Satori 10/31/2007

I rose from the bed & slumped against the door jam. Dizzy & panting, I glared from under my brow at the sun dappled lawn & up at the low ashen clouds. The golden hour was upon us, magnifying to surreal levels the magnificence of the giant cedars & Douglas Firs outside. I waited for the dizziness to pass. My awareness migrated inwards, tuning to the subtle inner voice of revelation I'd followed all my life. I saw backwards through time, the dots of lessons learned rearranging so a new pattern of understanding emerged.

Remember when I taught you to waken in your sleeping dreams. I taught you to be present, to be intensely centered in the one moment you were experiencing, whenever anything hurt or frightened you. I am telling you now that you are in but a dream and that, whenever anything hurts or frightens you, you should become lucid, present, focused in the instant. You can, from that instant, in nonjudgment, escape the illusion that there is anything to be feared. I taught you to lucid dream to bring you to this moment, Cailín. Your childhood nightmares were but training for now.

"How do I escape the illusion through lucidity alone?"

You escape by knowing that you are not the temporal self you but appear to be in this dream you call your "life". Remember lucid dreaming: You would simply remember you had another existence that was unthreatened by anything that appeared in the dream. You re-membered your Self: put your Self back together so your awareness straddled the context of dream life & waking life. Remember your near death experience. You saw your true context is Eternity & that life was but a dream you had been dreaming without lucidity: You believed you could suffer loss & die. Lucidity in this dream you call "life" is just like lucidity in your sleeping dreams: You remember that you are actually safe in another greater context (Eternity) & only dreaming. You straddle contexts. Then, do not judge what seems to present. There is another reason the cross is the symbol for the Christ consciousness.

"Show me."

I saw the cross as at once a balance beam & a metaphor for life & consciousness. The horizontal beam was the specter of Time passing, yet, simultaneously, the balance beam of judgment. The vertical post is the instant at hand, the NOW, & nonjudgment: the holding of all things "harmless & didactic" before the lucid awareness of my True Eternal Nature. The only way one could ascend & escape the illusions of time & suffering was to "Go not out on the limbs of judgment & polarity: of 'good & evil'": to remain in the instant, in the awareness of their Eternal Reality: that they were invulnerable because life is but a dream. Abiding in this instant would remove the fear that caused judgment of whatever appeared to present. One would then see Life as the streaming revelatory & didactic experience it was meant to be -- in order to bring the dreamers to the very blessed moment I was living at that very instant: the moment of liberation of escape of Lucidity.

I heard my own laughter echoing as from a distance as I was swept up in ecstatic shivers, awakening, truly Lucid -- for the first time in my "life". I wondered why I did not float away as I might have in a sleeping dream. A deep peace & uncaused joy settled over my awareness as "I" went out of my mind: the mind that had regarded me insanely, as temporal and vulnerable -- and traded that mind for the Christ's mind, abiding in awareness of my own invulnerability. In that moment of reckoning I had become Liberated from the dreams of time & matter, I had become The Fiddler's Bride: no longer His accountant for there were no accounts to be settled or reckoned at all. Everything was blessed, harmless, didactic. It all happened FOR me. Nothing had ever happend TO me.

Dreams seem real while they last. We can say no more than this about "Life". Hare, hare...