Before I die, I'd confess to committing all the unsolved rapes and murders I could find out about. It would save money by freeing up police resources, and I'd get to be on all the TV news. So nobody turns up to my funeral, its hardly going to bother me is it...
Middle Eastern folks must like conflict, because none of them do anything to stop it. They get into power, and do exactly the same bad things the previous guys did. They can never be like the Germans or Japanese (to a lesser extent), and admit they did the wrong thing. And so it will continue long after we are all gone.
We (the rest of the world) can only do so much, and unfortunately getting involved means bombing and killing. There's no point just turning up in a football jersey with a soccer ball.
The only 2 alternatives I can see are- Leave them to it, nobody goes in nobody goes out... Set a date for total and complete annihilation by nuclear weapons, if they cant make some kind of agreement amongst themselves.
One day, aliens came to planet Earth to do some investigating. They found an Aboriginal man sitting on a rock playing the didgeridoo BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR... So the aliens decided to remove some of his brain with a laser and see what happens, zzzzzap! there goes half his brain but it made little difference BRRRRRRRRRRR... the didgeridoo noise continued. So they figured they'd try halving it again...BRRRRRRR... it continued with no difference. So finally they zapped the quarter into an eighth, and finally the man put the didgeridoo down and stood up... KAMATEH KAMATEH KAORA KAORA!!!
There was a seal and a penguin, driving home after doing their shopping. Oil started leaking onto the road and shortly after the car conked out. They decided the seal would wait in the car and the penguin would walk to the garage for help. Since it was a hot day, the penguin took the ice cream from their shopping and started eating it along the way. By the time he got there, he had melted ice cream all over his face. The mechanic saw the trail of oil on the road and said- It looks like you've blown a seal. The penguin said no, we're just friends...
See, everybody knows exactly what they'd do if they won ten million bucks, but what would you do if you were at the library and needed to let out a fart- and couldn't pull up in time, just as a large group of Jesuit priests came in, as well as a guided tour by visiting dignitaries, and a busload of schoolkids arrived?
Sounds like you're all a bit too selective with your daydreams to me, you lot need to get real and face the facts.
One day I'll drink half a carton of beer, then ring them all up and ask what they did with my taddies and if they have souls. My guess, they'll call me an ar-soul.
The other thing, I'm quite active in trying to win lotto. I get more than a basic ticket, and since I'm registered I dont even bother checking the numbers- it just turns up in the mail a few months later. My rough estimate is that I get about half back in winnings so far.
Out of that million, maybe 300 000 would actually go to where its needed. And I imagine you'd get more than one pestering phone call from all the other charities, as the first thing they do when they find a mark is to sell that personal information to other charities.
I cover my bases. I tell my friends that if I win the big one I'll keep quiet about it, anybody I plan on giving some money to- I'll ask them to lend me some money, and then decide if they're a worthy recipient after that. I'll basically spend or invest the lot before telling anybody, so I dont have to decline people's requests.
I've known 3 people who won it- One became even wealthier but terribly paranoid, one momentarily became even wealthier before discovering heroin, and the one that kept it quiet did alright out of it.
pat8lanips Forum Posts (6,372)
RE: Whatever Your Taste In Music!!