Give us a chance. (59)
KajunQueen: I am 41 and I find that alot of guys around my age do not want to date because they have been "done wrong" by the past women in thier lives.Well,some of us women have been done wrong by guys too,and we deserve not to automatically be judged by the women in your past. I don't want to date someone like my ex either,but not all guys were like my ex. What I want to know is> Why guys my age wont give me a chance??
Younger guys have no problem asking for my number,and older guys,but I don't feel right with a big age difference.
Younger guys have no problem asking for my number,and older guys,but I don't feel right with a big age difference.
I am finding the same thing to, kajun..
I am 43, and I am finding so far that a lot of men my age or slightly older are judging me by their ex's behaviour. Its very frustrating, and very hurtful.
Im not perfect by any means, and I dont mind being reprimanded for something I have done wrong. But I dont appreciate being reprimanded about something that a guy "perceives" I have done wrong, due to an ex's past behaviour..
I dont want to be single for the rest of my life; but I dont want to keep going through the hurt of having my heart bashed about either.
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You realize of course that this will be reversed by many. But that aside, if they don't give you a chance are they worth worrying about? I mean to me it seems that if someone is going to base meeting new people on how their ex may have treated them are they really ready to be moving into a new relationship?
I personally do not think they are because they have not let go of the resentment, anger, hurt, etc from the last relationship if they are doing any kind of comparing between a current possibility and the last experience. So for me if that is the case I would rather not have them even try to pursue me. Once they can view their ex as either a lesson learned or as some enjoyable memories, or a combination of that etc.. then I think they are ready to find a new relationship.
Just my own thoughts on it, don't know if it will help at all in feeling "shunned" but thought I would offer the above just in case.
me
I personally do not think they are because they have not let go of the resentment, anger, hurt, etc from the last relationship if they are doing any kind of comparing between a current possibility and the last experience. So for me if that is the case I would rather not have them even try to pursue me. Once they can view their ex as either a lesson learned or as some enjoyable memories, or a combination of that etc.. then I think they are ready to find a new relationship.
Just my own thoughts on it, don't know if it will help at all in feeling "shunned" but thought I would offer the above just in case.
me
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Shedman01: You realize of course that this will be reversed by many. But that aside, if they don't give you a chance are they worth worrying about? I mean to me it seems that if someone is going to base meeting new people on how their ex may have treated them are they really ready to be moving into a new relationship?
I personally do not think they are because they have not let go of the resentment, anger, hurt, etc from the last relationship if they are doing any kind of comparing between a current possibility and the last experience. So for me if that is the case I would rather not have them even try to pursue me. Once they can view their ex as either a lesson learned or as some enjoyable memories, or a combination of that etc.. then I think they are ready to find a new relationship.
Just my own thoughts on it, don't know if it will help at all in feeling "shunned" but thought I would offer the above just in case.me
I personally do not think they are because they have not let go of the resentment, anger, hurt, etc from the last relationship if they are doing any kind of comparing between a current possibility and the last experience. So for me if that is the case I would rather not have them even try to pursue me. Once they can view their ex as either a lesson learned or as some enjoyable memories, or a combination of that etc.. then I think they are ready to find a new relationship.
Just my own thoughts on it, don't know if it will help at all in feeling "shunned" but thought I would offer the above just in case.me
Exactly my thoughts, Shed..
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KajunQueen: I am 41 and I find that alot of guys around my age do not want to date because they have been "done wrong" by the past women in thier lives.Well,some of us women have been done wrong by guys too,and we deserve not to automatically be judged by the women in your past. I don't want to date someone like my ex either,but not all guys were like my ex. What I want to know is> Why guys my age wont give me a chance??
Younger guys have no problem asking for my number,and older guys,but I don't feel right with a big age difference.
Younger guys have no problem asking for my number,and older guys,but I don't feel right with a big age difference.
I'd give ya a chance but I'm slightly out of your age criteria.
Hang in there, you'll find what you are looking for...and it will probably happen when you least expect it.
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I have found that some older men (not all) that have been in a long term relationship, don't really want to commit again and are enjoying the freedom of being single and playing the field a bit. jmo
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KajunQueen: I am 41 and I find that alot of guys around my age do not want to date because they have been "done wrong" by the past women in thier lives.Well,some of us women have been done wrong by guys too,and we deserve not to automatically be judged by the women in your past. I don't want to date someone like my ex either,but not all guys were like my ex. What I want to know is> Why guys my age wont give me a chance??
Younger guys have no problem asking for my number,and older guys,but I don't feel right with a big age difference.
Younger guys have no problem asking for my number,and older guys,but I don't feel right with a big age difference.
What you`r 41 ???
O god my life is over!!! I just wanted to ask you to marry me
but now.....
Do you realy think it`s abaut your age???
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Yes,it can go both ways.I am talking about dating in general.(not really a relationship) Guys that ARE worth it! The guys that have been "done wrong" are usually the good guys.
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BOBANBOBAN: What you`r 41 ???
O god my life is over!!! I just wanted to ask you to marry me
but now..... Do you realy think it`s abaut your age???
O god my life is over!!! I just wanted to ask you to marry me
but now..... Do you realy think it`s abaut your age???
I'm kinda thinkin' it might be thier age!
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morgan5: I have found that some older men (not all) that have been in a long term relationship, don't really want to commit again and are enjoying the freedom of being single and playing the field a bit. jmo
I know...I'm not wanting to commit either,I just want a date.
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morgan5: I have found that some older men (not all) that have been in a long term relationship, don't really want to commit again and are enjoying the freedom of being single and playing the field a bit. jmo
Perhaps true for some, however, many men and women in this circumstance may arrive at the realization that they would only enter commitment with another, if and when true love between the parties existed. Oftimes, a long, challenging period of time. Sometimes, there is no field to play (even fewer wish to play) and the freedom of being single could more accurately be described as being alone and miserable. And scared. Afraid that they'll never find the love and comfort of a mate.------ This thread is Archived ------
morgan5: I have found that some older men (not all) that have been in a long term relationship, don't really want to commit again and are enjoying the freedom of being single and playing the field a bit. jmo
i am finding it hard to trust, and been living with a woman almost a year, was single 4 yrs before that after 25 yrs off marriage. the problem with us men. after long marriages we fear it can happen again . new relations are great in the beggining,but me, i fear things can change again in the long haul of the relation. i will not mary again, because i did that already, i still like to flirt, and be who i am, and no one but god will tell me what to do. 
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In response to: I am 41 and I find that alot of guys around my age do not want to date because they have been "done wrong" by the past women in their lives.Well,some of us women have been done wrong by guys too,and we deserve not to automatically be judged by the women in your past. I don't want to date someone like my ex either,but not all guys were like my ex. What I want to know is> Why guys my age wont give me a chance??
Younger guys have no problem asking for my number,and older guys,but I don't feel right with a big age difference.
Younger guys have no problem asking for my number,and older guys,but I don't feel right with a big age difference.
I can't figure out why good looking women who seem nice can't find dates. I'm sure the same is true with men.
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KajunQueen: I know...I'm not wanting to commit either,I just want a date.
I'm older than you !
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KajunQueen: I am 41 and I find that alot of guys around my age do not want to date because they have been "done wrong" by the past women in thier lives.Well,some of us women have been done wrong by guys too,and we deserve not to automatically be judged by the women in your past. I don't want to date someone like my ex either,but not all guys were like my ex. What I want to know is> Why guys my age wont give me a chance??
Younger guys have no problem asking for my number,and older guys,but I don't feel right with a big age difference.
Younger guys have no problem asking for my number,and older guys,but I don't feel right with a big age difference.
all things we need are cannot get sametime,we need to be patient and choose which one is the right one for us,if u been hurry and just pick which one infront of u,might be same what we got before,there is right time for us,and there is one will find us,were ever we are..dont pick the wrong fruit ,it will fell in your hands when the time tells...
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krisha: all things we need are cannot get sametime,we need to be patient and choose which one is the right one for us,if u been hurry and just pick which one infront of u,might be same what we got before,there is right time for us,and there is one will find us,were ever we are..dont pick the wrong fruit ,it will fell in your hands when the time tells...
Couldn't have said it any better!
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KajunQueen: I am 41 and I find that alot of guys around my age do not want to date because they have been "done wrong" by the past women in thier lives.Well,some of us women have been done wrong by guys too,and we deserve not to automatically be judged by the women in your past. I don't want to date someone like my ex either,but not all guys were like my ex. What I want to know is> Why guys my age wont give me a chance??
Younger guys have no problem asking for my number,and older guys,but I don't feel right with a big age difference.
Younger guys have no problem asking for my number,and older guys,but I don't feel right with a big age difference.
If given a chance how many goods guys are over looked
by You dont want to be judged this site judge us on who
we our and if we look ok or how we talk and our inputs
I was in a relationship.for 20 years iam 38 years old and
I think that takes a big heart becuase i know she didnt
love me the same she was thinking she couldnt do better
so she put up with me but she never realy know who i was
and if she did she would have stay. anyway thats done and
my point here is sometime if you want something better you
need to stop the judgement and look into your heart and
slow down the guy with no looks or bad spelling like me may
have your heart if given a chance not one us have not been
hurt but i think loves a give and take thing if you cant give
you cant take it
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As much as I dont want a robot for a partner, Im not a robot either. I have feelings and flaws - as many as the next person.
I have some issues from past relationships, yes. Anyone who gets to their 40s etc has SOME kind of emotional baggage. Its impossible to go through love and heartbreak and not have it leave a residue...
But Im open to new experiences, and try to see the best in everyone.
Issues of the heart, however, and tricky. Clear thinking, logic and openmindedness can go out of the window when your feelings are running high. Its difficult not to read too much into things.
I have some issues from past relationships, yes. Anyone who gets to their 40s etc has SOME kind of emotional baggage. Its impossible to go through love and heartbreak and not have it leave a residue...
But Im open to new experiences, and try to see the best in everyone.
Issues of the heart, however, and tricky. Clear thinking, logic and openmindedness can go out of the window when your feelings are running high. Its difficult not to read too much into things.
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What can I say....the lovely ladies above have said it all for me seeing as I am in the same age bracket.....
Guys come on give the Ladies a chance....you may be pleasantly surprised.....
Guys come on give the Ladies a chance....you may be pleasantly surprised.....
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Well My husband has been cheated on with his past relationships and when we got to know one another he thought every woman would
be a cheater..
I told him that i have never cheated and should no woman ever
be label that until it happens...
I feel sorry for him and that happen to him..but that was not me...every person is different..and now he is finding that out..
I quess the past always will pop up but it can ruin the next
relationship..
He is very open in his past..but i say leave the past where it is..in the past..
I wont drag him into mine
be a cheater..
I told him that i have never cheated and should no woman ever
be label that until it happens...
I feel sorry for him and that happen to him..but that was not me...every person is different..and now he is finding that out..
I quess the past always will pop up but it can ruin the next
relationship..
He is very open in his past..but i say leave the past where it is..in the past..
I wont drag him into mine
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Younger guys have no problem asking for my number,and older guys,but I don't feel right with a big age difference.