Sometimes you feel like a nut....
As I stepped out of the shower, I heard someone in my kitchen downstairs. Knowing that my wife was out, I grabbed my 1903 heirloom rifl*e-- which no longer works-- and crept downstairs, forgetting the fact that I was in my birthday suit.I came around the corner with the gun raised, only to find my wife loading the dishwasher.
"What are you doing" she asked.
"I thought I heard an intruder. I came down to scare him."
Scanning the contours of my doughy, nak*ed body, she mumbled,
"You didn't need the gu*n."
