Time Filler, Stepping Stone..Have You Been Used? (59)
mbcasey: I have a friend who is trying online dating at another site. He is good looking, successful, owns his own home, great personality and also a paraplegic.
He meets plenty of women online and even gets their phone numbers and talks to them. But when he wants to meet them, many have indicated they "just" found someone else or they are leaving the site.
This has happened to him more times than what could be considered usual.
He puts the time and effort getting to know these women (can go for men too, as I am not trying to pick on women) and then is dumped just before the big meet.
He feels like he is used, a time filler, a stepping stone until something more "desireable" comes along. He is VERY frustrated.
Has anyone ever been through something similar? Have you been used to fill the time until all of a sudden someone better comes along?
What advice would you give my friend?
Thanks...
No help here Ken. I haven't had that happen....ever. Maybe that does help insomuch as it IS unusual. No idea? Does he tell them about the challenge right before they bail?He meets plenty of women online and even gets their phone numbers and talks to them. But when he wants to meet them, many have indicated they "just" found someone else or they are leaving the site.
This has happened to him more times than what could be considered usual.
He puts the time and effort getting to know these women (can go for men too, as I am not trying to pick on women) and then is dumped just before the big meet.
He feels like he is used, a time filler, a stepping stone until something more "desireable" comes along. He is VERY frustrated.
Has anyone ever been through something similar? Have you been used to fill the time until all of a sudden someone better comes along?
What advice would you give my friend?
Thanks...
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bob1959: No help here Ken. I haven't had that happen....ever. Maybe that does help insomuch as it IS unusual. No idea? Does he tell them about the challenge right before they bail?
Yes...he lets people know in the 1st e-mail, AND it is indicated in his profile too.
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Thats terrible- unfortunately people are like that and I think we have all been used in that way at one time or another whether we realize it or not . I wish him luck.
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gemeh22: Thats terrible- unfortunately people are like that and I think we have all been used in that way at one time or another whether we realize it or not . I wish him luck.
Thanks Gemeh...any advice for him?
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mbcasey: Yes...he lets people know in the 1st e-mail, AND it is indicated in his profile too.
check that one off the list.------ This thread is Archived ------
bob1959: check that one off the list.
Any advice Bob? My friend is so frustrated...he is such a great guy too.
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you know me
im from the school of no victims only volunteers
we are grown up now
we know deep inside if something is the same thing all over again
why do we go forward anyway is the question
not saying it doesnt hurt each time cuz i know it does
im not saying i am evolved- but on some fronts, yes, id like to think i shed my blinders, did my time in solitary and then had consistent standards until i achieved the goal
after only what? 30 yrs of doing the same thing and getting the same result?
he should switch something up cuz his current method aint workin
maybe he should try to meet sooner than later
lots of people are for that
i mean whats a coffee?
if she wont meet you for a coffee she isnt interested anyway
so on to the next *high five*
im from the school of no victims only volunteers
we are grown up now
we know deep inside if something is the same thing all over again
why do we go forward anyway is the question
not saying it doesnt hurt each time cuz i know it does
im not saying i am evolved- but on some fronts, yes, id like to think i shed my blinders, did my time in solitary and then had consistent standards until i achieved the goal
after only what? 30 yrs of doing the same thing and getting the same result?
he should switch something up cuz his current method aint workin
maybe he should try to meet sooner than later
lots of people are for that
i mean whats a coffee?
if she wont meet you for a coffee she isnt interested anyway
so on to the next *high five*
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I really dont know honestly, just not to give up because I believe the right one will come along - maybe its who he picks as potential partners maybe they enjoy talking to him but really cant handle a relationship with someone with a disability right or wrong some people just cant get past it and its unfortunate. I dont know what kind of woman he is going after if its more based on looks or based on their heart.
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mbcasey: Any advice Bob? My friend is so frustrated...he is such a great guy too.
I"m sure he is Ken. I've seen some specialized Dating sights.(mature, race specific, even one for people with herpes) Are there any sites for people with your friend's challenge?------ This thread is Archived ------
mbcasey: I have a friend who is trying online dating at another site. He is good looking, successful, owns his own home, great personality and also a paraplegic.
He meets plenty of women online and even gets their phone numbers and talks to them. But when he wants to meet them, many have indicated they "just" found someone else or they are leaving the site.
This has happened to him more times than what could be considered usual.
He puts the time and effort getting to know these women (can go for men too, as I am not trying to pick on women) and then is dumped just before the big meet.
He feels like he is used, a time filler, a stepping stone until something more "desireable" comes along. He is VERY frustrated.
Has anyone ever been through something similar? Have you been used to fill the time until all of a sudden someone better comes along?
What advice would you give my friend?
Thanks...
someones filler they were waiting for someone to hit the bell first and that was to come see them forget about all what we shared and talked about just kicked to the curb because of someone else and it may not even work out and you threw away a great friendship that could have been He meets plenty of women online and even gets their phone numbers and talks to them. But when he wants to meet them, many have indicated they "just" found someone else or they are leaving the site.
This has happened to him more times than what could be considered usual.
He puts the time and effort getting to know these women (can go for men too, as I am not trying to pick on women) and then is dumped just before the big meet.
He feels like he is used, a time filler, a stepping stone until something more "desireable" comes along. He is VERY frustrated.
Has anyone ever been through something similar? Have you been used to fill the time until all of a sudden someone better comes along?
What advice would you give my friend?
Thanks...
your friend has to be strong and if he is sharing his disablity up front people can be scared of what they do not quite understand he will have to have some patience and dont put all his hope in online dating it can be cruler than what is out there in the world right outside his front door
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mindfful: you know me
im from the school of no victims only volunteers
we are grown up now
we know deep inside if something is the same thing all over again
why do we go forward anyway is the question
not saying it doesnt hurt each time cuz i know it does
im not saying i am evolved- but on some fronts, yes, id like to think i shed my blinders, did my time in solitary and then had consistent standards until i achieved the goal
after only what? 30 yrs of doing the same thing and getting the same result?
he should switch something up cuz his current method aint workinmaybe he should try to meet sooner than later
lots of people are for that
i mean whats a coffee?
if she wont meet you for a coffee she isnt interested anyway
so on to the next *high five*
im from the school of no victims only volunteers
we are grown up now
we know deep inside if something is the same thing all over again
why do we go forward anyway is the question
not saying it doesnt hurt each time cuz i know it does
im not saying i am evolved- but on some fronts, yes, id like to think i shed my blinders, did my time in solitary and then had consistent standards until i achieved the goal
after only what? 30 yrs of doing the same thing and getting the same result?
he should switch something up cuz his current method aint workinmaybe he should try to meet sooner than later
lots of people are for that
i mean whats a coffee?
if she wont meet you for a coffee she isnt interested anyway
so on to the next *high five*
He wants to meet them sooner rather than later, but the women want to find out more about him through e-mail and calls thus the delay.
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mbcasey: I have a friend who is trying online dating at another site. He is good looking, successful, owns his own home, great personality and also a paraplegic.
He meets plenty of women online and even gets their phone numbers and talks to them. But when he wants to meet them, many have indicated they "just" found someone else or they are leaving the site.
This has happened to him more times than what could be considered usual.
He puts the time and effort getting to know these women (can go for men too, as I am not trying to pick on women) and then is dumped just before the big meet.
He feels like he is used, a time filler, a stepping stone until something more "desireable" comes along. He is VERY frustrated.
Has anyone ever been through something similar? Have you been used to fill the time until all of a sudden someone better comes along?
What advice would you give my friend?
Thanks...
He meets plenty of women online and even gets their phone numbers and talks to them. But when he wants to meet them, many have indicated they "just" found someone else or they are leaving the site.
This has happened to him more times than what could be considered usual.
He puts the time and effort getting to know these women (can go for men too, as I am not trying to pick on women) and then is dumped just before the big meet.
He feels like he is used, a time filler, a stepping stone until something more "desireable" comes along. He is VERY frustrated.
Has anyone ever been through something similar? Have you been used to fill the time until all of a sudden someone better comes along?
What advice would you give my friend?
Thanks...
Yep, everytime anyman contacts me; he is out to use me as a stepping stone. Advice to your friend is to get off the dating site and get a professional matchmaker. He won't meet anyone good on a dating site; just game players.
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gemeh22: I really dont know honestly, just not to give up because I believe the right one will come along - maybe its who he picks as potential partners maybe they enjoy talking to him but really cant handle a relationship with someone with a disability right or wrong some people just cant get past it and its unfortunate. I dont know what kind of woman he is going after if its more based on looks or based on their heart.
I am not sure about who he is going after too. I think you are right...some people can't handle it and I don't blame them.
Being disabled myself, I understand why women are put off by me having bipolar disorder.
He is like a little brother to me and I want to help him. I don't know what to tell him though...
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bob1959: I"m sure he is Ken. I've seen some specialized Dating sights.(mature, race specific, even one for people with herpes) Are there any sites for people with your friend's challenge?
I don't know if he has looked but I have. Most sites like that Bob are pay sites. Maybe he needs to do that in order to find someone. Good thinking....
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lovely4u7da: someones filler they were waiting for someone to hit the bell first and that was to come see them forget about all what we shared and talked about just kicked to the curb because of someone else and it may not even work out and you threw away a great friendship that could have been
your friend has to be strong and if he is sharing his disablity up front people can be scared of what they do not quite understand he will have to have some patience and dont put all his hope in online dating it can be cruler than what is out there in the world right outside his front door
your friend has to be strong and if he is sharing his disablity up front people can be scared of what they do not quite understand he will have to have some patience and dont put all his hope in online dating it can be cruler than what is out there in the world right outside his front door
Yep---online dating is cruel...
So is the real world ...he is very active, goes out a lot and even does volunteer work. Women won't give him a chance in the real world either.
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mbcasey: Yes...he lets people know in the 1st e-mail, AND it is indicated in his profile too.
If most people are willing to date someone disable why is knowing all his business up front so important does he think they are being cheated or wronged if he does not list the challenges on his profile or emails------ This thread is Archived ------
navygirl1: Yep, everytime anyman contacts me; he is out to use me as a stepping stone. Advice to your friend is to get off the dating site and get a professional matchmaker. He won't meet anyone good on a dating site; just game players.
Maybe that would be the best thing for him...thanks.
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lovely4u7da: If most people are willing to date someone disable why is knowing all his business up front so important does he think they are being cheated or wronged if he does not list the challenges on his profile or emails
He is an honest man. He believes in being up front so he doesn't waste time the other way. Someone gets to know him and then he tells them about the wheelchair and then they get mad at him and dump him. Why go through all of that?
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mbcasey: I don't know if he has looked but I have. Most sites like that Bob are pay sites. Maybe he needs to do that in order to find someone. Good thinking....
I met the nicest girl on match (pay site)Didn't work out, but it WAS a pay site.
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Created: Apr 2010
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He meets plenty of women online and even gets their phone numbers and talks to them. But when he wants to meet them, many have indicated they "just" found someone else or they are leaving the site.
This has happened to him more times than what could be considered usual.
He puts the time and effort getting to know these women (can go for men too, as I am not trying to pick on women) and then is dumped just before the big meet.
He feels like he is used, a time filler, a stepping stone until something more "desireable" comes along. He is VERY frustrated.
Has anyone ever been through something similar? Have you been used to fill the time until all of a sudden someone better comes along?
What advice would you give my friend?
Thanks...