Retsina_007 Poetry (16)

I am a little snail
who is learning how to dance
but I fear it's not going well
as I try to leap and prance

The teacher keeps instructing me
to do the things I can't
my problem is when dancing
I'm about as nimble as a plant

She is forever telling me
to go quick, quick, quick, slow
but how to do the first three
I simply do not know

So I think I'll be a wallflower
and lean against the wall
for dancing is just not my thing
I'm just no good at all

Twas the night before Christmas
when all through the house
nothing did stir
not even this souse

I lay in a heap
pissed as a newt
all crumpled up
in my best dinner suit

The evening had started
with a glass of eggnog
as I sampled a slice
of the chocolate Yule log

From there I moved on
to the new Christmas beer
a double strength concoction
created to cheer

At dinner there was wine
both white and red
and the port that I tasted
went right to my head

Carols were sung
and a few of us danced
it was at this time
that a brandy I chanced

It was the one for the road
and not meant to queer pitch
but at the back of my throat
I had felt a slight itch

It slipped down and soothed
so another I had
and it was right at this time
that I started to feel bad

A whiskey's the thing
that's what I need
a large one I poured
It went down with great speed

So the night before Christmas
under tree do I lay
and don't intend stirring
throughout Christmas Day


Happy Holidays

available on YouTube

The Mermaid (Part One)

The evening was cool
and the sky was so clear
while ripples of waves
were all I could hear

The moon shone bright
and stars twinkled on high
when from out of nowhere
came so seductive a sigh

I looked out to sea
to whence the sound came
and my eyes did believe
they were playing a game

For as waves lapped around
a rock out at sea
a beautiful vision
was sat staring at me

Naked as love
she sat all alone
on that rising edifice
of black granite stone

Her body so wondrous
that I shook with such lust
but a smile so pure
that my thoughts were unjust

Her hair was entangled
with kelp luscious green
that protected her modesty
oh what a scene

It hung down over breasts
so excitingly full
covering the parts
that are made to enthral

My mind quickly taken
by this girl of my dreams
though as I looked closer
all was not as it seems

For legs this beauty
was completely bereft
and a long fishy tail
was all she had left

Then with a smile
that made my heart still
she slipped into the water
and I saw she was real

For she dived like a dolphin
under azure sea
and all that was left
were the ripples and me


The End........or is it?

Christmas is mere days away
and I've yet to write my list
so I had better get it done right now
or my chimney will be missed

Santa's sleigh will pass right by
not stopping on my roof
an empty space under the tree
will be considered proof

He will not drink his eggnog
or bite into mince pie
the carrots will be left untouched
while I will surely cry

So pen it is to paper
a bike and a dog wrote down
and then something for dressing up
the costume of a clown

I won't put socks and hankies
or any type of clothes
there is no need to write them down
as he always brings me those

Some puzzles, and a good book
and a tangerine of course
while right there at the top of list
I think I'll put a horse

Merry Christmas