The inadequate quest of the hurting woman.

If a woman did not receive the worth of her femininity. Which her father and mother should have given to her. This hurting confused woman will seek to gain that validation from a man. The masculinty-real or pseudo- entices and appeases a woman. Women will tend to seek that masculinty that is similiar to her father to gain the validation that she was deprived of. I believe that God instilled this tendency within the woman (also man) so that way she will seek validation from her Heaavenly Father and her father. However, God intended for men/women to follow his laws and to be Godly people. He sent Jesus to be the walking Torah reavealing the very character and heart of God, and tells us to mimic him. We are designed to operate like that for peace in our life. That is the only way to have true
peace in our life. However, many men are far from the intended purpose. So this innate tendency gets perverted by the womans upraising. Thus resulting in the women seeking these wrong kind of men.
Sadly- so many "men" are caught in the game (Inspired by the devil) of attempting to prove they are "men' by all sorts of means. The woman is not always intellectually perceiving this. She has a quest of her own. So she neglects the fact that the man she has been drawn to is really emotionally a child. However, the appearance that she "sees" seems that of a strong man. This wild masculine characteristic becomes suitable. Even though the masculinity has no roots; nor foundation.
As the relationship blossoms ('continues' is a better choice of words in place of 'blossoms'). Something happens on the womans behalf. She needs her femininity assured. She needs her worth assured. In a way that she needed God and her father ( who should have been a Godly man imitating Christ). Really now she needs a Godly, validated confident man to do this vilidation. Odds are that her father was not assured in his worth; and masculinty. Because so many people do not draw near to God as he asks through out the Bible. So he could never institute in her a God intended healthy worth because he too was distracted by his own problems and insecurites so he couldn't worry about his kids worth and assurance of it, properly.
When the man that she has involved herself with does not supply her wiuth a sense of worth- that which she was deprived of since a child- she will begin to exhibit behaviors that will demand his attention, masculinity, and his need for her. She will test him, provoke him; for in doing so he awakens in a way that she believes will vaildate her. She will be overtaken by masochism or possesivness. Many times this attempt of the woman to provoke the mans masculinty- does not fulfill her. Yes, momentarily it gives her a pseudo sense of worth. However, this deteriorates. It once again becomes vitiated (devalued) by her internal struggle of childhood neglect. Many times the hurting unsure woman increases the pressure of the provocation of the mans masculinty. The insecure man inflicts pain physically and emotionally on the woman to surge his power.To feel superior by making her inferior. She hurts, goes through a series of emotional pains. She threatens to leave him. This is unacceptable for the insecure man because she gives him a pseudo-sense of worth and masculinity in his attempts to prove it to himself and her. What then happens in many instances; the man will, one, threaten her with his masculinty (strength). He becomes (in a twisted way) a protectorate, which offers her a sense of feeling protected, sheltered; by being faught for by his masculinity. Another conflict that transpires internally within the woman. Its when th man inflicts pain on the woman:physically and/or emotionally. She threatens to leave. The man can't lose apart of his masculinity enhancer. He displays a humble stature (which for many is an insult on his masculinity because some men view humility as weak and feminine) and begs her to stay. He expresses his guilt, his sorrow, he expresses his wrongness, his ignorance. He expresses his love, value and need for her femininity. The woman is filled with a sense of worth and need.
Since her father did not give her an adequate sense of worth. She pursues it via unhealthy means. In this moment she also feels morally superior because she has a rare power. She gets her revenge on the man- also at the characteristic of her fathers' masculinty- by watching him become inferior to her. As he begs for her love, her
forgiveness; her attention. All of these emotions give her a sense of worth. One that inevitably crumbles again and again. She forgives the man as best as she can. He in turn continues as if he is truly happy. However, for many, he is internally enraged that he had to herald such inferiority to a woman. The same which he uses as a tool to give him a sense of secured worth and masculinty.
Please understand that we are designed to live for God and the way that he teaches for us to live in his Word. If everybody on earth were living according to Gods original plan. There would not be any of these issues in the world!! Seek God!!!

Comments (2)

Narcissistic parenting. What an interesting concept. I will look for these videos. Again I really appreciate you reading this and your compliments. You have made my day better.
This is a very well written & deeply insightful article. There is a great series of vids on UTube that I've been studying about narcissism, which coincides with the main issues of this article. THe vids also address the effects of narcissistic parenting, which leads the victims to eventually end up in abusive relationships.

If people would put God at the centre of their relationships instead of themselves, there would be no more broken hearts or marriages.
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