Vanity Fair and City II (35)

San Mao wrote not only by her hands and her heart, but also by her whole life. She herself was a magical legend which shows us something that has gone beyond races, nationalities, ages, poverty & wealth, and the stereotyped prejudice & pride.

Today is Tomb-sweeping Day. When I went to supermarket, I saw a middle-school student was reading San Mao’s book. Tomb-sweeping Day, a date to commemorate our beloved writer San Mao.

San Mao was born in a rich and cultured family and immigrated to Taiwan at a young age. She tried to kill herself many times in her childhood. Later she spent many years roaming about the whole world. At last she settled down in the Sahara Desert with her husband He Xi who was a common, not rich, several-years-younger Spanish man and who had been waiting for San Mao for six years. Six years ago, He Xi asked San Mao to wait for six years---after he grew up and retired from the military, he would marry San Mao. But at that time San Mao had already had her fiancé in Tanwai. Six years later, her fiancé died, so San Mao found He Xi again. At last, they spent several happy years in the Sahara Desert until He Xi died from drowning. Years later, in 1991, San Mao killed herself.

Many readers cry when reading the lines between San Mao’s writing, her stories with her Spanish husband in the Sahara Desert. We are moved by their trust, sincerity and true love. It is quite sensitive to talk about races and nationalities when talking about love. This has already become a stereotyped subject coloured by the stereotyped prejudice and pride. When the superior races or nationalities doubt the sincerity and true love from the hearts of the insuperior races or nationalities, how many of them can distinguish black and white, “good” from “bad”, and “true” among so many “false”?

San Mao was six years older than He Xi. Age is really not a problem even though I do mind. Yea, old men find young girls while old women date young boys, the world must be crazy. But He Xi asked San Mao to wait for six years; six years later he would grow up and retire from the military. Six years later, San Mao came back to find He Xi. And another six years later, He Xi died. San Mao became the loneliest person in the world.

While we are all eager to wealth, desire to settle down in prosperous cities, San Mao abandoned the city life and settled down in the Sahara Desert. She travelled many places, from Europe to North America, from South Asian to South America. But at last she left London, left Madrid, left Paris, left New York, and settled down in the Sahara Desert.

Her house in the Sahara Desert was just a stone house, very shabby, very simple. Her father had a lot of money, and she didn’t accept her father’s money, instead, she earned money in the Sahara Desert, with her husband. White men are not rich. Yes, their countries are rich, but white men don’t save money, so they are not rich. But San Mao was born in a very rich family, yet she was willing to marry a poor white man…It is not about money, not about races. It is about something that is deep and true. I will not define it. Everybody can define it if they were touched by this deep and true thing before even though it was just once time.

San Mao. Years roll on and on. But today, we are still reading her books, her stories in different places in the world, her love in Spain and the Sahara Desert, and her values about races, nationalities, age, poverty & wealth, the stereotyped prejudice & pride, and, the most important one, her views towards life and love.

San Mao and He Xi