Love Life

As I learn and realize some truth fact about love, that it was much more than material comforts and gains.
# I learn that love is sharing,Believe me when i say that this is one of the most important in gradients of love-to open ones heart and share-pain, joy, success and failure.
Love is being honest and knowing that the other person feels the same way too and will never be judgmental.

#I learn that love means spending time together,few minutes spend together everyday keeps the boredom way.Heavy work schedules take up much and effort,so it is important to get things into perspective.

#I realize that love is faithfulness.To love means to give all my heart to one, and only one.

#I learn that love is also being friends.Love is being friends with each other. Enjoying simple pleasure like shopping, catching a movie or watching television,apart from that a host of other things that "friends" normally do

#I learn that love is looking together in the same direction.
This may sound clinched, but it is true.love is having the same goals and taking steps in that direction to make them come true

I'm not perfect woman,but I will do my best for someone I love.

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Teardrop rolling down my cheeks made me realize that the center was at a crossroads in my heart.

I was remember all bad memories make me hurt and pain & teardrop falls...I push my self to go on cause my girls are my priority in this life.

I let my memory to bring my self into a flashback of the past.

I think I was had everything good life,sharing and someone caring and will loving me forever, already have someone who can make me feel comfort & build family with love&give me peace in my soul with knowing that he love me for today,tomorrow and forever.

My world was turned upside down and if only in blindness, did I feel I had found the love of my life but slowly, something chipped away in my heart and my self-confidence.

I began to realize that he didn't love me. I could tell by reading the messages, the hesitation,and the lack of warm in talk. Then distance became greater, the feeling is slowly gone when I realize he's not care of me,not respect me.not take care of me even by just say "everything will be alright”He can't!

There are moments where I said to myself that he's only been out of the phase is tired of me because we had marriage about 10 years and i was tried to think optimistically that it will soon pass. I was wrong that phase never ending,he's was cheated few times and not honest.I start to angry with my self,start to angry cause thought he will change if I give him apologies.

angry to myself cause I'm so sure that he's the one of little things who is have mean a lot in my life.

Every time I close my eyes I pray and hope it's all just night mare and when I wake up everything will be all right and perfect as I hope.but when I wake up I know it's not just a dream,he's hurt me by physic and mental everyday.

Love is never perfect,I wasn't naive.

On the road of life there are detours,dead-ends,u turns&road closed signs where two people are supposed to rely on each other to still reach where we were heading.

I came to a crossroads where I had to make a decision.
Is this the type of relationship that I wanted?
Is this how I wanted my final years to end?
Did I want my last breath to shout?

Love is not love if only me in love with him.
Love is not love if only one person who loves.

Love can not only be in one direction.So I made a difficult decision to end my love life with a broken heart. Darkness and loneliness that wrapped me in anger, sadness and disappointment,made me promise to never easy to believe again & never let a man to hurt my heart again...

I fight to build up my life with my girls for almost 8y now.
let the sunlight still shine give me a spirit of hope.
longing for my true love presence.

From Jakarta, with Love