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Understanding Men

Understanding Men

If this was titled "Understanding Women" it would be the size of a novel and probably not have an actual ending. But it's not about women, it's about men and that makes this is an article and not a book.

Men are basic creatures. They have brains, but probably really don't need them since most of men's actions are instinct based. For arguments sake, the size of a man's brain and that of a woman's is about the same. Men just use theirs differently and don't work them as hard.

Dining pleasures:

Let's look at the eating habits of men. Women consider paper plates as being casual, something used when you've been overworked and don't feel like doing dishes after dinner. Men never feel like doing dishes after eating, so they skip the middle man when it comes to dinnerware. Casual dining is eating out of the can. Paper plates are used when company comes over.

Arguments:

The settling of disputes between men is relatively easy. Beat each other up, shake hands, then get on with whatever you're doing and never give another thought to what the issue was really all about in the first place. There are no grudges and the rules are quite simple: You never fight during a sporting event, although spats during intermission are acceptable, but never while the teams are actively playing.

Vehicles - Cars, boats, trains and planes:

- Cars are an absolute necessity to men, but only if they can't afford a truck. The bigger the engine the better, but the exterior body comes second to the sound system.

- Boats are a luxury and if men get one, it has to have a motor. The size of the boat really doesn't matter, but the size of the motor does.

- Trains. There's really not much to be said about this. Every man's dream is to run one of those monster locomotives. It is raw power and tons of steel. Who could want more?

- All men would like to have a plane just for the speed, but since you can't run them without exhausts most of the fun is missed. Replace plane for monster truck on the wish list.

Protecting his manhood:

It's all about hands in the pants and the explanation for this should be obvious. Unlike women, men's luggage hangs and his business was never meant to be supported by the elastic of tight fitting underwear. Ergo – the hand must protect the wares and give some breathing room to his most prized possessions.

Hunting and fishing:

Nothing can be more basic than these activities. It's a natural instinct for men to bring home the 'meat'. Guns – big, loud guns. Bigger is better, but not so big that men can't handle them with one hand while chugging a beer with the other. Of course, that's illegal and not done ... in most states anyway.

Women in the workplace:

Do men dislike this? Of course they do! What man wouldn't be upset when his job is, and always has been, to provide the meat on the table and then find that his woman can actually do it better than he can?

A man's approach to life is quite simplistic. His thought processes are basic and he rarely over-thinks a situation. Recognize this and it's not so difficult to understand men.

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