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You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave... Welcome to CS

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The Silk Road

Once upon a time there was a self-proclaimed holy man named Abijah. He had been inculcated into a dangerous cult and once rescued by 14 of his sons, was deprogrammed and then forced to take the only job available in the village, selling tampoons along the Silk Road.

He was not a modest man, but he felt he was honest and hardworking. He had been the husband of 6 wives, all of whom decided his snoring could no longer be tolerated, so they packed his bags and sent him on his lonesome way.

Now, a princess named Sneakumella had ordered a large quantity of these fine tampoons that were Abijah's stock and trade. She had been waiting for months to receive them. She felt that it was high time she stopped wearing the cumbersome diaper type cloths, which were proving to be rather inadequate during that sensitive time of the month, and to give the miracle tampoons a try.

Lonesome Abijah made his way slowly to the princess's palace with her order. He was very much focused on finding at least two new wives by the end of the week, so he was less attentive to his business than he ought have been . Just a few miles from the palace, Abijah came across some bitter sweet berries. They were seductive to all of his senses and he felt he could not go on without collecting some of their juice. What could he use to collect this bitter sweet tonic? Ah! The tampoons of course.

As he squeezed the juice from the berries with his bare hands, he sopped it up with the tampoons. He put them in a large jar and secured the lid.

Eventually he reached the palace. With a deep bow he presented the princess with half of her order.

"Where is the rest of my order???" She demanded. "I will have the guards arrest you for stealing and you will be hung by morning, Sir!!"

Abijah, wanting to keep his head and also hoping to gain favor with the princess, perhaps even making her his wife, presented her with the jar of juicy tampoons.

Well, the princess was aghast! It looked as if Abijah was trying to get away with selling her used tampoons!! She was livid. She ordered her guards to take him away and to hang him at dawn.

And that is how the saying, "the bitter juice of one berry may be more than enough to cause the end of Abijah" came to be.

You have been warned. The End.
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Once Upon A Time

There was a sad and lonely little troll. He lived under a remote bridge in the land of Nod.

Everyone knew he was a troll, except for him. He thought he was a knight in shining armor. Other trolls would attempt to get to know him, but he would threaten them with his imaginary sword and yell at them "Be gone, unthightly Troll!"

Each day, one or two passers by would try to cross his bridge. He would lisp, "Fee Fi Fo Fum, who attempths to croth my bridge?? I will eat you alive, inthignificant human!"

Many of the would be bridge crossers would back away from the troll in fear. They didn't want to mess with him, even if all he could do was give them a good gumming.

One day a fiery witch came to the bridge. The troll stepped out menacingly, waving his invisible sword. "Be gone from my bridge, little witch! I will thtew you alive!"

The witch looked amused at the poor troll. She approached him gently and said, "Poor little troll, who has told you that you are a white knight? You are a sad and lonely little troll. But with the wave of my magic wand and with the help of my magic mirror, I will help you to see the truth."

She held up the mirror and waved her wand and for the first time, the troll saw himself as he really was. He dropped to his boney little knees and began to weep.

The witch patted him on the head and said, "it will be alright, little troll. All it will take is a few years of psychotherapy. Your bitterness will fade and as it does you will transform into the knight you wish you could be."

With that, the witch crossed the bridge,unimpeded, leaving the little troll to his breakthrough as she carried on to her fabulous costume ball.

The End
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Gypsy the magnificent....

I shall now read an oracle card for Freehand...

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To Catch A Kitty

Here is a story about three stalwart cat burglars. One was a real robber, however he included burglaries in his resume as he wanted to be considered a well rounded thief. He was bent on collecting as many of the cutest little pu**y cats as he possibly could in his life. He was also a minstrel of sorts and liked to go by the name of Bandman.

His partner in crime was a cheery sort. He was fond of having anything powerful between his thighs. He liked to hear the roar of the engine and feel its vibration caressing his family jewels. He fancied himself a rogue and a rebel and he called himself Harley.

Together they spent many months searching for the perfect little pu**y cats. They had some trouble, as kitties can be so good at hiding and are often afraid of strangers. The fact that Bandman liked to sing and play his guitar didn't seem to entice the little critters from their hiding places. It seemed as soon as Bandman would catch sight of a kitty he'd make a sudden jerking movement to catch it and it would run and hide, always in a spot he could not quite reach. Harley was just loud with that machine of his. He was a mover and a shaker. He was in charge of catching the kitties and examining them to make sure the "carpet matched the drapes" so to speak. Only the most perfect kitties would do for the collection, but those kitties seemed to easily evade his efforts to snag them as well.

One day, a wise Spaniard crossed Bandman and Harley's path. He was well versed in catching kitties and indeed had made many a map of all their favorite hiding places. He was known to have a plentiful supply of catnip on hand which never failed to lure them out. He had more finesse and stealth when it came to catching the pretty kitties than did his two cohorts. He gave invaluable advice to Bandman and Harley about how best to bag the babes.

Unfortunately, Bandman and Harley paid no heed to the advice of the Spaniard. They were sure their methods worked better and they proceeded to compete with the Spaniard for kitty attention as best they could.

As you have probably already guessed, the Spaniard was adored by the pu**y cats and poor Bandman and Harley were left with empty bags. All they could do was sit on the couch together and watch National Geographic....The Big Cats episode and wish for better days.
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Fun Fun!

I have found a website that takes your Astrological sun sign and combines it with your Chinese Zodiac sign. It's fascinating. I'm a wolf. grin

"Like their animal namesake, those born under the sign of the Wolf are passionate, determined, and never back down from a fight. Though generally mild mannered and even easy-going (when things are going their way), members of this sign are very protective of themselves and the ones they love, and will not let anyone intimidate or coerce them. They are generous, warm-hearted, and perhaps a bit stubborn. Though they hold their friends and family very dear, Wolves also have an independent nature that compels them to seek their own path in life.

Wolves simultaneously seek security and adventure - two things that don’t tend to coexist very well. That said, their determination to live their lives exactly how they desire makes having both a possibility. They simply don’t accept limitations when it comes to something they are passionate about and would rather fight than run from a challenge.

As strong as they seem, those born under this sign are easily hurt emotionally. They secretly care deeply about how others perceive them and can be sensitive to even the smallest insult. Should they have a falling out with someone, they will most likely need time alone to let the wound heal. Wolves like to believe that everyone respects them as much as they want to be respected and can’t stand to be derided or treated poorly by anyone."

Pretty accurate! Wonder what you all are....

wave
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Thought for the day...

"s*xual energy is a wastage if it only remains confined to sex, but it becomes a great blessing if it starts transforming its quality: sex not for sex’ sake — use sex as a communion of love. Use sex as a meeting of two souls, not only of two bodies. Use sex as a meditative dance of two persons’ energies. And the dance is far richer whe...n man and woman are dancing together — and sex is the ultimate in dance: two energies meeting, merging, dancing, rejoicing.

But use it as a stepping-stone, as a jumping-board. And when you reach the climax of your sex o*gasm, become aware of what is happening, and you will be surprised — time has disappeared, mind has disappeared, ego has disappeared. For a moment there is utter silence. This silence is the real thing!"

osho

What say you?
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Bob Ross is on! :)

I love that Bob Ross is streaming on one of the video streaming deals. He was just the most soothing and uplifting guy. We need more Bobs in this world. Also...I'm completely jealous of his prowess in mixing paint colors. smitten smitten

Bob Ross quotes:

“There’s nothing wrong with having a tree as a friend.”
“We don’t make mistakes. We just have happy accidents.”
“I think there’s an artist hidden at the bottom of every single one of us.”
“You too can paint almighty pictures.”
“No pressure. Just relax and watch it happen.”
“Don’t forget to make all these little things individuals — all of them special in their own way.”
“Find freedom on this canvas.”
“It’s so important to do something every day that will make you happy.”
“Talent is a pursued interest. Anything that you’re willing to practice, you can do.”
“Make love to the canvas.”
“ will bring a lot of good thoughts to your heart.”
“We artists are a different breed of people. We’re a happy bunch.”
“We want happy paintings. Happy paintings. If you want sad things, watch the news.”
“That’s a crooked tree. We’ll send him to Washington.”
“Every day is a good day when you paint.”
“I think each of us, sometime in our life, has wanted to paint a picture.”
“We tell people sometimes: We’re like drug dealers, come into town and get everybody absolutely addicted to painting. It doesn’t take much to get you addicted.”
“They say everything looks better with odd numbers of things. But sometimes I put even numbers — just to upset the critics.”
“Gotta give him a friend. Like I always say, ‘Everyone needs a friend.’”
“See how it fades right into nothing. That’s just what you’re looking for.”
“If I paint something, I don’t want to have to explain what it is.”
“Water’s like me. It’s lazy. Boy, it always looks for the easiest way to do things.”
“In painting, you have unlimited power. You have the ability to move mountains. You can bend rivers. But when I get home, the only thing I have power over is the garbage.”
“Don’t forget to tell these special people in your life just how special they are to you.”
“Didn’t you know you had that much power? You can move mountains. You can do anything.”
“I like to beat the brush.”
“Just let go — and fall like a little waterfall.”
“Talk to the tree, make friends with it.”
“I taught my son to paint mountains like these, and guess what? Now he paints the best darn mountains in the industry.”
“I really believe that if you practice enough you could paint the ‘Mona Lisa’ with a two-inch brush.”
“Be so very light. Be a gentle whisper.”
“Use absolutely no pressure. Just like an angel’s wing.”
“You need the dark in order to show the light.”
“You can do anything you want to do. This is your world.”
“You have to allow the paint to break to make it beautiful.”
“However you think it should be, that’s exactly how it should be.”
“In nature, dead trees are just as normal as live trees.”
“You can have anything you want in the world — once you help everyone around you get what they want.”
“If you do too much, it’s going to lose its effectiveness.”
“This is happy place; little squirrels live here and play.”
“That’s where the crows will sit. But we’ll have to put an elevator to put them up there because they can’t fly, but they don’t know that, so they still try.”
“Remember how free clouds are. They just lay around in the sky all day long.”
“We don’t really know where this goes — and I’m not sure we really care.”
“If we’re going to have animals around we all have to be concerned about them and take care of them.”
“You can do anything here — the only prerequisite is that it makes you happy.”
“Go out on a limb — that’s where the fruit is.”
“Isn’t it fantastic that you can change your mind and create all these happy things?”
“Anytime you learn, you gain.”
“It’s life. It’s interesting. It’s fun.”
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Since the last time..

It's been awhile since I logged into CS. I remember quite a few people (fondly I might add) hug

There are some folks I hadn't met until now and I just want to say, I'm so excited that there are so many intelligent, sassy, witty, fun-loving women in the blogs. The men are fun too, but they are scaring me a little. lol

Anyway, thanks for the laughs and for inviting me into your domain so readily. teddybear
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