Single for a reason!!

Woh!! How's that for a title! Probably should don a bullet-proof vest, or two!

Before anyone jumps to conclusions, I suggest you first read a decent way into this post, to know what it's on about.

I was brief with the title, so people knew what it was about. The longer version of the blog title should probably read: "Are we single for a reason?"

Again, before anyone jumps to conclusions about what that question may imply, I suggest you read further into this post.

Some people may say: "He/she's single for a reason," to imply that that person has something wrong with them that prevents them from having a partner, or having a partner for any decent length of time.

Whilst that may be true, there are other aspects to this topic. I wanted to mention these other aspects coz I think they're worth mentioning, especially so, on a dating site.

I have my ID on this site. I'm single, and I'm open to having a future partner. However, there's something different about my approach to this circumstance that I didn't previously have.

The difference now is, I'm also happy to be single for the rest of my days! No I'm not 87! I'm 57. I'm quite eligible to spend many years still, with another person.

To summarise a huge topic, I'll try to be as brief as possible...

I'm sure most single adults can feel the need to be with another, to feel 'whole.' Whilst it's lovely to have that kind of situation, many are not, and it may have little to do with anything being wrong with us.

It's just our life circumstance! Simple as that! Hang on, you say, good people find other good people and everything is clearly in order! Are you (me) saying that other good people may not find who they're 'meant' for? My answer: Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying, AND, no-one is necessarily 'meant' to be someone else's partner. But, they 'may' be.

If we find ourselves single, then yes, it feels kinda 'UNwhole.' There is definitely a difference between being partnered and single. No question.

However being single is better than being with the wrong person. And being single should not be seen as unwhole, even though it may 'feel' unwhole.

I believe the better psychological approach a single person can take on this topic, is as follows:

1. Be active about experiencing everything life has to offer. By that I mean, don't think you cannot go to things because you're single. Go on trips, social outings, activities, whatever. And not just a few. Go out as much as is right for you. Some are social butterflies, some are quiet loners, some are somewhere in-between.

2. At different times in life, we are given a boost, strength, Grace, anointing, psychological development, new insights, whatever, that are helps. Some say these are helps from a higher power. I will leave it to the reader to decide.

3. Life is not fair! Ohhhh, how dare I! Yes, I dare! Hahaha!

Ok. Maybe the truth is best dealt with by knowing what it is!

Some say that everything becomes fair in the next life! That whatever we persevered with in this life, we will receive a reward for that perseverance in the next life. I'm not talking about a psychologically destructive perseverance, like an abusive relationship. I'm talking about things such as being single when we don't wanna be, dealing with unruly children or associates, carrying a seriously debilitating illness for many years, etc.

The end! Hahaha!

The author of this post has 20 years experience in weekly Christian men's personal growth groups; a BA (Psychology); an Advanced Diploma in Counseling; was married for 8 years and had 3 children, before becoming separated and divorced.