A Problem of Attraction? (44)
harrydrebrampton, Ontario Canada8 Threads 18 PostsI have a question about attraction. If a guy is married but he finds himself intensely attracted to other women, what does this mean? Here is the break down. A friend of mine married this girl back in 2007, at the time he married her he did it genuinely. She is cute. But he finds other women more attractive than her at times. Some of these women ignite intense passion in him. Does this mean there is something wrong with his marriage, or is this simply how it is: that men just have to deal with this challenge? If he were to leave his wife for another woman due to his intense attraction for that other woman, would that be just?
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harrydre: I have a question about attraction. If a guy is married but he finds himself intensely attracted to other women, what does this mean? Here is the break down. A friend of mine married this girl back in 2007, at the time he married her he did it genuinely. She is cute. But he finds other women more attractive than her at times. Some of these women ignite intense passion in him. Does this mean there is something wrong with his marriage, or is this simply how it is: that men just have to deal with this challenge? If he were to leave his wife for another woman due to his intense attraction for that other woman, would that be just?
If the man likes variety then he is better off not married and giving that woman the idea that he actually wants to spend the rest of his life with her alone.
He is obviously not being true to himself, nor fair to his wife.
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harrydre: If he were to leave his wife for another woman due to his intense attraction for that other woman, would that be just?
I do not know him, but I know a few like that.
It would not change a thing, seems some of us come in that flavour, and we simply need to learn to resist the urge.
Tell him and see his reaction - If he just laughs it off, it will be nothing to bother about, but if he gets upset for you mentioning it, then I guess he have an issue in his existing relation.
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My Grandmother said "You cannot help if a bird flies over your head, but you can keep it from building a nest in your hair" Look, but don't do something stupid you will later regret
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gingerb: If the man likes variety then he is better off not married and giving that woman the idea that he actually wants to spend the rest of his life with her alone.
He is obviously not being true to himself, nor fair to his wife.
He is obviously not being true to himself, nor fair to his wife.
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I found that I was looking at this from multiple points of view. The first being that he got married too soon. I found this position not the one I truly believe.
The second position I am thinking about comes from all of us have married or dated someone 'cute'. However, their are some really beautiful women in this world and we notice them. Who doesn't desire some superstar? I think all of us have fantasies about some person that is drop-dead beautiful.
The real question deals with should he leave his wife for another woman. My answer is no. Get over it dude. Enjoy what you have. Don't seek the "greener grass over the hill".
The second position I am thinking about comes from all of us have married or dated someone 'cute'. However, their are some really beautiful women in this world and we notice them. Who doesn't desire some superstar? I think all of us have fantasies about some person that is drop-dead beautiful.
The real question deals with should he leave his wife for another woman. My answer is no. Get over it dude. Enjoy what you have. Don't seek the "greener grass over the hill".
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I think most people feel something like that at times. I think monogamy is a choice, like choosing not to overeat. It may be a challenge but the pay-off is very profound.
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Big_John: The real question deals with should he leave his wife for another woman. My answer is no. Get over it dude. Enjoy what you have. Don't seek the "greener grass over the hill".
Right on
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tennesseejudy: My Grandmother said "You cannot help if a bird flies over your head, but you can keep it from building a nest in your hair" Look, but don't do something stupid you will later regret
I more or less had that agreement with my ex. We could look but not touch.
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Big_John: I found that I was looking at this from multiple points of view. The first being that he got married too soon. I found this position not the one I truly believe.
The second position I am thinking about comes from all of us have married or dated someone 'cute'. However, their are some really beautiful women in this world and we notice them. Who doesn't desire some superstar? I think all of us have fantasies about some person that is drop-dead beautiful.
The real question deals with should he leave his wife for another woman. My answer is no. Get over it dude. Enjoy what you have. Don't seek the "greener grass over the hill".
Yes, I was looking at forom many angles too John. The second position I am thinking about comes from all of us have married or dated someone 'cute'. However, their are some really beautiful women in this world and we notice them. Who doesn't desire some superstar? I think all of us have fantasies about some person that is drop-dead beautiful.
The real question deals with should he leave his wife for another woman. My answer is no. Get over it dude. Enjoy what you have. Don't seek the "greener grass over the hill".
But as you say in your last paragraph, it boils down to that and that alone.
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USThumper: I more or less had that agreement with my ex. We could look but not touch.
I think it is just human nature to look..but John is right about greener grass------ This thread is Archived ------
mike69spain: That would be a killer....
I don't see the point of getting married and becomeing family with one person if you are going to sleep with other people. In that case just stay singles and let them all know you sleep around. Some people are cool with that. Seems silly to me.
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avecaim: I don't see the point of getting married and becomeing family with one person if you are going to sleep with other people. In that case just stay singles and let them all know you sleep around. Some people are cool with that. Seems silly to me.
Me neither, I agree there.
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LethalLove: So many people have 'More' mentality...
they want 'more'...they feel that what they have is not enough.
More money, more clothes, more cars, more stuff.....on and on and on...
that can include....'More' women....or men...more experiences...
He's attracted to the idea of 'more'.
they want 'more'...they feel that what they have is not enough.
More money, more clothes, more cars, more stuff.....on and on and on...
that can include....'More' women....or men...more experiences...
He's attracted to the idea of 'more'.
I agree with all of this. So many times we never know what we have until we lose it. Most of us don't get a second chance.
I come with a thought that if he can't get over the fact that he has something special, he has to accept his choices in life.
I stay with my original thought in that if he decided to leave his 'cute' wife for the other women he is probably making a mistake.
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of course you shouldn't drag someone into a relationship, however casual that they can't get out of if you are not planning on being monogamous, unless, of course, neither one of you is looking for monogamy and is free to marry anyone else 
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harrydre: Quality time.
Maybe he should focus his 'Quality Time' on his wife..................just a thought.------ This thread is Archived ------
sxc666: Maybe he should focus his 'Quality Time' on his wife..................just a thought.
hi, like the way you think woman------ This thread is Archived ------
Big_John: And then there is that!!!! It has a life of it's own most of the time.
That is the biggest pile of male macho crap, it may have a life of its own but a man worth anything has a mind of his own, not just in the head between his legs! That's just a convenient excuse men use for inappropriate behavior with women.
In a committed relationship, you can read every item on the menu, but the dinner is already prepared. If this guy wants "quality time" for other women, maybe he's not working hard enough or needs to get a hobby other than checking out other women. Become a Big Brother, or get active in a church, or something, there's plenty of stuff to get busy with nowdays, all you ever hear about are people being too darn busy. Maybe he should volunteer at a homeless shelter, he might discover the world doesn't revolve around his needs.
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tennesseejudy: My Grandmother said "You cannot help if a bird flies over your head, but you can keep it from building a nest in your hair" Look, but don't do something stupid you will later regret
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mtngypsy828: That is the biggest pile of male macho crap, it may have a life of its own but a man worth anything has a mind of his own, not just in the head between his legs! That's just a convenient excuse men use for inappropriate behavior with women.
In a committed relationship, you can read every item on the menu, but the dinner is already prepared. If this guy wants "quality time" for other women, maybe he's not working hard enough or needs to get a hobby other than checking out other women. Become a Big Brother, or get active in a church, or something, there's plenty of stuff to get busy with nowdays, all you ever hear about are people being too darn busy. Maybe he should volunteer at a homeless shelter, he might discover the world doesn't revolve around his needs.
In a committed relationship, you can read every item on the menu, but the dinner is already prepared. If this guy wants "quality time" for other women, maybe he's not working hard enough or needs to get a hobby other than checking out other women. Become a Big Brother, or get active in a church, or something, there's plenty of stuff to get busy with nowdays, all you ever hear about are people being too darn busy. Maybe he should volunteer at a homeless shelter, he might discover the world doesn't revolve around his needs.
Well so much for keeping this Thread funny!
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Created: Jul 2009
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