cambuff Poetry (74)

I lost my true love
I shed a million one tears
No more shall I shed.

To follow this trend
I had to Google Haiku,
Easy it is not!

The king sent for his physician,
A noble doctor indeed,
Who read the instructions
To the king, who needed
Relief from his torture.
" Your Royal Highness,
We request, you follow
Our words without any doubts.
Place your face upon you bed.
Your night shirt to reveal
Your Royal hinnies.
Spread wide your cheeks,
You must, so your doctor
Can apply the goo."

The doctor who had
Been subject to
Verbal abuse since
The Royal hemorrhoids grew,
Was more than happy
To comply.

He did smear the, without
Pity I fear, the white goo,
Of the witch, wizard,
And alchemists brew.

The king screamed, shouted,
And danced without joy.
"Off with the heads,
Of all those involved!"
He yelled through
The laughter of all.

The diligent messenger
Was the first to flee;
Steeling the kings steed
That delivered the mischief's
Brew.

The doctor, also made haste,
Grabbing the instructions,
Recipe and goo.

The king sent three thousand
Men in arms, to capture
The witch, wizard an alchemist,
To have beheaded at his request.
The army found the huts
Abandoned, deserted, with
Nary a clue, where three
Geniuses had made their goo.


This story has one
More chapter, I must declare.
It takes place in
The mystical land
Of radio's, trains and
And Ford's Model T's.

The recipe of the long
Forgotten friends
Of Demon Forest,was
Found by an librarian
While going thru papers
Of yore.
He played with the
Formula, as instructed,
To which the white goo
He had brewed, was that of
The witch, wizard and alchemist.

The goo that he brewed
He could find no use.
It burned on a scratch,
He dare not taste it;
Knowing not what it would do.
It smelled to pretty, to
Discard it, without any more
Thought.

Noticing he was running
Late for a date, and
Smelling of his pits,
And not charming of
Odor, hastily wipes the
White goo on the
Offending odor.

Hats off to long fogotten
Friends;
The witch, wizard. and alchemist,
Plus a quick on the toes,
Liberian, for their contribution,
And foresight, has given us
DEODORANT!!

In the days of
Dragons, demons, orges,
And elves, lived a
King with a malady,
Of sorts.
Doctors, mid wives,
And chicken soup,
Could not ease his
Discomfort and pain.

So his fastest rider
He did summon, on
The kingdoms strongest
Steed,
On a mission
He did send him,
That took him over
Mountains and plains.

For fourteen days,
The noble rider rode,
With little rest,
For him and his steed.
Until at last, he beheld,
The edge of Demon Forest.

Cautiously, stealthful,
Constantly vigilant,
He trudged on, with
Steed in tow.
An odor oh so foul
Did reveal, his journey's
End was almost near.

Nervous, frightened
And at wit's end,
The messenger hastily
Reported his king's
Request.
These, the wizard, witch,
And alchemist, were
The most feared of all.

Without a nod, without
A word,
They set their minds
To the task the
Royal Majesty did
Bequeathe.
The witch and wizard
Searched the forest
For just the plant
That was needed,
For the cure of
The kings malady.

The witch was the first
To discover her ingredient;
The leaves Of the mystical
Cyclopentsiloxane bush.
The wizard was soon
To follow with the stems
Of the Aluminum Chlorohydrate
Flower.

Returning to their huts
They brewed all night,
Stirring, prodding, mixing,
Until dawn, they did brew.
Come morning light,
To the messenger they
Did hand, a jar of
Some white goo.
Instruction were also sent,
With the recipe of their brew
Along with the leaves
Of the mystical plants.

My dearest precious, Love;

Thine last letter lightened my heavy heart, as well as deeply saddening it.

Thine words of love,; O dear, beautiful, one, no man is worhy to have bestowed upon him! What right , as a man of mere flesh, do I have to claim such words of passsion, love, and devototion? What right, have I?

I longed to hear thee say that thou loves me; To read thy words of passion, desiring me above all others, weakened my knees to which I had to steady my stance.

O dear, dear, love, my soul shed tears of happiness, knowing that I shall be home, within the week that comith; rushing to thine arms, embarrassing thee with such fury, we become as one, without the shedding of a single thread! Lost to all, but ourselves, entwined, embraced, never to part.

To knowst that I am welcomed in thy heart,in thy bedchamber, into thine womanhood, sharing passion that has no equal; were desires that I thought laid in my mind, never to be revealed.

Precious, wonderful love, thoust honor me! Thoust givist joy, that as a man, cannot be peaked! As a man, humbles me. I pray that I am worthy of such a gift.

My heart is saddened by the wait that I must endure, to see thee, to hold thee, to look into thine eyes to see the truth that thou hast written of.

I shall close the distance that parts us from our embraces on the next Monday that arrives. It shall seem like an eternity,

As now and forever, I shall be your humble servant; Loving thee until time itself dies.

I'm Tony's grandson,
I was about twenty five when
He told me his life in Vaudeville,
And his appearance on Milton Berle's
Show.
He passed away quietly two weeks ago.
I found him laying next to his cane,
A picture of my grandmother was clenched
In his hand.
It was taken when she was a show
Girl in London.
He had built a small mantle for
The broken piece of crystal.
After calling the ambulance, I
Took the piece of crystal and
Brought to my mother.
She understood as soon as she saw it.

She called George. He called Mary.

Gracie died in 1964.
Granddad and Grandmother,
Along with Benny's, grieved with
George over his loss.

Jack died in 1974, Mary could not stop
Thanking Geogre and my grandfather for
Their support.

My grandmother passed away in 1966.
George, Mary and Jack, all grieved for
My granddad's loss.
George, still grieved for Gracie,
As he did until he passed away at
The age of a hundred, almost forty
Years later.

Mary, which my mother, myself along
With George, understood, could not bear
Seeing another old friend pass.
She sent her respects and utmost love.

George and I sat in a corner away
From all the mourners, that gathered
At my mother's house after the funeral.
He did greet Berle, though.

Later, when we alone again,
George talked of Gracie.
A tear welled in his eye.
I thought I saw the same on
My grandfathers face.

Al Jolson fought his way into
The dressing room of the fallen
Plate Spinner; he couldn't
Believe what he had just seen.
Jolson wished him well, and went
On stage early and told the audience
What the doctor told Anthony.
He's be all right, except he would
Need a cane to help him walk.

Berle was livid! A plate spinner stolen
The show, HIS SHOW! A filler act, an obscure
Nobody! The Texaco Service Men were called
On early; The studio audience needed
To be calmed down.
The people in their homes, at bars, or
Where ever they were watching, were
So excited that they did not hear
Uncle Miltie say good night!

To Gracie and George's insistence
He picked up Lily and the kids
And went to N.Y. anyway.
The Saturday night that was he
To retire, George introduced him
On stage, the audience gave
A warm and understanding ovation.

Berle threw a fit, with the script girl
Catching the brunt of it.
She finally had enough and sent
A few to Berle; including
Where he can stick the LIT end of
His cigar.
He pushed people out of his way
To get to his office, where,
As legend has it, he could be heard
On the floor below his office.

When he, Lily and the kids
Were back at home, he took the
Box of plates and stuck them
In the attic, out of sight,
So he would not have them to remind
Him of the reason they were bought.

His assistant helped him pack
The crystal plates. Berle didn't
speak to either one of them.
As he walked out of the studio,
He feels a twinge in his arm.
He drops the box, shattering it's contents.

Charlie Chaplain, now staring in movies,
Hears of his accident,and persuades
Him to move the family out to California.
Lily's all for it, she'll be
Closer to Gracie and Mary.
He becomes a consultant for stuntmen.
Bob Hope asked him to find a
Piece of property for him and his
Wife Deloris. He does and finds out
That stars that were to busy to search
Themselves for property, wanted this services.
Clark Gable, Jimmy Stewart were two
Of many satisfied customes.

Lily met him at the hospital, where
The doctor informed them he had a
Mild heart attack, and with
Rest he'll be fine.
That night he wanted to make love
With Lily, it took all her humor and love
To convince him otherwise.
The following morning, with gloves
On, he sifted through the box
Of broken crystal until he found the
One piece he was looking for.
Love Lily
Gracie and George
Mary and Jack.

His mind is clear, he wonders if
The Burn's are watching, or the Benny's.
He knows Lily's watching, he feels her
Near him, in his mind, she's the one
Handing him the plates, and
Smiling at him as he grabs them.
He sees the first plate start to wobble,
He jumbs back to it.
A bell rings in the background,
Indicating time to wrap up his act.

It took the audience a moment to realize
This was not part of the act, as he
Lay wreathing on the floor while holding
his left leg, tears streaming down his face.
The crowds on it's feet as a doctor,
Pushes his was though the crowd.
The doc looks probes around with
His fingers, causing more pain.
Stage hands carefully lift him to
His dressing room, where the Doctor
Does a more thorough exam.

He gives the first plate a quick
Twitch, keeping it on course.
He goes to second plate, snatches,
Hands it to the assistant, he does
This all the way down the line,
Including the fifteenth.
He turns to the first, then as
If on cue, it starts to wobble again.
America gasps as they helplessly
Watch the last plate topple
From it's perch.
He leaps, one more time, lands
On his knees, slides and stops
Precisely in front of the falling disc,
Catching it before it hits the ground!

He takes a deep breath,
Grabs a plate from his
Assistant,runs to the
First pole, with a twist
Of the wrist, starts the first
Plate spinning,
He does this this to
Second, then the third,
Telling jokes, sidestepping,
Sometimes tumbling or
Leaping to the next plate,
Until he reaches the fifteenth,
Then he grabs his cane,
Runs, then leaps, thrusting his
Cane forward, hitting his mark;
Cane upright in it's wooden sheath,
Before landing on his toes.

That Saturday night, the Ohio
Was packed; standing room only.
Al Jolson was the main act.
So he never knew it was him they
Came to see or if it was Jolson.
He paced nervously, something
He never does; he feels there's
There is a unseen problem somewhere.
He tries to shake the feeling off,
It lingers until the M.C. announces his name.
With vigor he sidesteps to his table.

The studio audience is their feet as the
Plates continue spinning, and his
Movements never stop.
He has no idea how he's able to
Keep up the pace, nor does he care.
He feels good, better than
When he honed his act, or
When he was in his prime.

He reaches the table, bows,
The cue for the orchestra to
Start playing: he grabs the
Plate from his assistant,
Dashes for the first pole;
Not seeing the rag that
Some stage hand had carelessly dropped.
With plate in hand, his mind
On the target, he high steps to
His mark.
His Right foot comes down on the rag.
He tries to catch his balance, reaches
For the table, misses, it's then
He hears the pop that
Sounds like a shot gun, next to his ear.

Burns wired him on that next
Tuesday, stating if he is
Going to retire, The Palace,
In N.Y.C. wants him to do
His final show there.
He stared at the telegram in
Disblief; The Palace?
With George and Gracie?
The premier show case for
Vaudeville with his best friends?
There was no heasitation, he ran
To the Western Union Telegraph Station,
Where he wired Burns
"I will be there! Will Jack and Mary?"

He waits for a few seconds so
The cameraman can retreat to his
Vantage spot to get the angle he
Needs to capture the whole table and stage.
There's only heart beats time before
Tony the Wonder will wow America!


His heart was beating as
If he were waiting to go on stage.
He pays the clerk a nickel, goes
To the public phone, works the hand crank,
Recites the number to the operater.
The phone rings four times, then the
Most beautiful sound in the world
Encompasses his being; that
Sweet Britsh accent of his beloved Lily.
"It's me Lily," He says,
She can tell by the tone of his
Voice she's going to love
What he's about to say.
"Hi sweetheart," she says.
"I'll be home on Wednesday. I'm retiring
Saturday at the Palace!"


He hands the plate over to his assistant
Takes off his white gloves, and tosses them.
His original idea was lust to run
To the short pole and just stick the
Cane in the hollow shaft.
It's then that Anthony the Wonder, old man,
Transformed to Anthony the Wonder, of
Vaudeville days!

Then he went to the management
Of the Ohio Theater, where he
was playing, and told them
That his last performance would be Sunday.
The Ohio Jumped on the idea.
New posters were quickly printed,
And slapped all over town.
All declaring that every one must
See Anthony the Wonder before
His final engagement at The Palace.

Twenty seconds, that same person yells.
The cigarette has been snuffed.
He Puts on his white gloves.
His plates are all laid out, ready
For the girl to hand them to him.
He wishes it was Lily, but she
Declined, all those people watching,
After so many years off stage, she
Was afraid of dropping them.

They pick up the plates, all six friends.
When Gracie sees the plates, she
Looked at George and asked him if
She could have a set with " Gracie's
Plates" painted in gold letters.
Geogre just puffed on his cigar.
Three days later Gracie, finds in her dressing room,
A box with a set of crystal plates
With "Gracie's Plates" in gold leaf!

The table is where he
Needs it. Milt is getting ready, having
Fresh makeup put on, while shouting
Obsenities at some poor script girl.
He's been told is the third one this month.
"Ten seconds" comes the cry.
He closes his eyes. Inhales deeply..

He married Lily before the
Next week ended. She was going
To be his wife, no matter how much
Her family disapproved.
She toured with him for a year,
As his pretty assistant; smiling
And handing him plates.
As With many touring wives,
She had a baby, a girl.
Lily toured with him for another
Two years, then came a son.
She stopped touring.


The poor script girl is now crying,
Berle pushes the make up artist.
He is now ready, the snarl has
Been replaced by the friendly
Face America grown to trust.

He was in early thirties when
The troubles began; first his knees,
Then his back, finally his hands started to
Cramp, so severely he couldn't hardly
Grab the plates from his assistant.
That's when he wired Burns in New York City.
Burns wired back saying he was sorry to hear it,
And he would get back to him.

"OK kiddies" Berle announces, "it's time
For Anthony the Wonder!" The camera
Cuts to the right, where he sidesteps
Quickly to the left, camera following,
To the center of the table.
He picks up a plate and
Triumphantly holds it over his
Head , so all can see " Break a leg, Not a plate.",
Across the top rim. Through
The center " Anthony the Wonder"
And on the bottom, Love Lily,
Gracie and George, Mary and Jack.

That day turned out to
Be one of fate, George and
Jack, along with Gracie and Mary,
Were the best of friends, already.
As he found their pretty tour guide,
Lily,captivating; George wouldn't
Stop razzing Jack, and
in turn, Jack loved it!

As they strolled past
The shops of London, the sound
Of George's voice and the
Laughter that followed, soon
Turned to whisper, hardly
Heard to him at all.
All he could hear was the sweetness
Of that wonderful British accent.

He stands behind the table, its
Almost time to exit the stage,
And return seconds later, when
Uncle Miltie intoduces him,
After the brief intermission.
'Thirty seconds" someone yells.
He takes an extra hard pull
On his cigarette and slowly exhales.
He exits the stage, just beyond
The eyes of the huge, intimating camera.

Burns and company, do not
Notice that he and Lily,
Have fallen behind. Lily, pulls on his
Arm, that she now has tucked under
His, each sharing their warmth
To block the the coolness of the weather.

In the shop window, were the plates.
The shop keeper had them displayed
So the gold trim sparkled in the light.
" There's some plates you won't spin!"
Laughing as she says it, filling his ear
Music from heaven.
"They would make one hell of a final show!"
He torts back. " Yeah it would."
He hears from behind him.
Before he realized what had transpired,
His five friends talked him into buying
Fifteen of them. Burns and Benny
Lending him the difference he didn't have.
Lily grabs a piece of paper from her
Purse and asks the clerk to borrow a pencil.
" Could you paint this on them? In gold?" she asks.
" Three days is as soon it can be done."
Lily nods in approval.
He taunts her to reveal what she sketched.
" You'll see." is the only answer she gave.
Three days later the plates were finished.
But that day, a friendship of six developed;
A love of two, spawned, friends and love lasting
A lifetime.