Looking at the groups page
My word isn't it depressing. I can't imagine being so lonely that I'd think to try such a desperate move as to broadcast my loneliness in such hopeless tropes as:"Is anyone out there"
"I'm lonely how about you"
Or simply just "Hi" x1000
And a thousand other males seeking female attention but being one of a thousand who posted to a group and got no replies and very little interest. You would think that dead groups would attract little attention and that people would not hope against hope but I guess it really does spring eternal.
But I'd like to think that if I was that lonely (I am single just to clarify just not particularly desperate) that I would look at what was yielding results and what was clearly hopeless and try to innovate.
Have you any advice for these people? What can they try, the tried and tested that might appeal to you as opposed to the hopeless howling at the moon they engage in. Is it the simple search and direct approach? The simple engagement of interests with the likely bunch.
My personal take is take a bit of time to really care to learn about another, be genuinely curious about your intendeds life, experience and travel. Don't just cry into the night about how awesome you are, get to know why someone else is awesome and they might get curious about you.
Kind Regards
Pete
Comments (7)
Food for thought
I guess desperate people do desperate things
But not me
Not only in terms of the lonely hearts issue, but it seems to be a wasteland in general.
I have no offerings for the desperately single out there, I find neediness disquieting in a person and tend to shy away from it
I don't think it's fair to judge people who write about being lonely. It is possible at a certain age, to find yourself short on friends, very short. People go abroad, become grandmothers, get divorced and move... a myriad things that find you, once driven mad with phone calls, just sitting around with not alot of friends anymore. Personally, I would rather go to a class. Seek people who have same interests.
I agree, blatant neediness and blatantly saying you are lonely can be very off putting. Neediness is off putting because we feel Hey this person isnot looking to meet somebody special, but anyone at all, and I am not 'anyone at all'
I did over the years join singles Groups. I found them sad, the women werenot particularly friendly and were obviously desparate to meet a man, again a huge turn off. There was no soriety. The men were needy too, asking you question after question, as if they had a Shopping List and were checking to see if you ticked all the boxes. A turn off.
I believe there are alot of very lonely people on C.S. but they dont write about it. They spend some of their time writing and interacting which is a good antidote for loneliness. Sooner or later we have to face into the real world though, where we rish rejection and ridicule. Its all part of life.
Just reminded me of that Song 'Innocent Man' Billy Joel
I agree with you, every day in Dublin I see so many fractured people, also there are so many people, single, no job, very little social interaction because of financial problems, low self esteem and sometimes psychiatric problems, either way, they end up in one bed apartments or Studio Flats, loneliness is insideous and it is not endearing. I find sometimes a lonely person strikes up a conversation with me on a bus and they can be intrusive without meaning to. Its pure loneliness. They are fractured , perhaps havent spoken to another human being all day.