DARKDESIRE87 Poetry (8)

I WANTED YOU TO BE MY KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR.I WANTED YOU TO COME IN ON YOUR WHITEHORSE EVERY AND SAY "IM HERE SWEET PRINCESS,IM HERE TO SAVE THE DAY".I WANTED YOU TO BE THE FRONG THAT TURNED INTO THE HANDSOME PRINCE.EVERY NIGHT I GO TO SLEEP I PRAY THAT YOU WOULD COME AND KISS,THE KISS THAT WAKES ME UP INTO A BETTER WORLD.I LEFT MY GLASS SLIPPER BEHIND BUT YOU DROPPED IT AND LET IT SHATTER INTO A MILLION PIECES.MY FAIRY GODMOTHER WITH ALL HER MAGIC COULDNT EVEN PUT THE PIECES BACK TOGETHER.I WAITED ALL NIGHT,BUT YOU DIDNT COME...I NEVER MADE IT TO THE BALL...I JUST WANTED MY FAIRY TALE ENDING...

I WAS UP ALL NIGHT DRINKING IN ALL OF YOUR LOVE.I STAYED UP SO LATE TAKING YOUR PASSION PILLS.YOUR SCENT IS THE PERFECT DRUG THAT FILLS MY NOSE.YOU GIVE ME SUCH A HIGH THAT I GO INTO DAZE.LAST NIGHT I ALMOST HAD AN OVERDOSE BECAUSE OF THE SIMPLE FACT THAT YOU TOUCHED ME.I CAN FEEL YOUR LOVE,YOUR SOUL FLOWING THROUGH MY VEINS.I TRIED TO QUIT COLD TURKEY BUT IT WAS JUST TOO HARD...THEN YOU STOPPED MY SUPPLY.YOU TOLD ME I COULDNT HAVE ANYMORE OF YOU.YOU TOLD ME THAT I NEEDED REHAB,THOSE WORDS...I COULDNT BELIEVE WHAT I WAS HEARING.I SIT IN COLD SWEATS AT NIGHT,ACHING TO HAVE YOU,WISHING I COULD HAVE JUST ONE MORE HIT OF YOUR LOVE...I WOKE UP THIS MORNING WITH BIGGEST HEADACHE.I SPENT ALL NIGHT DRINKING IN THE MEMORY OF YOUR LOVE...I THINK I NEED A DOCTOR...I HAVE ONE HELL OF A LOVE HANGOVER

I SPENT ALMOST TWO YEARS LOVING YOU.I GAVE YOU EVERY PIECE OF MY HEART,MY SOUL,EVERYTHING IN MY BEING.WE HAD OUR UPS AND DOWNS,OUR HIGHS AND LOWS.IN THE LOVE WE STILL LOVED EACH OTHER.NOW IM SITTING HERE WISHING I COULD GO BACK IN TIME AND RIGHT ALL THE WRONGS WE MADE.WE FOUGHT SO MUCH THAT YOU SAY WE CANT BE SAVED.BUT I SEE IT DIFFERENT.AND WHEN I THOUGHT THINGS COULDNT GET WORST,YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU WANT ME AROUND AS A FRIEND.IT FELT LIKE SOMEONE SNATCHED THE AIR FROM MY LUNGS.FRIENDS,I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD HEAR THOSE WORDS.ALL THE LOVE WE SHARED,THE INTIMATE MOMENTS AND I FIND THAT IM WORTH ONLY YOUR FRIENDSHIP.I KNOW ITS BETTER THAN NOTHING,BUT ITS LIKE TEARING MY HEART OUT AND TELLING ME NOT TO LOVE YOU.BUT I CANT.EVERY TIME I SEE YOU I THINK OF OUR PAST RELATIONSHIP AND YOU THINK OF OUR FUTURE FRIENDSHIP.I NEVER BEEN IN LOVE BEFORE YOU AND NOW I HAVE TO ACT LIKE IT NEVER HAPPENED.BUT IT DID AND WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I HAVE EVER HAD THE BLESSING TO WITNESS.BUT YOU WANT ME TO LET GO.ALL I HAVE ARE MEMORIES TO KEEP ME WARM AT NIGHT BECAUSE YOUR LOVE IS SO COLD.I TRY EVERY DAY TO LET YOU GO BUT IT HURTS SO BAD.THATS ALL I FEEL IS HURT,PAIN,LONELY,LOST...BUT DOES THAT MATTER TO YOU,IM JUST FRIEND...

I REMEMBER THE NIGHT I WAS SICK,YOU CAME TO STAY WITH ME SO I DIDNT HAVE TO BE ALONE.WE WOULD PLAY STUPID CHILDHOOD GAMES BUT IT MEANT A LOT TO US.WE STAYED UP ALL NIGHT WATCHING MOVIES.YOU GAVE ME A DIFFERENT TYPE OF INTIMACY.YOU GAVE ME YOUR HEART.YOU MADE ME SMILE IN WAYS THAT MELTED AWAY ALL PROBLEMS,PAIN,OR SICKNESS.YOU ARE A WONDERFUL PERSON...

DAYS GET SO LONEY WITHOUT YOU.I DONT FEEL ANYMORE PAIN,JUST NUMB.I MISS THE LOVE WE USE TO HAVE.THESE DAYS ARE JUST FEELED WITH ANGER AND SADNESS.I MISS THE WARMTH OF YOUR EMBRACE.THE SWEET SMELL OF YOUR BODY.I MISS THE SOUND OF YOUR VOICE.THAT COMFORTING SOUND,THAT REASSURANCE IN YOUR TONE.THESE DAYS IM FINDING IT SO HARD TO FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT YOU.THE AMOUNT OF ANGER THAT WE SHOW TOWARDS EACH OTHER,DRIVES MY LOVE AWAY.BUT I DONT WANT IT TO GO AWAY. I JUST WANT IT TO STAY AND BE THE SAME.I WANT IT TO GO BACK TO THE DAYS WHEN I WAS EVERYTHING TO YOU. WHEN ALL OF OUR DREAMS WERE AT OUR FINGER TIPS.WHEN YOU STILL LOVED ME.I DONT FEEL THAT ANY MORE.I JUST FEEL THE COLD BRUSH OF YOUR HEART.EVERYTHING INSIDE ME TELLS ME THAT I SHOULD JUST MOVE ON AND LET YOU GO.JUST MOVE ON AND NEVER LOOK BACK.BUT MY HEART WONT ALLOW IT.IT KEEPS TELLING ME TO FIGHT,BUT I CANT.I FEEL SO BEATEN AND TORN.I FEEL AS THOUGH I HAVE LOST THIS WAR BETWEEN US.I NEVER WANTED TO FIGHT YOU I NEVER WANTED US TO END LIKE THIS.I JUST WANTED US TO MOVE ON...TOGETHER...HAPPY

DAY IN AND DAY OUT I WONDER WHAT LED US TO THIS POINT. THE LOVE WE HAD WAS SO SPECIAL,UNTOUCHABLE.YOU WERE ALL I EVER WANTED AND MORE.DAY IN AND DAY OUT I WONDER WHAT LED US TO THIS POINT.LED US TO THE POINT THAT WE CANT GET ALONG,LED US TO THE POINT THAT WE CANT STAND EACH OTHER,CANT TALK EACH OTHER WITHOUT FIGHTING.DAY IN AND DAY OUT I TELL MYSELF I DONT NEED THIS PAIN,I DONT NEED TO HURT LIKE THIS,I DONT WANT TO CRY EVERY NIGHT.DAY IN AND DAY OUT I WONDER HOW I LOST YOU.I TRY TO MOVE ON EVERY DAY, BUT DAY IN AND DAY OUT YOU FIND A WAY TO COME BACK. DAY IN AND DAY OUT I TRY TO TELL MYSEL;F OVER AND OVER THAT I JUST DONT NEED YOU. DAY IN AND DAY OUT I WANT TO TO BE NEXT TO YOU.DAY IN AND DAY OUT I TRY TO TO FORGET YOU.DAY IN AND DAY OUT I STILL MISS YOU...

There are so many words I can say to describe the way that I feel for you. I cannot even control the thoughts in my mind as I write this. I never seem to know what to say when it comes to you. It is almost like the feeling when I see you. I still get nervous like that first night when you came to see me. Every time I see you I try to control myself. I get so over whelmed that I met somebody like you. I still cannot even explain the reasons why I love you. It is more of a feeling than an actual thought. Many people are quick to state the things that they love about their partner. I never could. The reason is not because there are none, but because there are so many. Each day I look at you I just wonder how did this happen to me, I am nobody special. What did I do to deserve such greatness, such magnificence? I try so hard not to put you on a pedestal but I cannot help it. You turned out to be more than I could have ever imagined. I still sometimes think I am dreaming. To be honest sometimes I am scared of the love I have for you. I am not scared to love you, but scared of the love itself. I have been in love before, but I have never truly loved someone without consequence. The thought of you scares me. The fact that you love me unconditionally simply scares me. The fact that you are not like the men from my past scares me. You never once tried to hurt me. You never betrayed me. You never treated me less than perfect. I guess I am scared that one day all of this will just go away. I keep thinking to myself that maybe this is just a dream, anybody this perfect as to be a dream, but you are not a dream. You are someone that God created. Someone that was handmade to perfection. You were built in the likeness of an immortal treasure, maybe even a god. You are sculpted to the sheer beauty of a black god. You have the wisdom of a Greek philosopher, the knowledge of some of the greatest people in the world. Your touch is like a light breeze. It feels as if you are an artist gently touching his canvas. You have eyes that hold so much in them, when I look into your eyes everything just stops. The room stops, I hear nothing but the sweet sound that you call a voice. Everything around seems to cease to exist and just disappears. Sometimes it almost feels like I am in a trance.

My mind goes off to a place where it never wants to come back from. It just gets lost in circumference of your voice. The words that are released from your lips have a sort of ease. A type of sound that sends a message to the heart to reassure it that everything will be ok. The type of sound that allows the mind to go into a place where no one else can bring it out of, except your touch. You have the ability to hold me in a grasp that melts away fear. When you hold me I feel safe, I feel secure. I feel as if the dangers of the world would never dare try to compete with you. I feel as though I can let my guard down. I feel as though for once I can be the one to be scared. I have a chance now to run to someone when I get scared of life or when I feel as though the weight of the world is attacking me. It almost feels as if you are a force field. You do not allow harm to enter the circle you place around me. You look my fears in the eye and tell them what I do not have the heart to say. When I am around you I feel as if I can be someone else. I feel I can be the person I dream about. You allow me to live in fantasy mixed reality world. You give me the fairy tale love that everybody wants in life, but you also allow me to see life for what is and what it could be. When you are not around I feel vulnerable. I feel like a scared little girl who needs protecting. I guess I got so spoiled by your love. I need you around to protect me. Like in a typical fairy tale, you are the prince who needs to slay the dragon to save me. As silly as that may sound that is how I feel. Every girl waits for their knight in shining armor. But I like to think of you more than that. Sure you came and swept me off my feet, but the sheer thought of the battles you have fought for me, the pain you chose take instead of letting me cry alone, I believe you deserve more than a fairy tale title. I guess when you finally get your knight in shining armor and find that he is so much more; you try to find better ways to admire them. You do not know how many nights I have prayed and thanked God for you. I more than thank him for sending you to me. I thank him for allowing me to open my heart up to you after years of pain. The amount of pain that I held on my heart was enough to make me give up on love. My heart was beaten and torn that it simply could not take anymore. But the night I met you God said “give it one more try, just do it for me”. I felt I owe it to God to give love one more try so I did. Although I was hesitant at first, I closed my eyes and jumped in head first. Once I made that jump I started to fall. I became so scared because I did not want to get hurt again. I was already hurting from the past. I was falling in love, and I was falling fast. I did not know what to do. I kept falling, but in the end you caught me, you caught me and did not drop me. You caught me and never let go.
“….And the point of it all I LOVE YOU"