Just in case you need a laugh:
Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one. After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
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P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
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P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
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P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
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P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-feet-per-minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
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P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
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P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
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P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
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P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF is always inoperative in OFF mode.
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P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
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P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
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P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
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P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics..
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
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And the best one for last
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P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from the midget.
Comments (35)
Not confident in all their 'repairs' however.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
S: IFF is always inoperative in OFF mode.
This makes logical sense, doesn't it?
terbear, I was laughing to tears I loved all of them Thanks for the laugh
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
This one reminds me of our new IT personnel
Bonita: The internet connection went off. I've got notification on my screen "Server Not Found".
IT Staff: What?! I have checked it 1 hour ago and the server was still there in its room.
Bonita:
I feel sorry for the midget
Its good to see you laughing,i am glad you enjoyed them
I feel sorry for the little midget myself
p.Left inside main tire almost needs replacement
s. what tire
Now that you made me laugh, I would like to say thanks for that!!!....you made my day!!!
Your Sugar