Things always change-but I sometimes wish they didn`t...What a place I grew up in. -Everyone knew what everyone was doing. And sometimes, I wish they didn`t. I was so embarrassed, when I knew, just what Ma would do, with a certain circumstances.All except one. There was no holding her back. We had a tight relationship, with most neighbors. Except, some that were not her cup of tea. We use to call some houses, that were set on the back of a small lot "garage homes". There were about five to a block. They were cheap to maintain. Each room, was set side by side, one room may have been divided in half to make a bathroom. ( We weren`t fortunate enough to have a tub. Our baths resembled a house on thr prarie,at best), except that we had running water, & a huge tub we saved, that used to be filled with coal, for our pot belly stove, that we later changed into an oil stove. Everyone took a bath on Saturdays, in the same water. Most times, we didn`t have a car.Except for the earlier days, when cars were "Model T`s"... After a while,We`d take a bus, maybe use a transfer ticket & get where we had to go. Then there were the street cars, that were hooked up to the electric wires overhead. We had block parties, & dancing in the streets, until the cars got to where they were too modern & too fast., & couldn`t be fixed with a screw driver. I played marbles, with some kids, on an empty lot next to the church, that was actually , later, moved to another community. Most of the time, when Ma wasn`t cooking stuffed cabbage or baking Babka bread to share, she was really bored. The man from deep down south, next door, irritated her no end... shaking his overly huge naked belly, & bragged about his young wife`s "southern fried chicken". While it was a steady thing, he repeated that over & over, for Ma`s behalf, (or so she thought)...I`d glance out the four large window panes in the kitchen,once in a while ,wondering what Ma was thinking, & then she did figure out something she would say, to shut him up. As for me, I could never, ever figure out what she`d do!! Only the one time that, when I had glanced out the window , maybe for the third time,she had enough... suddenly, the back of her dress flew up... & she MOONED him!!!!! Oh,m` God....Ma!!!!! What in the heck did she do.?! (No one did anything about it). And I was too ashamed to go out there, when THAT mood hit her, by gosh!! To say anything was best, I guessed, while the guy retreated like an enemy, from defeat,in total surprise. (And that wasn`t popular, then)!! Well, like I said- that was the old neighborhood, only with Ma`s "trimmings"......H-mm-mm-m!! Problem solved.??!!!
When he walked toward me,in that slinky,flirty way-I was definately drawn to him.He hugged me tightly,with the fullness of his manly brawn,within his arms.I first noticed the clean,smell of his hair,when a droplet of moisture gently touched my cheek...He held me closer,pulling away a little,for only a second, to look at me,and his eyes took complete charge of my attention."you`re going to be trouble,I just know it",I said to him. When he opened his mouth,He spoke words of endearment to me..."I love you near me",he told me. His breath was as fresh as a sprig of mint,as he spoke,and the words just rolled off his tongue.He drew me closer,hugging me once more,wanting me to know that I would be only his.His cologne sent a rush,through me,like a fleeting breeze,that presented him to my heart...and that touched my blouse,so that I never wanted it to be washed away...I could tell he had just showered,and came to see me as quickly as he could.He didn`t need all those extra things to impress me.No doubt I let him know,there wasn`t anyone else,and I told him that I wanted him in my life.-and ,it wasn`t even Valinetine`s Day,yet
The minute your lips softly touched mine,I knew-In every part of me,a tidal wave of desire existed within me-the fierce pulsating river flooded my heart,and every other beat was yours-rippling to the bottom of my feet.....It was then,that you took my breath away.~It sent me reeling through my mind,with thoughts only of you.And all the world did not exist,around us.Only you and I were on a flight going nowhere-just a mere kiss,and I was enthralled.~When you took my breath away.~The mystery of love,engaging sweet talk,the look in your eyes,so many plans-nothing mattered,when we lived on the edge of the world,I couldn`t forget you.~And,you took part of my heart away with you,too.It was etched within you.When I saw you last,I dreamt your breath was still on my lips,even though some of you is still with me.you are gone from me to be in the graves of lovers.
My only regret was a child I never had, that could remind me of the wave in the back of your hair. The tiny gap in the front of your teeth, they may have one day, & the long fingers of being creative, & all the other "If onlys", & maybe growing old together....I will still think of what could have been, & you still would take my breath away, my love.
God gave us life and made us into His own image-His son died for us...He molded each of us to fit a pattern and gave us a will.Still,we tend to make our own rules and set our own standards and we can`t follow them.-Through the caverns of deceptions we lurk,among evil and greed;therefore,we never seem to fit into the ultimate plan of salvation......We`ve chosen to be lost in the complex maze of society at large.We unmask what should be mysterious,and flaunt inhibitions without remorse.And then we even abuse our freedom for our own purpose-Some of us just marking time to the beat of our own drums........Without fear,we tread the spheres of the world`s material lust,Reaching for unattainable goals that crumble like a tastless cookie.-No love lost,nor accountability of personal consequences to face.We complicate our lives,making it a labyrinth of whys and wherefores......There is no reason for God-He just IS!And He walks among us.But we don`t recognize His voice.For so many,it grows fainter.Can we no longer humble ourselves,to pray-to help the hungry,the poor, or to rescue the lost souls?.......Could we ever retreat,and turn back to God-our first love,not our last resort.Will we continue to hold up only winners and placard trophies for concise achievements?-Never to deem witness for the grace of God that he gives us freely,each and every day....Are we too busy to give Him the slightest bit of praise,while He cries out the disbelief of supposed sin from most of us,that is the nature of man.-Will we let His son`s blood spill- in war,or personal gain,stepping over other men,and all in vain,with the contempt for life itself?
I know for sure, everyone has dreams & hopes to explore each of some
possibilities if they do come up. Why not. It doesn`t hurt anyone, unless you`re the type to do something on purpose.
Without a start, keeping your mind on certain things, you can`t explore new things, so we take chances.
Not all things come to pass. But at least, you know you tried to make whatever you dream to make something happen for your own destiny.
If you don`t try....lets say, "You may never know" or ask, "Why did I wait ", or "I should have".
We all have experienced things like that.
I was fifteen, at the time. I think my mom dressed me down, with hexagon metal glasses.
But I know we didn`t have money, being a child, that was born to an immigrant couple. I was very aware.of the times of The Great Depression.
I dreamt of being different than I was. Being a cancer sign...this loomed over other things, in the back of my mind....always, pretended being a wife, & mother, when young. But in school, mom could not communicate properly, with teachers & had to have a teacher convince her I could not see the school board work, & needed glasses.
Not too much attention was paid for being clean, we had no tub or shower. So, mom visited my aunt, often, when she took a towel & soap with her, on frequent visits. "By the way, can we use your tub?" -was a question that was etched in my mind..(very embarrassing).
But I over-came that. I was going to make sure, I`d use my dreams & make due with imagination.
I looked for ads in the paper.Being a waitress was appealing to me.
We moved across the street. -Don`t even think on this one thing.
My Mother had a idea (or dream), to build a house, when my dad finally got work which was hard to do, at the time. She met a Polish woman who use to loan money, at 2% interest, to people of the same decent, nearby. She heard of it through others -except my dad. She barrowed $1,000. 00. My dad knew nothing of this.
(I was not to say anything, since I was only 6 yrs old-otherwise, I`d get her eagle eye).. She`d pay it back, since Pop, gave here the check, getting enough for his Imperial whiskey, & a little bit for tobacco, for his pipe.
We had a porch at the old house, with homemade furniture, an oak table that didn`t fit in the 3 bedroom house.
And, of course, my mom`s homemade rocker, which she always used. especially, if she had an idea, for something, as mentioned. (She always rocked faster when her mind was really active!!) I noticed that.
She eventually paid the woman back in a year. My dad still knew nothing, except it was appealing to him to get excess wood to make things, & they became bigger as time went on. Asking if he good have the left-over wood, still not knowing the house was to be ours. The stuff got bigger. My mom found a designer, & he made some plans for her urgings....two bedrooms, one bath, living room, kitchen, etc. The house went up. Meanwhile, with my mom`s raised eye brows, watching my dad bring enough to build a shed on the side of our small house, she`d have to figure a way, to let him knw what she did. (I`m the one who let it slip).
We took a walk, & I mentioned, looking at the house, & said, proudly. "OURS:???? My mom looked at me for a second, & held my hand until it was white.....
My dad had a questioned look. "vat you did , now"?? She had to tell him what happened . She barrowed another $2,000.00 & was half paid back. My brother was drafted, as the war was in progress. He sent money enough to pay the rest. Can`t believe my dad took the credit...& my mom let him.-some dreams do come true.
Back to me, looking in the paper, with meager clothing, I changed & sewed & added stuff to, I found I
could take a bus, earned enough money to pay for Patricia Steven`s Modeling & Finishing school. I did model for 3 yrs, doing live statues I department store windows, & modeled play clothing.
Before I marry two people....I insist that they fill out a form of questions for each. It takes about an hour. Then I allow them to exchange them & read their comments & preferences. To fill out what they can change about themselves or each other This saves a lot of heartaches.
It seems they never thought about some things I say, to think about how you talk to your partner. If you don`t want to start any aruement...one usually begins with: "you never" or "you always". Then at a ceremony, I tell them not to say "you complete me". Two people should be as complete as they can, by themselves. If they depend on someone else that way, they will always be searching for their own real person in someone else, other than themselves. another way is to say:" You enhance my essence. Moonkitten
The best wireless connection is God. He is always there for anyone. He accepts all emails, & all kinds of contact. He isn`t far from you, & you won`t be blocked. He has positive things he can bring into your life. He`ll even give you free life lessons without asking for money...just your obedience. HE doesn`t expect perfection from you, because HE knows how to forgive, even if you don`t. It doesn`t matter if your are poor, rich, how you dress, or if you aren`t faithful to HIM. He can overlook your short-comings, among other things. Just contact HIM.
It doesn`t matter if it`s day or night, or 24/7. I think HE will appreciate it if you reach out to HIM.
No matter what you deny-there`s no reason,to say why.It so happens,YOU may be-another year older!!...Let it be known,there`s no use to lie,because you just lose track,when you die!!It`s,that if you go backwards,you will still be older!!...Oh!-the make-up(& feels so natural) that you buy.-And all the different exercises we should try.-it only hurts a little while,-you`ll only be another year older!!...You may have a little more chin,,a wee bit more fat, & a few more lines, when you grin,-it`s just that reality that you are 365 days older!!...OK!! -Wear a girdle,(if you must)But you must know -nothing will pick up that bust!!-Coming to your local dealer-One more year older!!...There are many clothes that you can buy-(possibly,you may need some bigger sizes to try),It`s that vanity of being negative, about that one more year!!...You must know ,you can`t hide-But,for now,put that extra candle aside.-It`s about honesty,about that darn one year!!.....Sometimes,we can be happy.just watching things grow.-And what`s happened to all the other people,we used to know??-It`s not always fun,-to be a year older!!....So,lady,pack up your over-nighter,& go around the block.-Don`t just sit there & watch that clock.-It`s going to happen,anyway,you know.-One more year!!...Or,how about just a day out,at the store-or maybe you could do a little bit more.I know,it`s risky to be,a little older!!...Maybe someone will correct you & hold you back,when you get bolder.That`s what happens,when we get older!!..Just humor us(you`ll get there some day,too)-But for now,just thank God for another day-(that turns into another year),& makes us a little bit older!!
Age knows no time. The fruits of our youth soon come to fruition.
It gets better, like vintage wine.
Listen to your heart at it`s best, while you wander along life`s path, & savor the taste. It won`t last forever.
Try a multitude of tasks, & try something new. Reap the harvest.
Find love. help someone, use time wisely, & replenish your mind to keep alive, in the NOW.
Be fervent, keep diligent...let go of past turmoils,
bury them,& all the memorials in your mind to it.
Use it to be a newer, better thinker, & the best person you can be than the day before.
But be happy doing it is the key to happiness....
Don`t waste time...life is too short.
Make every minute count -without being a "clock-watcher".
You can`t turn back the hands of time,not ever again...As this occured to me,the day before last. I`ll trust God for my future, leaving behind what might have been-in regard to that time of my life,gone forever-my past.....My dreams linger on the heels of days gone by,it seems.Just as a clock with a broken spring that lost it`s power-unwinding all around me,never having those glorious themes.Reality starts with today,to tick away the hour....One must keep track of time, revealing more than a tale or two-walking through the past and starting todays of your own.For all too soon,the hands of the clock of your life will suddenly be withered and sown...God will not grant us more than just a day.Pass this way slowly; breathe deep the earth`s true scent.Why waste what was given freely,we might say.It will all end,without a chance to find out what it all has meant.
Ah,winter! What a glorious season,especially with it`s white fascinating blanket of beauty. Realistially,it means that cars won`t start -you see smoking,blowing howling winds -and lots of falling snow...Just another time to store the tennis rackets, golf clubs and the lawn furniture(that`s broken)...If only there was enough room for the birdbath and the lawnmower(that won`t mow). Some people can be seen being resourceful,winterizing their cars, and houses,in case of a winter freeze...In keeping with rituals of celebrations -the season enables us to enjoy sevices at churches and beautifully decorated trees...But when it snows, the term "energy saver" does not apply to the elderly person when clearing off driveways and sidwalks ,for just a day...You get a shovel and get a rhythm going and suddenly your hip locks to one side -and your back stiffens up in some crazy way! You know you`re getting older,when it gets in the way of whatever needs doing and there`s no energy to do it -and you don`t care if it ever gets done...You`d really like to disappear when it snows -or just wait for the snow to melt with the sun...`Bout the time your body losens up and the motion`s going well, the handle of the shovel breaks in half, only to ricochet off the hood of your car and into your knee...Determined, you fervently search for another, go into the shed, trip over a ladder, slip on some grease, kick over a can of paint -and see a shovel that`s standing against a tree!!! By now,your hands are numb,and you have trouble opening the door so you can look for a dry pair of gloves (that don`t seem to match) and again venture into the snow...Meanwhile some kids are playing down the block and yell for their Mom or Dad -and you automatically answer "WHAT"?!!! -to someone you don`t even know!!! Then you retire for the day and reminisce about what Christmas really means. You begin thinking of family and friends, and the people you know...And while you remember exchanging greetings all week long, you somehow forgot to get the shopping done!! For a little while,there`s a calming peace at the sight of glowing, blinking lights, that seem to shadow box on someone`s house, nearby...You halfway expect to see Santa Clause, himself, with his reindeer and his sleigh flying high over the rooftops in the sky...And when everyone should be thinking of peace on earth, and how a kind word or a smile could make the harshest person to connect -In the malls, bustling children are scurrying around, checking their wish list amid people, having conversations, trying to be politically correct...Your thoughts stray to a time, of raising children and you think of crazy glue in their hair, and a jelly stain on the wall that really didn`t matter...You stop and focus on grandkids and if they,too,know, you`d like to be in the midst of their clatter...Suddenly,you`re back to reality, putting your shovel (in a safe place), and you hear bells, softly chimming "Silent Night" -and so many things are brought to mind...You suddenly bump into a box that wouldn`t stay shut -and a teddy bear`s arm that dangles from it, seems to say,"Welcome Home"...And in another box -higher than anyone could reach, is a well worn plastic Christmas tree(with two missing branches), making another Christmas,one of a kind.
My dream is a desolate feeling within my heart.Come with me and share in the reverie of time and space~Embark on a journey that can swiftly catapult a vortex of love.Place your hand in mine,no matter where the place.~Walk with me,give me the sweet candor of honest promises.Refresh the splendor of our senses,reeling with prevelant wind songs,wild and free.~Ignite a lasting spark.and let it glimmer within our embrace.But bring with you the ageless fruits of youth for me.~Fill our universe with endless emotions of my dream.The enchantment,my quest,and my heart`s desire.~My dream prevails,and repeats it`s reverent glee.Listen,while the rythem of my heart lingers,is longing for someone new to insprire.
moonkitten Blog (37)