Men fear commitment more than women do (27)

Unfortunatly dome people don't..for what ever reason they fight their feelings..Just go with the flow...

Easier said than done - I know....... and there ARE things that can come between two people that eclipse commitment; sad, but sometimes true.

Only if you let it...

some people have a problem with closeness and intimacy. The closer they are to someone the more they will pull away. Pshyciatric kind of problem. they are incapable of hving what we all need most, a close loving raltionship. I have been in and out of reltionships over my life. Not been there in several years though. I felt more alive even if the relationship didn't end well. Not desperate but looking foreward to my next adventure. Problems with closeness has nothing to do with gender.

Men fear commitment more than women do, is one of the most common stands for nervous women who maintain men are indecisive..

Fearing commitment.... I don't think it is gender based..........

Does that have anything to do with people coming to visit your profile every day but never contacting you?

Does it then progress to sending you a flower or mail?

When you answer to thank them, does it mean they never write again but continue to look at your profile nearly every day?

That was tongue in cheek about the subject matter, but I do wonder sometimes, if fear of commitment extends to behaviour around how some socialise with people on the internet, even from the comfort and relative safety and anonymity of their own homes.

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Quite frankly I have always had a problem understanding this phrase 'fear of commitment'. How shall I express it... well, all my life I have kind of drifted from doing one thing to doing another thing. No apathy here...in fact with great gusto I have pursued all my most eclectic paths but sooner or later tired of them. It never occured to me that that I was "committing to something" whenever these course changes occured. (This frankly sounds like an awful self-indictment). But clearly I had no understanding of the word 'commitment'...I was never taught the importance of the notion. In its place I probably had a "Born Free" cavalier attitude towards life.

However, I am approaching this matter from quite a different corner than yours. Let's take it step at a time. "Gender based" - well, each and every one of the times I've taken an interest in a woman and decided to pursue it I have never been more frightened in my life. That is why every kind response led to my falling precipitously in love with all the women, most by far, being nice to me.

As far as CS behaviour goes, typically I have few visits; far fewer flowers and ever so rarely an email. And yet when I do receive these treasured communications they are from rather obvious hustlers, semi-literate in communication and incredibly unable to suggest starting a correspondence or meeting for a drink or even exchanging more information about each other. I wonder why on earth did they send me a message. However, whenever my mailbox or flowerbox is red I feel I have hit the jackpot. The rest of the day I lie face to the wall.

Commitment is a word I associate more with money-grubbing activities...someone wanting to climb the professional ladder at any cost; some civil servant brown-nosing his way up bureaucracies and so on. They commit - they commit themselves to self-abasing acts of unfathomable depths in order to "advance" in life and status.

In relationships fear of commitment makes sense to me only when one or the other person involved is already in some kind of relationship and justifiably weighs the risks of a radical change in life.

Iwish I could carry on this discussion with you further but thereis some doubt that you will ever even get this message.

ever,

R

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You are right.

In these matters there are so few strict definitions of words and phrases meaning something universally understood.

There are evolutionary reasons why females will commit after careful evaluation towards males than the other way around. (Read Darwin or Dawkins).

Do keep in touch.

ever,

R

What a condescending load of crud..........

I think its in the genes. Women tend to (more than men) to want to build a home and have children. Men are maybe more prone to "look for something even better" - over the horizon - But then again, we,re all different.

There is something in what you say, not in the genes maybe, but in tradition, in that men often have to think about being the breadwinners for a family for the next 20 years, and that is often enough to make them run for cover, or just not commit in the first place.

In the 21st century though, women are also breadwinners, so they have to think like men did traditionally, and it might also be part of why they don't commit.

In my opinion though, women's fear of commitment comes from a different source. They are less likely to commit because of the attitudes of some men regarding monogamy and devotion to one partner, or lack of that commitment these days. Sometimes that works vice versa too, depending on the experience the man has had with previous women.