Vanity Fair and City II (33)

Midnight. I suddenly woke up. So quiet this building. So dark outside. Only some remote noises in the street---Taxi speeded by.

As if the whole world had left me and I was in the abyss of darkness. And I suddenly realized one thing in this limitless darkness.

That some people are just cruel beasts, not human beings.

Anyway, it is never too late to realize this unhappy truth even though it did make me nearly suffocate at that time when I was stilling lying on the bed.

Some people think that they know all the things in the world, but they don’t know that they don’t know how our minds work because their hearts are too masculine, without any feminine.

There must be something wrong with their logic. Too harsh, too cruel, as cold as iron, and as hard as rock.

They are always the winners because they can leave easily and sneer that we are too clingy and too troublesome because we can’t leave them easily. Something must be wrong about this logic too. We are sad, we have tears and fears, or we are begging, not because we are weak, but because we are female, and female’s mind work differently from their mind. They judge our female’s mind with their male’s mind. That’s unfair. That’s too cruel.

Guess, if our mind had worked the same way as theirs, the world must have been terribly crazy.

And we are sad, we have tears and fears, or we are begging, not because we are clingy or dependent, but because there must be something real that strikes the chord of the heart. If she can leave easily and quickly, then she is just a player acting on the stage.

Anyway, it is not a good thing to realize that I was so near a beast at midnight when I was alone in the apartment with the whole world gone and only darkness left.

I closed my eyes. The snore of this city was so gentle, so tranquil, as if she was exactly the Sleeping Beauty. I listened to her snore, and falled asleep again. I was sure, when I opened my eyes, it would be a new day.

“Tomorrow is another day.” Scarlett O'Hara said.

In the darkness and quietness, I could hear Scarlett’s true words. She is always with me.