Being thick skinned ,is it really a good thing (112)
GalwayGuy35: Not sure on that one. We have all been let down but we have to keep going. Just dont see the point living in the past pondering on relationships that didnt work. I agree its important to be caring but there is a fine line between that and looking for a sympathy vote which i think some are.
Perhaps ...but who are we to judge this ...see this is sort of what I mean...are we so fast to judge others and ourselves that it stops us from being "real" ...is that putting others off or stopping us from "allowing" us to find someone...
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venusenvy: I see what your saying...but I think love is strong enough to blow down walls and really arent we all vunerable to love? But I do see how some peeps end up guarding thier hearts to the exclusion of love...Ive seen that in action...but no man is an island! But in the end I think those peeps are the ones that tumble hardest. After all, its a looong fall from the top of a wall...ask Humpty
I like to think so...and hope you are correct...
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davpk10: I agree...but it is hard to know when it is time for what tho...
I hear ya on that one.....
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2intrigued: I hear ya on that one.....
Thats the beauty of my theory....if we accept others for who they are and they accept us as well ,then there would be no real need to worry about walking that line as both know we cannot always be "just so".....
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I am myself on the forums...im looking for perfect for me,so i show my true self.I don't have a thick skin,so i try to stay away from people that would get under my skin.Nobody likes everybody,so of course there is some negative posting at times,i treat it like a grain of salt and move on.I know some of us get our feelings hurt from time to time,i just look at the sourse.It never hurts to listen from people with different views from our own,truth fully i have learned a lot on here and have made some great friends. 
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demonfairy: I am myself on the forums...im looking for perfect for me,so i show my true self.I don't have a thick skin,so i try to stay away from people that would get under my skin.Nobody likes everybody,so of course there is some negative posting at times,i treat it like a grain of salt and move on.I know some of us get our feelings hurt from time to time,i just look at the sourse.It never hurts to listen from people with different views from our own,truth fully i have learned a lot on here and have made some great friends.
That's a great outlook I think ...you should do well IMO....------ This thread is Archived ------
I think it is all about having a balance.
I seem to do ok,I have a chip on both shoulders!
I seem to do ok,I have a chip on both shoulders!
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tightboxers: I think it is all about having a balance.
I seem to do ok,I have a chip on both shoulders!
If that works for you then go with it I'd say....I seem to do ok,I have a chip on both shoulders!
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davpk10: Thats the beauty of my theory....if we accept others for who they are and they accept us as well ,then there would be no real need to worry about walking that line as both know we cannot always be "just so".....
Acceptance of one another has become the biggest challenge on dating sites methinks.....it's a challenge to separate the sincere, kind hearted people from the uncaring, selfish and cold hearted.....
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2intrigued: Acceptance of one another has become the biggest challenge on dating sites methinks.....it's a challenge to separate the sincere, kind hearted people from the uncaring, selfish and cold hearted.....
Ahhh perhaps your on to something here....I think we all have all of these things in us...
but hopfully the latter out weights the former....
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davpk10: Ahhh perhaps your on to something here....I think we all have all of these things in us... but hopfully the latter out weights the former....
I said that backwards....
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davpk10: Ahhh perhaps your on to something here....I think we all have all of these things in us... but hopfully the latter out weights the former....
Hopefully so, but having a masters degree in psychology may be necessary to weed out the nasty ones....and if we had that degree, we wouldn't be here
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2intrigued: Hopefully so, but having a masters degree in psychology may be necessary to weed out the nasty ones....and if we had that degree, we wouldn't be here
Is it?Or just be aware?
Don't get me wrong I believe some need to be kicked to the curb...but not for some meaningless infraction of habit or personality....Less of course it is simply to annoying to bare,but then is that thier fault or yours?...
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davpk10: Is it?Or just be aware?Don't get me wrong I believe some need to be kicked to the curb...but not for some meaningless infraction of habit or personality....Less of course it is simply to annoying to bare,but then is that thier fault or yours?...
Be very aware and even then, you're never sure...some are masters of the game and can play it like a finely tuned violin....I know first hand, the angels turning into demons and the demons actually being angels underneath the hard shell....the trick is getting through the shell
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I think there's a difference between being thick-skinned and learning not to take things personal. I mean, things people say about me might hurt if they actually knew who I was, but since they don't, they can't, in truth, make a comment that hurts unless they do it by sheer accident.
I know who I am. I know what I do and why I do it. If people infer things about me that are incorrect, or perhaps skewed by who they are, then I'm not responsible for their feelings.
Any attempt to make me responsible for their feelings exhibits an even more profound ignorance of me than can be construed from the general ignorance of being a far-away stranger limited by a textual format of exchange.
Do not equate kindness with weakness. Strength of character is not something based on my height or weight or overall attractiveness. At the end of the day, when everyone logs off, I still have to live with me. Thick-skinned, maybe. Maybe not. Comfortable in that skin, no matter what the thickness, definitely.
I know who I am. I know what I do and why I do it. If people infer things about me that are incorrect, or perhaps skewed by who they are, then I'm not responsible for their feelings.
Any attempt to make me responsible for their feelings exhibits an even more profound ignorance of me than can be construed from the general ignorance of being a far-away stranger limited by a textual format of exchange.
Do not equate kindness with weakness. Strength of character is not something based on my height or weight or overall attractiveness. At the end of the day, when everyone logs off, I still have to live with me. Thick-skinned, maybe. Maybe not. Comfortable in that skin, no matter what the thickness, definitely.
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2intrigued: Be very aware and even then, you're never sure...some are masters of the game and can play it like a finely tuned violin....I know first hand, the angels turning into demons and the demons actually being angels underneath the hard shell....the trick is getting through the shell
I agree.... But the sprit of the thread is about are we too protective and defensive of ourselves to allow us to show that we are a compassionate being wanting someone to just simply love us...
And willing to work towards that goal
It is more about us than them..as it takes two to make it as well as break it...
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Galactic_bodhi: I think there's a difference between being thick-skinned and learning not to take things personal. I mean, things people say about me might hurt if they actually knew who I was, but since they don't, they can't, in truth, make a comment that hurts unless they do it by sheer accident.
I know who I am. I know what I do and why I do it. If people infer things about me that are incorrect, or perhaps skewed by who they are, then I'm not responsible for their feelings.
Any attempt to make me responsible for their feelings exhibits an even more profound ignorance of me than can be construed from the general ignorance of being a far-away stranger limited by a textual format of exchange.
Do not equate kindness with weakness. Strength of character is not something based on my height or weight or overall attractiveness. At the end of the day, when everyone logs off, I still have to live with me. Thick-skinned, maybe. Maybe not. Comfortable in that skin, no matter what the thickness, definitely.
As long as your happy....and by your photo it seems you may very well be...I know who I am. I know what I do and why I do it. If people infer things about me that are incorrect, or perhaps skewed by who they are, then I'm not responsible for their feelings.
Any attempt to make me responsible for their feelings exhibits an even more profound ignorance of me than can be construed from the general ignorance of being a far-away stranger limited by a textual format of exchange.
Do not equate kindness with weakness. Strength of character is not something based on my height or weight or overall attractiveness. At the end of the day, when everyone logs off, I still have to live with me. Thick-skinned, maybe. Maybe not. Comfortable in that skin, no matter what the thickness, definitely.
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davpk10: Of course ....as long as you do not allow this to stop you from being "open" to someone new.....
I am 52 and have seen many women come and go and trust me ANY relationship takes work and hard work at that ....but ANYTHING worth having is worth working for....The trick is I think is finding someone that is willing to work with you and not against you....
I am 52 and have seen many women come and go and trust me ANY relationship takes work and hard work at that ....but ANYTHING worth having is worth working for....The trick is I think is finding someone that is willing to work with you and not against you....
The other person cannot be working WITH you if they are constantly lying TO you. I'm NOT going to continue trying to keep a relationship alive when it's really NO decent sort of relationship when the other person cannot stop lying.
Constantly lying is NOT in my opinion "trying to work with you."
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other: The opposite of vulnerable is not thick skinned, but secure in yourself.
wrong the opposite to vulnerable is safe
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We have to embrace our own faults as well as others and allow a bit of vulnerablity to shine though so that someone may feel thay are a bit of a "Hero" if you will...