
And troublin’ thoughts won’t cease
As you pray for peace
Beg and plead
Prayin’ that you leave
Finally, orders received
By the momentary reprieve
A hard thing to learn
You’ve been called to return
To the bloody sounds that burn
Eager to turn…
Your Happy times with family
Into thoughts & dreams that tear at your sanity
How can this be?
That nothing happen to me
Left to live a life that’s sad to see
II pray they’re not mad at me
Victims of a Patriotic tragedy
Bonded by Comrodery
By the Lord,
Another fate’s been handed me
Try to be understandin’
Please!
I implore Thee
Forever I mourn we (thee)
“til this whole world is over
My Fallen soldier
Souljah