Okay, Here goes

I'm going to start writing my thoughts. I'm not really looking for a conversation but I do want people to contact me. I guess, like everyone else, I want someone out there to hear me and see I'm worth a second look. I don't like to argue or exchange one liners so please understand if I don't respond to short comments or confrontational lines of conversation. What I write isn't meant as a slight to anyone because I'm not that kind of person. They're just thoughts and feelings.






I'm a habitual helper. I feel the need to help and in some cases save people. I believe this is a good thing but I think it encourages people to depend on me to the point of not being responsible themselves. I'm tired. Sometimes I just want to be taken care of. I've never had that before but I feel guilty for feeling this way sometimes. I never had a mother or father...not a good mother and father anyway. I was adopted into an abusive home...lol what are the odds huh? (off the subject, not going there)
Okay, where was I? Oh, yeah. I don't know if other people feel like they need taken care of but sometimes I do. Eventhough I've taken care of myself my whole life. I can no longer be in a relationship because I can't stand being accountable to someone. Between my childhood and my marriage I don't think I can ever be in that position again.
I want to be happy, that's it. As long as I don't intentionally hurt anyone I think that is okay. The happiest I've ever been is when I go to New York. I'm not sure why. It's fun, full of life and there is always someone there that wants to talk. I like that. I'm going to wrap it up here. I don't know if this is what a blog is supposed to be like but there it is. Not every entry will be like this. Sometimes I'm actually upbeat! javascript:emot(''); Well that's it for now. Gotta go now. Gonna try to find something to do in this little 'town' (San Antonio)