Some tips for the ladies advertising themselves on

After viewing numerous profiles of frustrated women looking for their missing half, I thought I would offer some advice on marketing themselves.
Tip #1. Smile for the camera!
I have seen numerous “pretty” ladies commiserate how lonely they are, and how difficult it is to get a response from the guys, and in almost each case, the lass was sporting a frown on her main picture! They say misery deserves company, but not the kind you would expect. Most men would prefer to steer clear of emotional black holes, lest they get sucked down into depression city. Girls, take my advice on this one, the bait you use determines the type of fish you are trying to land. Want somebody cheerful and full of life and zest? Then act like you do, too! Remember, nobody goes to pity parties except the person doing the inviting.
Tip #2. Cover ’em up!
Part of romance is the element of mystery, and not just for things physical. We want to know the real you, what’s inside, what motivates you, your personality, your attitude on life in general, and even your dreams. We can’t very well do that if we get lost in silicone valley, now, can we? I would much rather look into your beautiful eyes than focus on a pair of accessories that I may or may not see in due course of time, and trust me, porn is just a click or two away. My particular take on a gal that is eager to show her um, assets, is that she is well, rather DESPERATE!
Another reason I tend to avoid women baring more than their souls is that when I develop a relationship with you, I don’t want every guy and his brother lusting after your bod and making me uncomfortable to the nth power by asking me if I had any pics of my new honey, and if not, would I like to buy some from him!
Tip #3. Location, Location, Location.
I know nobody is perfect, but if you think about where you pose when you have your picture taken, think about it first. Do you REALLY want guys to see your messy bedroom or bathroom, with your clothes lying around in piles, and boxes of junk in the background? Better if we see you in a neutral setting, in a casual pose, out with friends, family, or your pets, on a hike, whatever! No messy backgrounds, please. We’re not applying for a janitor position, so be fair.
Tip #4. DON”T LIE!
If you say you go to the gym 3 or more times a week, and look like someone who never met a jelly donut she didn’t like, come on! Just admit you’re a couch potato, but that you’d like a workout partner to motivate you-we do too! And if you have someone in your life and are trying to make him jealous by dating us, hang it up baby! Not all of us are into games that don’t involve a console, so work out your problems with your SO, or get lost. Life’s too short. You gals all seem to be getting lied to by guys who want one thing, but just hang in there; your prince is just a few clicks away, but he needs honesty too. We can spot serial daters a mile away.
Tip #5. A gift still has to be wrapped right.
For some of you, I have two simple words- Make over! Maybe you are the kind of gal that thinks of beauty as a transient thing, and that what really matters is the inner beauty, yada, yada, yada, but in order for us to get close enough to actually SEE the inner you is to not scare us away with your ruggedly handsome looks…
Tip #6. Pose alone, please.
I know you have friends, we all do. But it makes the introduction process a little awkward when every one of your pictures has you surrounded with your posse. Just imagine a response from a guy who viewed your profile-”Who’s your hot friend posing with you? Can you hook us up?”


Well, that's all I have to say for now, and good luck with the search for the cure to loneliness. Peace.