tMickeyMann Blog

S E X on the First Date

There are as many answers for this as there are factors determining the result.

I am a man. A man that has had no s*xual or intimate contact in years.
I was tested 8 months after my last s*xual encounter and I know I have no STIs. I want to remain in that condition. I already raised a family and I am not looking to raise another.
I know that sex feels great and want it again.

I am looking for a relationship with the right woman that includes sex but is not founded on sex. There are many things that are important to me, sex being one, but a major one.

On the first date, I know it can get really hot, burning hot. Unlike those men in the movies, I am not one to try to trick a woman into having sex with me. I could, but I don't. It is always up to the woman to determine how far it goes. If I don't want it - I will stop it, just as I would expect her to do.

At my age, sex is two consenting adults enjoying what feels good. It is not punishment or revenge. It is not a triumph or a tally mark. When I am with a woman that is wanting sex with me and I feel the same it is dishonest to her, and myself, if we do not act on our desires.

By the time sex is in the question on the first date there had to have been some kind of compatibility first. If that date leads to sex which leads to a second date the sex was also a compatibility factor in that relationship.

People change after sex. I have seen it. I am looking for compatibility after the sex. Once those urges are sated, do you still want to be with each other. Hold them, hear them talk and be intimate. Sex on the first date can tell much about the other person.

On the other hand, not having sex on the first date is good too. If you are not sure your date is being honest with you it could lead to more trouble than it is worth. If there is no connection between the two of you and the intimacy is being pushed, the sex probably means nothing to them.

Then there is the delusion that religion or morality keeps you from enjoying yourself. Someone that 'blames' "the way they were brought up" as a reason for not being an adult and making their own decisions will probably have other factors in their lives that they 'blame' instead of making their own decisions and knowing their own desires.

No sex on the first date says "I don't trust you with my desires" when that date gets hot. If it gets hot and they say "Not yet" and set up a second date it might be because they are not sure of something. If there is going to be no sex on the first date, do not let the encounter get intimate or hot.

The whole reason people date is to determine if the other is compatible with their desires. You are looking for someone to be intimate with, sex is but one form of intimacy. Before you agree to date someone your first instinct is to find someone that you would love to have sex with. If they repulse you when you look at them you will not go on a date with them. Unless you are looking for something else. Money, mannerisms or social status...etc. There is nothing wrong with dating for those reasons as long as you are honest about it and both of you agree on it. After all, we are adults.

If I date a woman and I find her attractive and she also finds me attractive and we want sex on the first date, why should either of us not be honest?

Could I have meaningless sex on the first date?
Sure, it feels good. If she can convince me that she is clean, free of blood-borne pathogens, not insane and wants me too.

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Jan 2017
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On Judging and Being Judged

The blanket statement is that all people are judging and being judged everytime they encounter someone else.

The saying that "I don't judge" or "I Won't Judge You" is a lie whether you believe it or not.

When we encounter someone we assess them to determine if we want those people in our lives. For some people, that number turns out to be many, for others it is few.

Your judgements are based on how you perceive them. If you never judge anyone you would have everyone you meet fully in your lives. You would have no locks on anything, your home would be open to them anytime, even while you are sleeping. But that is not true, is it. Why?
Because you make judgements on everyone you meet. Not to, would be insane.

Understanding that you judge everyone you meet, it is important to realize that everyone you meet also judges you. They may judge you under different standards but they do judge you.

Judgements can be both positive and negative. I like this about this person but I don't like that. You make a judgement based on how you feel about that person. Sometimes without knowing all there is to know about them.

The people we surround ourselves with are usually people we have judged positively. There are different levels of positive judgement for different people. Those judgements are sometimes wrong. Experience and wisdom gained from interacting with different people cause us to make judgements based on traits we associate with positive or negative experiences.

If your past experiences with say, Indians or Muslims or Christians has resulted too many negative experiences we tend to group them in a poor judgement. At that point we tend to have a negative reaction to all traits demonstrated.

Sometimes that negative outlook for a type is warranted. The drug addict that steals from you to support their habit. You don't trust them with your stuff. You lock your doors and hide your belongings.
The compulsive liar is another. You do not believe them and suspect their every word.
On the other hand. We learn that some types are worthy of our trust. They hold their word and demonstrate their integrity with actions.

Personally, I don't mind being judged. I have integrity and I am trustworthy. I understand that others may judge me on other qualities as well. Sometimes I feel I get judged poorly by others because I failed to properly demonstrate the qualities they were looking for. I can accept that. I can only be me.

We also tend to make judgements on people we meet from other people's experiences. Our current society bombards us with criteria to use to make judgements. You may never have experienced domestic violence but someone that has a record of it will be judged by you based on someone else's experience. You don't invite a suspected murderer into your life do you (well, most of us don't).

You can never not be judged by others and you will always judge others. All you can do is be yourself and understand yourself.

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Jan 2017
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Thoughts about Marriage

Marriage, in most cases, is a cultural and social situation two or more people adopt to support a family structure or gain social acceptance.

There are cultures that predetermine whom you will marry from a very young age and cultures that make no such plans.

There are cultures that require you to be monogamous and others that rely on polygamy. There are a wide range of sub-cultural deviations as well.

As animals (yes we are animals, Omnivores to be more accurate) our defining goal in life is to reproduce to create a genetic offspring.
Before social structures, we reproduced with any fertile human being of the opposite gender. Our need to propagate our genetic line mandated that we assure our offspring's safety and well-being until they reached reproductive maturity. As society gained strength the sure fire way to do this was to marry or exclusively remain with your reproductive mate. Society recognized the effectiveness of this trend and it gained popularity.

Many marriages are not done because of love.

Love is one reason for marriage when your reproductive drive has been fulfilled. It is a way to have intimacy with the partner of your choice. As our longevity extends past our reproductive prime we marry for reasons other than rearing our offspring.

At some point in the future; when our lifespans are greatly extended; reproductive abilities no longer require mating and offspring are nurtured by society there may be a trend of no marriage or marriage by time contract. If we live to 300 years, Marriage will have little motivation other than love.

Our lifespans worldwide are currently 83.7 years at max for both sexes.
This is well past our s*xual prime and child-bearing ability.
Thus, Marriage is starting to lose its significance already.

Most willing marriages are a contract between two or more people. Most are monogamous and based on religious belief systems and cultural stipulations or society standards. This is why "official" marriages are performed by a religious or state entity. The contract is written and sanctioned as a proof of commitment and dedication by all parties involved. To end such a marriage requires that "official" contract to be voided.

The commitment and dedication to the other(s) is the personal aspect of marriage. It is based on mutual agreement to honestly hold your word and intent.
Over time, changes in our priorities can change how we feel about the one we dedicated/pledged ourselves to. We are faced with either embracing those changes or removing those changes from our lives.

The marriage that thrives is composed of personalities that accept those changes and tolerates them. It happens all the time.

The marriage that continues past that acceptance level on anyone's part is usually filled with misery and despair. Those marriages do not thrive and are often ended in some hostile way.

Before entering into a marriage, all parties involved must know their own intention and understand the level of their commitment to the other(s) and believe their partner(s) pledge to that same commitment.

The contract of marriage, as currently socially accepted where I live, is for the duration of life. It is assumed that it is based on love.
When it is not based on love the contract needs an agreed upon expiration.

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Jan 2017
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What Do you Look at First when Considering a Match?

Here is a convertaion I had recently on a similar question.

One of the respondents said:

"~is a complex process you're not really aware of.
Body ratios, scent, body language/indirect communication.
~After your brain does a bunch of work it pokes you with emotions and feelings, and then your conscious decision making self fixates on something your experience has associated most closely with those emotions and feelings filtered through the bias of your mood and life situation.
~Some people choose legs and feet, shoes, to look down, for things like to submit and look for someone to be dominant.
~Some people choose butt, wallet, waist, and hips, for things like seeing someone as breeding stock on some level.
~Some people choose belly, chest, or breasts, for things like succor or to objectify and dominate.
~Some people choose neck, face, or eyes, due to insecurity and vanity, for things like needing immediate mutual feedback for their feelings, to gain external validation that what they're feeling or thinking is okay.
~Focusing on any single body part isn't really a healthy thing."

My comment was:

All very good points to ponder. Symmetry is another but I am not sure why? I saw a study online where people's faces were mirrored for symmetry. The study depicted ratings of the natural face compared to the mirrored face and revealed that most of the ratings favored a natural non-symmetry face. Imperfections, it seems, have a distinct appeal.

For this discussion, I am figuring *** refers to first line of attraction when viewing potential matches here. Since most profile pictures are of people's faces and full body or action pictures are few and far between, the question deals with mostly facial features.

At a point in my career I worked as a service advisor at a car dealership. My job was to deal with customers in the service department having or needing their cars repaired. I studied CSA (Customer Service Advisor) techniques published nationally. One of the things they suggested was to install a mirror behind the service desk. It seems most people do not like to see themselves angry. We did that and the number of angry customers diminished significantly.

If you see a picture that you perceive as an angry expression it is more likely to turn you 'off'.
Over-all expressions that pictures broadcast to you are perceived at first sight.
I believe that most people are inherently 'good'. They assess a profile pic to determine that person's affinity.

Personally, if I see someone that is sad I try to cheer them up.
If I see someone angry I tend to shy away. Those emotional vibes range up and down the scale and have differing magnitude depending on how I feel myself, while looking at them. To me, those impressions determine my first reaction to the person I am looking at. The ones that inspire me, cause me to look closer.

In person, the first impressions are very different. My eyes go directly to her gaze. Not her eyes, her whole expression while looking at me. She could have mesmerizing eyes but if her body language and facial expression are hostile I will not approach her.

Stand-off body language does not necessarily put me off if her expression is warm and welcoming.

Physically,
I prefer a proportional body type. If her head is normal but she is excessively skinny; her head normal but her body is excessively large or anything just not normal to the human physique it is a flag. I don't mind skinny if the body looks like is supposed to be skinny. I don't mind large if the body looks like it is supposed to be large. At my age I fully understand that time takes its toll on our bodies.

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Jan 2017
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On The 8th Day

I've been on CS for 8 days today. For the past 7 days I have been reading a lot of content from other CS members. I had many blog ideas for my first blog to say hello. I'm not sure I even want to share any of my insight with CS members?

From what I have read in the forums and blogs makes me believe there are a few people here that saturate them with negativity. People that disregard courtesy and tact to punish everyone with pitiful hostility. It seems no matter what anyone writes it warrants retaliation from a select few.

This is a site designed to allow you to put your best image out there so someone that might be looking for you might find you. Anything you write or post on this site is a way for them to understand you better.

What I see is a lot of people that can't take life seriously and stay focused on the task at hand.

You are on a dating site. You are hostile, angry with the opposite gender and narcissistic. What is to be gained by spreading hatred? If you sow the seed of hatred you will only reap hatred.

I have read many blogs at many places. What I see here are not blogs, they are quips of insanity posted by shallow, insecure people full of delusions. If I decide to post blogs here in the future, I will turn off comments because if you want to talk to me about my blog you can contact me from my profile.

My blogs will deal with me and be about my views on life as I see it. They are a tool to allow someone that is interested in finding out how I think and feel to understand me.

I post from my home computer so writing is not an issue, neither is reading and viewing large listings at once. I have a phone but I don't use it to post. I am typing on a full keyboard. For most, what I type will be too much scrolling.

So be it.

I hope you all find someone special in your life and no longer need to use online dating sites to express yourself. If I find someone, I will leave and never come back. BUT...isn't that how it is supposed to work?

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Jan 2017
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Understanding Misery

I think that many people enjoy being miserable. They go thru life trying to find people that are more miserable than they are so they can feel better about themselves. They tend to resent those that are content or joyful in life.

Compliments to them, puts them defensive because they think there is an ulterior motive. Twisted people twist honest comments to mean some very strange things.

They go home and wonder "Whats wrong with my shoes?" "I need my hair redone" or "OMG, I used too much/too little eye-shadow today" or worse.
Oh, if we only lived in a world where things were taken at face value.

Misery is a result of depression. Everyone deals with depression at some point in their lives. The depression is a self-sustaining misery that is inside and can only be stopped by yourself. It is created and maintained only by you.

People are bombarded during their lifetimes with ideas based on delusions. We are told by society, friends and family how life is supposed to be lived. We are told how we should feel about things and what is supposed to be important. When we do not live up to the expectations placed upon us we feel we have failed in some way.

Life is just life, nothing more.
Your life is an accumulation of things you have experienced, feel and believe. It is yours and yours only.
My life is not the same as your life and that is normal. What is important to you may not be important to me and vice-versa. You are either alive or you are not.

Depression comes when what we expect from life is not want we encounter in life. Others tell you what to expect in life. When those expectations do not happen it is a let down. When you tell yourself what to expect in life you are setting yourself up for misery because life is just life. Misery leads to depression which leads to misery which deepens the depression.

There are ways to cope with misery and cope is what you must do to master yourself.
The most important thing to know is that you are the only one that lives/lived your life. Nobody on this planet has more experience being you than you. Recognize the things you tell yourself that are initiated by others. Ask yourself if you really like this or despise that or is it because that is what other people have told you to do?
Embrace your strengths and identify your shortcomings and either do something about them or accept them as they are. Don't be who you are expected to be, be who you really are.

A man once told me that to find a woman you have to act like a man. Well, I thought about it for a moment and replied..."I AM a man". What makes me a man? His reply was that I should watch football and be a tough guy. Well, I don't like those kind of sports and I don't force my beliefs on anyone let alone demand anything of them. I am a male and I have played the Manly Man game to the point I lost myself for a bit. I learned to just be me and not worry about how others think of me. I find that people like the me I am, as I am, naturally without those forced delusions.

Anytime you are deluded into being something you are not you will get depressed because it is more difficult to maintain a lie than to be honest. Those failures that come with maintaining a deception add to your inner misery causing discomfort. All of it is caused by you, yourself and the failure of being deceptive to yourself.
If you understand yourself and own your own feelings and desires you can live in an honest state of mind.

My depression almost killed me years ago. I was ready to just end this misery anyway I could. I sought assistance and learned the things I needed to learn. I have been stripping away delusional thinking ever since. Delusions of society. Delusions of other people and my own self-sustaining delusions. It is a work in progress and I may never be able to see reality clearly but I am making steady progress.

I love me. Without me - there is nothing.

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Jan 2017
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Strange Stuff tMic Says

I say some pretty strange things sometimes.

Join me for a romp in the playground of my mind. There is no rhyme or reason to it. Some of it is just off the wall banter, some are rants I have had online and some are some weird dreams I relate.

It should give you a glimpse of how I think and feel about things. Call me crazy, call me insightful or call me just plain dumb but it all comes from me.

Sometimes I am completely grounded, then, other times I go way out.

I'm not Groovy - I'm Far Out

Why must people always try to be happy? Contentment is the best state of being. Happiness, Sadness, Anger and Joy are not meant to be constants.

Intelligence is the ability to reason. Wisdom is the application of experience. Smart is wisdom without experience.

Associations with other people builds wisdom through experience. Choosing the correct associations to increase your wisdom is smart. Knowing this is intelligence.

I lie awake at night trying to figure out how Relative Displacement Drive Braking would work and what it would look like to the pilot.
That then keeps me thinking of how to create Phase Diversion Shielding so my space craft doesn't smash into anything at high speed.
Then I am forced to contemplate the logistics for transporting 150,000 people and 1.5 million supporting lifeforms on a seeding expedition
Which begs the need for a Super AI controlled nano-assembler matrix

Okay, I've given this careful consideration....What does a nose smell like?

It is not my responsibility to rectify anyone's ignorance, It's my choice

Mmm, Dorito Sammich

So, I have to wait an extra day for my birthday again this year! I'm getting sick of this crap. Seems like about every four years they make me wait an extra day and I ain't gunna do it anymore, so there!

I just read on my toaster oven that I should be wary of food flare-ups?

Triplixiuum-111 "Liquid Dipshitary" Trump drinks it in his morning coffee

Nunyajail-223 "Jail Avoidance Cake" Hillary eats it with her noon tea.

Sheeple-16 "oblivious wandering ray" Voters exposed daily via media surges

It is possible to live under your means even when your means is minuscule. Always pay your bills on time to avoid late charges. Budget your food as well as your money and say "NO" to impulse spending.
Treat your savings account like a bill and ton't touch it till you have at least 2 months bills coverage accumulated.

Its a fusion between Country and Rap. It's called CRAP!

Currently accepting applications for Hostess

Lately been outovit more than init

Watchin Movies & Smokin Pretzels - Life is good~

Six sickos sent seven saucers sailing

Checked Craigslist for a GF, Nothing in my price range that is not an old beater

Dreamed I was in a farm machinery warehouse and it was all covered in bacon

Health is low - Looking for a big red pulsating heart icon...

Ah, Yes! A York Peppermint Pattie!

When I die the flying monkeys will be released

Hurricane Season starts tomorrow, what's the bag limit?

Finally! Glorious FullForce Thunderstorms! ~~Lovin It~~

You know you're old when even your dreams are repeats

I feel like Ben Grimm this morning!

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Jan 2017
in Comedy
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This is a list of tMickeyMann's Blogs. Click here for tMickeyMann's Blog List

tMickeyMann Blog (7)

S E X on the First Date

On Judging and Being Judged

Thoughts about Marriage

What Do you Look at First when Considering a Match?

On The 8th Day

Understanding Misery

Strange Stuff tMic Says

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