The 180 degree spin! (22)
Are you letting them back?
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His doing it because you are allowing him too.
Either he just wants you at his beck and call, or he may well be married or in a relationship.
You say you are amused by it, have to say i wouldn't be its game playing, and not something i would want in my life.
But i think you know this already
Either he just wants you at his beck and call, or he may well be married or in a relationship.
You say you are amused by it, have to say i wouldn't be its game playing, and not something i would want in my life.
But i think you know this already
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morgan5: Are you letting them back?
Yes. I am. I still think there is potential. And now I'm sort of just waiting to 'see' what this person will eventually do because I've become so curious about this form of evasion. I'm ok with his decision either way, if he comes around or chooses to not come around. I'm keeping my options open, but it's sort of a puzzle, and now I'm just so intrigued by this behavior that I feel compelled to understand it.
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My guess would be one of the two: the person has been hurt in a previous relationship and is a little "gun shy", if you will, OR the person could be a player. Just my opinion.
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AnnBrown: Yes. I am. I still think there is potential. And now I'm sort of just waiting to 'see' what this person will eventually do because I've become so curious about this form of evasion. I'm ok with his decision either way, if he comes around or chooses to not come around. I'm keeping my options open, but it's sort of a puzzle, and now I'm just so intrigued by this behavior that I feel compelled to understand it.
Have you asked him?------ This thread is Archived ------
AnnBrown: Yes. I am. I still think there is potential. And now I'm sort of just waiting to 'see' what this person will eventually do because I've become so curious about this form of evasion. I'm ok with his decision either way, if he comes around or chooses to not come around. I'm keeping my options open, but it's sort of a puzzle, and now I'm just so intrigued by this behavior that I feel compelled to understand it.
I would be worried that the even if you were to get together, he would potentially continue to do the same thing because you have allowed him to do it so many times already. JMO
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morgan5: Have you asked him?
He calls himself a flake, seems genuinely embarrassed, hides for a couple of days, then 'tests' the waters.
I like him enough to hang in there if this is something that people do when they've really been hurt by a past relationship. In that way I can understand it. He may not be ready. As far as talking to him about it, it's like HE doesn't know.
He jumps, I think, at any excuse to not follow through with HIS idea of getting together almost as though he's reaching for a rope, always wriggles out of dates that I try to set up (like he is being cornered into it), and then tries again. Weirdest thing I've ever encountered. Like he's despirate either way, then gets angry with himself, or me, or my availability, or whatever. I've told him flat out if he doesn't WANT to see me, I'm ok with that. It's completely up to him. There's no actual pressure, I have no negative feelings about his behavior. Just really odd.
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No go.
Nope. Offered the FWB thing. No go.
Just like the dating thing. Set up the opportunity, then he backed out at the last second. Quick 180 just in time!!
Very interesting fellow...
voyager007: well, simply put, he is not interested in you. he is interested in having you.
sorry
sorry
Nope. Offered the FWB thing. No go.
Just like the dating thing. Set up the opportunity, then he backed out at the last second. Quick 180 just in time!!
Very interesting fellow...
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AnnBrown: He calls himself a flake, seems genuinely embarrassed, hides for a couple of days, then 'tests' the waters.
I like him enough to hang in there if this is something that people do when they've really been hurt by a past relationship. In that way I can understand it. He may not be ready. As far as talking to him about it, it's like HE doesn't know.
He jumps, I think, at any excuse to not follow through with HIS idea of getting together almost as though he's reaching for a rope, always wriggles out of dates that I try to set up (like he is being cornered into it), and then tries again. Weirdest thing I've ever encountered. Like he's despirate either way, then gets angry with himself, or me, or my availability, or whatever. I've told him flat out if he doesn't WANT to see me, I'm ok with that. It's completely up to him. There's no actual pressure, I have no negative feelings about his behavior. Just really odd.
I like him enough to hang in there if this is something that people do when they've really been hurt by a past relationship. In that way I can understand it. He may not be ready. As far as talking to him about it, it's like HE doesn't know.
He jumps, I think, at any excuse to not follow through with HIS idea of getting together almost as though he's reaching for a rope, always wriggles out of dates that I try to set up (like he is being cornered into it), and then tries again. Weirdest thing I've ever encountered. Like he's despirate either way, then gets angry with himself, or me, or my availability, or whatever. I've told him flat out if he doesn't WANT to see me, I'm ok with that. It's completely up to him. There's no actual pressure, I have no negative feelings about his behavior. Just really odd.
It almost sounds like he has something to hide.....
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AnnBrown: He calls himself a flake, seems genuinely embarrassed, hides for a couple of days, then 'tests' the waters.
I like him enough to hang in there if this is something that people do when they've really been hurt by a past relationship. In that way I can understand it. He may not be ready. As far as talking to him about it, it's like HE doesn't know.
He jumps, I think, at any excuse to not follow through with HIS idea of getting together almost as though he's reaching for a rope, always wriggles out of dates that I try to set up (like he is being cornered into it), and then tries again. Weirdest thing I've ever encountered. Like he's despirate either way, then gets angry with himself, or me, or my availability, or whatever. I've told him flat out if he doesn't WANT to see me, I'm ok with that. It's completely up to him. There's no actual pressure, I have no negative feelings about his behavior. Just really odd.
personally i would not want someone with these kind of complications in my life.I like him enough to hang in there if this is something that people do when they've really been hurt by a past relationship. In that way I can understand it. He may not be ready. As far as talking to him about it, it's like HE doesn't know.
He jumps, I think, at any excuse to not follow through with HIS idea of getting together almost as though he's reaching for a rope, always wriggles out of dates that I try to set up (like he is being cornered into it), and then tries again. Weirdest thing I've ever encountered. Like he's despirate either way, then gets angry with himself, or me, or my availability, or whatever. I've told him flat out if he doesn't WANT to see me, I'm ok with that. It's completely up to him. There's no actual pressure, I have no negative feelings about his behavior. Just really odd.
But we are all different
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morgan5: personally i would not want someone with these kind of complications in my life.
But we are all different
But we are all different
Morgan!------ This thread is Archived ------
AnnBrown: Very interesting fellow...
Have you EVER met? At all?
If you have, maybe he fears dates as he's not ready to take it to the next level yet, for whatever reason? (I guess it CAN happen to guys too, however unlikely?
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AnnBrown: He calls himself a flake, seems genuinely embarrassed, hides for a couple of days, then 'tests' the waters.
I like him enough to hang in there if this is something that people do when they've really been hurt by a past relationship. In that way I can understand it. He may not be ready. As far as talking to him about it, it's like HE doesn't know.
He jumps, I think, at any excuse to not follow through with HIS idea of getting together almost as though he's reaching for a rope, always wriggles out of dates that I try to set up (like he is being cornered into it), and then tries again. Weirdest thing I've ever encountered. Like he's despirate either way, then gets angry with himself, or me, or my availability, or whatever. I've told him flat out if he doesn't WANT to see me, I'm ok with that. It's completely up to him. There's no actual pressure, I have no negative feelings about his behavior. Just really odd.
I like him enough to hang in there if this is something that people do when they've really been hurt by a past relationship. In that way I can understand it. He may not be ready. As far as talking to him about it, it's like HE doesn't know.
He jumps, I think, at any excuse to not follow through with HIS idea of getting together almost as though he's reaching for a rope, always wriggles out of dates that I try to set up (like he is being cornered into it), and then tries again. Weirdest thing I've ever encountered. Like he's despirate either way, then gets angry with himself, or me, or my availability, or whatever. I've told him flat out if he doesn't WANT to see me, I'm ok with that. It's completely up to him. There's no actual pressure, I have no negative feelings about his behavior. Just really odd.
Boy, I'd wonder if he has another relationship in his life that he's not telling you about. Alternately, I know that men of a certain age seem to have problems dealing with women of a certain age (we're talking the fifties and up here) being frank about what they want in a relationship. And I find that ironic, because most of my women friends have gotten more direct about what we want from men as we've gotten over the reproductive thing.
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morgan5: Are you letting them back?
YEah I with you Morgan. Sounds like they are both playing just different roles.------ This thread is Archived ------
Good4U2: YEah I with you Morgan. Sounds like they are both playing just different roles.
As far as me playing games, that is simply not the case. If he decided he wanted me, I'd be his. I'm just so taken aback by this behavior I'm having a hard time fathoming what it pertains to. Hence, my posting this thread.
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I looked at your profile and you appear to be a very desirable person. You have looks a profession and seem to not be weighed down with ex husbands or children.
So forget this clown I think you should focus of finding others to share time with or chat with or exchange views with or what ever it is that you do. If you keep coming back to a poor or undesirable situation then someone can smell the Desperation. Do yourself a favor and end it... for good.. Thats only my opinion but you ask. Move on and close the door behind you...
So forget this clown I think you should focus of finding others to share time with or chat with or exchange views with or what ever it is that you do. If you keep coming back to a poor or undesirable situation then someone can smell the Desperation. Do yourself a favor and end it... for good.. Thats only my opinion but you ask. Move on and close the door behind you...
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I looked at your profile and you appear to be a very desirable person. You have looks a profession and seem to not be weighed down with ex husbands or children.
So forget this clown I think you should focus of finding others to share time with or chat with or exchange views with or what ever it is that you do. If you keep coming back to a poor or undesirable situation then someone can smell the Desperation. Do yourself a favor and end it... for good.. Thats only my opinion but you ask. Move on and close the door behind you...
So forget this clown I think you should focus of finding others to share time with or chat with or exchange views with or what ever it is that you do. If you keep coming back to a poor or undesirable situation then someone can smell the Desperation. Do yourself a favor and end it... for good.. Thats only my opinion but you ask. Move on and close the door behind you...
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AnnBrown: As far as me playing games, that is simply not the case. If he decided he wanted me, I'd be his. I'm just so taken aback by this behavior I'm having a hard time fathoming what it pertains to. Hence, my posting this thread.
Sounds like it is control. He has control issues. You said he shies away or wriggles out of the dates you set up, but then turns up when it suits him....... Very telling that......
I also think that you like the fact you have found someone to study. It makes the whole scenario more interesting, and gives your life a bit of drama, (and I am fully expecting you to deny these theories too, as you did all the others).
I'd agree with the men though. He is getting something he wants from you, but he doesn't want you, except for what you are giving him.
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AnnBrown: As far as me playing games, that is simply not the case. If he decided he wanted me, I'd be his. I'm just so taken aback by this behavior I'm having a hard time fathoming what it pertains to. Hence, my posting this thread.
Think you posted a similiar thread before, and you are getting the same advice this time.If your happy with it then its your choice. But i think you are settling for being second best
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Created: Aug 2009
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Then they come around, and do the same thing again!
Then again!
I'm just curious, because I'm having this experience, and I'm half-amused by it. If they just want to escape, then why bother coming back?
Anyone have any legitimate ideas as to why this happens and what is probably going on in this person's mind?
It's kind of like watching someone put their foot in the water, only to jerk it back suddenly, then dip it in again, and have the same reaction. Do these waters eventually become comfortable?