Lets just say you met "The One" on here.......... (72)
SWFinMA30Taunton, Massachusetts USA4 Threads 37 PostsI am considering all input here.Thanks
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If kids r really a problem atm I'd move on,especially if in the next 3yrs u r just gonna talk n not meet...sometimes ppl would just do things behind your back cause u r far away...n they still talk about feelings....
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SWFinMA30: If the woman in this situation had her 15 yr old childs' blessing she would go in a heartbeat.
It would be... in a perfect world. But the situation being what it is, she will have to deal with it. Remember, our children are only young once. The time with them goes quickly enough.
If it's meant to be, it will be. There's really no cut & dried solution to this dilemma. But you're not alone, I can assure you of that.
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catchastar2: It's hard to manage at times, but it's love and that can be pretty powerful.
There is now law that says it's easy to find your soulmate. and nothing says they have to live next door. There just might be a cosmic reason that some are found halfway across the world.
There is now law that says it's easy to find your soulmate. and nothing says they have to live next door. There just might be a cosmic reason that some are found halfway across the world.
We both try to keep a level head about the situation. We care very much for each other. But it is what it is. I just take it one day at a time & know that each time I hear from him makes my day all that much better.
If something comes along in RL, well... we're both adults. But right now, I think we're both in each other's hearts. We're "cyberdating". It's the fad of the new millenium!
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Irockhearts: If kids r really a problem atm I'd move on,especially if in the next 3yrs u r just gonna talk n not meet...sometimes ppl would just do things behind your back cause u r far away...n they still talk about feelings....
I agree. Sometimes you just have to move on.
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SWFinMA30: and he/she lived in another part of your state which made it a long distance relationship.
This person came to meet you and you both fell hopelessly in love,this person also came to see you every other week for a couple of days for about 2 months,and you both talked about growing old together.
Ok here's the crappy part........Neither of you can relocate because of legitamate reasons and the reason is the same for both of you ,but you were both in denial about it because you wanted so badly for it to work.
You decide mutually to break it off and try again in 3 years because one of you will be able to relocate at that time.
Would you.......
A.Try not to get into a serious relationship and just play the field until 3 years has passed.
B.Move on knowing that if you do you will probably never find "The One" again.
If there is anyone who would like to add a "C" option feel free because anything will help.
This person came to meet you and you both fell hopelessly in love,this person also came to see you every other week for a couple of days for about 2 months,and you both talked about growing old together.
Ok here's the crappy part........Neither of you can relocate because of legitamate reasons and the reason is the same for both of you ,but you were both in denial about it because you wanted so badly for it to work.
You decide mutually to break it off and try again in 3 years because one of you will be able to relocate at that time.
Would you.......
A.Try not to get into a serious relationship and just play the field until 3 years has passed.
B.Move on knowing that if you do you will probably never find "The One" again.
If there is anyone who would like to add a "C" option feel free because anything will help.
No serious relationship should have relocation off the table. It should be a possibility, even if a problematic one.
Imagine reading this in a singles list: "Must move to my home town in order to have a relationship with me." How many people would respond? Who would think that's a legitimate basis for a relationship? I would hope almost no one. It's a ridiculous and self-defeating position.
Option C: if you truly believe he is the one, discuss relocation. If not, it's almost certainly over, and move on. By not being willing to seriously consider relocation, you're in effect making it clear just what this relationship is worth to you.
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I can understand the internal questioning (should I do this or should I do that?) and I'm sure it's gnawing at you (sorry...I meant "gnawing at them"). But my honest feeling is that if it's absolute that neither can move and that the visits can't continue, your options (sorry, THEIR options) are to either end it or to carry on status quo, with no expectations beyond today. And this is the thing that is generally impossible to do. In other words, I would rule out the "wait 3 years" option, because I don't think either of you (sorry, either of THEM) will really, truly do this. It might be what both desire right now, but as others have said, 3 years is a long time. If love can carry you for 3 years apart (sorry, I meant THEM), it will. But if it cannot, it won't. But I would not put my life on hold for 3 years.
I wish you the best.
I wish you the best.
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Judging by the responses I have recieved ,I have made a mistake and should have continued the relationship.
I don't know for sure yet but I will discuss it with him and see what came out of it.
Hopefully other wrenches don't get thrown into the gears.
I will come back and tell everyone what happens.
I don't know for sure yet but I will discuss it with him and see what came out of it.
Hopefully other wrenches don't get thrown into the gears.
I will come back and tell everyone what happens.
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Ambrose2007: No serious relationship should have relocation off the table. It should be a possibility, even if a problematic one.
Imagine reading this in a singles list: "Must move to my home town in order to have a relationship with me." How many people would respond? Who would think that's a legitimate basis for a relationship? I would hope almost no one. It's a ridiculous and self-defeating position.
Option C: if you truly believe he is the one, discuss relocation. If not, it's almost certainly over, and move on. By not being willing to seriously consider relocation, you're in effect making it clear just what this relationship is worth to you.
Imagine reading this in a singles list: "Must move to my home town in order to have a relationship with me." How many people would respond? Who would think that's a legitimate basis for a relationship? I would hope almost no one. It's a ridiculous and self-defeating position.
Option C: if you truly believe he is the one, discuss relocation. If not, it's almost certainly over, and move on. By not being willing to seriously consider relocation, you're in effect making it clear just what this relationship is worth to you.
I agree...if you love each other and want to relocate...there is always something that can be arranged...visitation can be changed through the court etc...So if you're serious enough about it..do something about it...if not...let it go and move on....
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(B) my reason is if you plan on moving on and start again in 3 yrs, I can't see that.
The both of you will be dating others and if that's so than how can you really be that in love with each other.
Cut it off and find another.
The both of you will be dating others and if that's so than how can you really be that in love with each other.
Cut it off and find another.
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I don't think there is any chance that a relationship would work after 3 years for someone your age. Sorry it just isn't going to happen. So the only real options as I see it, is figure out how to be together now or move on.
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SWFinMA30: Judging by the responses I have recieved ,I have made a mistake and should have continued the relationship.
I don't know for sure yet but I will discuss it with him and see what came out of it.
Hopefully other wrenches don't get thrown into the gears.
I will come back and tell everyone what happens.
I don't know for sure yet but I will discuss it with him and see what came out of it.
Hopefully other wrenches don't get thrown into the gears.
I will come back and tell everyone what happens.
This from your profile:
"...first and foremost if you live far away DO NOT contact me unless you are willing and ABLE to relocate."
So you went ahead anyway...ah, the plans of mice and men. 
If this is your position, it is only fair reciprocity that he or any other man have exactly the same position - that you should be willing and able to relocate.
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I think the basic rule of thumb is this: If you are not willing to accept the same conditions you've imposed on others, then those condition is bogus. For example, if you would not accept the condition that you be willing to relocate, then why should your potential partner?
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Ambrose2007: I think the basic rule of thumb is this: If you are not willing to accept the same conditions you've imposed on others, then those conditions are is bogus. For example, if you would not accept the condition that you be willing to relocate, then why should your potential partner?
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And by the way...God, I SO envy you. My love lives in a different country. What an incredible boon to find someone so close as in your own state! Perhaps a larger perspective might be in order?
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Ambrose2007: And by the way...God, I SO envy you. My love lives in a different country. What an incredible boon to find someone so close as in your own state! Perhaps a larger perspective might be in order?
So you finally acknowledge your love for me???
(Just kidding, you know)
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That potential partner did agree to relocate and we wanted it to work so badly that we were in denial until reality came along and gave us both a big fat "Whassa mattah fo you?" smack in the head.
Everyone is right though in that if it is "The real thing" then it is worth it to continue the long distance relationship.
I have sent him a message about the situation on another site and I am just going to see what he thinks.
If it doesn't work out then hey I gave it a last shot and it wasn't meant to be and I will just move on with my life.
Thanks for the input and yes I am even thankful for the things I didn't want to hear(or read in this case).
Everyone is right though in that if it is "The real thing" then it is worth it to continue the long distance relationship.
I have sent him a message about the situation on another site and I am just going to see what he thinks.
If it doesn't work out then hey I gave it a last shot and it wasn't meant to be and I will just move on with my life.
Thanks for the input and yes I am even thankful for the things I didn't want to hear(or read in this case).
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jlb684: So you finally acknowledge your love for me???
(Just kidding, you know)
(Just kidding, you know)
Well there are different countries, and then there are DIFFERENT COUNTRIES, if you know what I mean, Jeffrey.------ This thread is Archived ------
SWFinMA30: That potential partner did agree to relocate and we wanted it to work so badly that we were in denial until reality came along and gave us both a big fat "Whassa mattah fo you?" smack in the head.
Everyone is right though in that if it is "The real thing" then it is worth it to continue the long distance relationship.
I have sent him a message about the situation on another site and I am just going to see what he thinks.
If it doesn't work out then hey I gave it a last shot and it wasn't meant to be and I will just move on with my life.
Thanks for the input and yes I am even thankful for the things I didn't want to hear(or read in this case).
Everyone is right though in that if it is "The real thing" then it is worth it to continue the long distance relationship.
I have sent him a message about the situation on another site and I am just going to see what he thinks.
If it doesn't work out then hey I gave it a last shot and it wasn't meant to be and I will just move on with my life.
Thanks for the input and yes I am even thankful for the things I didn't want to hear(or read in this case).
I'm guessing mine was one of them.
Best of luck, SWF.
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I would relocate.There has to be a way to be together!! What could possibly hold you back? If it is definatly IMPOSSIBLE...stay like it is and wait it out.
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