Being thick skinned ,is it really a good thing (112)
otherImaginary place, Tierra del Fuego Argentina96 Postspedro27: wrong the opposite to vulnerable is safe
Oh... silly me 
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Restless_Rebel: The other person cannot be working WITH you if they are constantly lying TO you. I'm NOT going to continue trying to keep a relationship alive when it's really NO decent sort of relationship when the other person cannot stop lying.
Constantly lying is NOT in my opinion "trying to work with you."
Of course not ...as I said as long as it does not jade your views...Constantly lying is NOT in my opinion "trying to work with you."
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davpk10: I agree.... But the sprit of the thread is about are we too protective and defensive of ourselves to allow us to show that we are a compassionate being wanting someone to just simply love us...
And willing to work towards that goal
It is more about us than them..as it takes two to make it as well as break it...
And willing to work towards that goal
It is more about us than them..as it takes two to make it as well as break it...
So if I understand you right you're wandering if certain relationships have worked to make a person so hardened that they feel a need to overly protect themselves from further hurt(?)
To this is I say every now and then one needs to retreat and mend the hurts of the past like a butterfly building a cocoon. Then when the time is right you can emerge ready for the rest of life. The cocoon serves a purpose but there comes a time when it must be cast off, butterflies aren't meant to stay in this shell forever- its all about timing. What do you think would happen to the butterfly that stays too long in its shell? When you get the timing right and a person is truly ready wonderful things can happen.
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tainogirl: So if I understand you right you're wandering if certain relationships have worked to make a person so hardened that they feel a need to overly protect themselves from further hurt(?)
To this is I say every now and then one needs to retreat and mend the hurts of the past like a butterfly building a cocoon. Then when the time is right you can emerge ready for the rest of life. The cocoon serves a purpose but there comes a time when it must be cast off, butterflies aren't meant to stay in this shell forever- its all about timing. What do you think would happen to the butterfly that stays too long in its shell? When you get the timing right and a person is truly ready wonderful things can happen.
Very good way of looking at it....and if the timing is right it will work (with a little push now and then)..To this is I say every now and then one needs to retreat and mend the hurts of the past like a butterfly building a cocoon. Then when the time is right you can emerge ready for the rest of life. The cocoon serves a purpose but there comes a time when it must be cast off, butterflies aren't meant to stay in this shell forever- its all about timing. What do you think would happen to the butterfly that stays too long in its shell? When you get the timing right and a person is truly ready wonderful things can happen.
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tightboxers: I think it is all about having a balance.
I seem to do ok,I have a chip on both shoulders!
I seem to do ok,I have a chip on both shoulders!
Puts a new slant on shoulder pads, which are back in fashion!
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Galactic_bodhi: I think there's a difference between being thick-skinned and learning not to take things personal. I mean, things people say about me might hurt if they actually knew who I was, but since they don't, they can't, in truth, make a comment that hurts unless they do it by sheer accident.
I know who I am. I know what I do and why I do it. If people infer things about me that are incorrect, or perhaps skewed by who they are, then I'm not responsible for their feelings.
Any attempt to make me responsible for their feelings exhibits an even more profound ignorance of me than can be construed from the general ignorance of being a far-away stranger limited by a textual format of exchange.
Do not equate kindness with weakness. Strength of character is not something based on my height or weight or overall attractiveness. At the end of the day, when everyone logs off, I still have to live with me. Thick-skinned, maybe. Maybe not. Comfortable in that skin, no matter what the thickness, definitely.
I know who I am. I know what I do and why I do it. If people infer things about me that are incorrect, or perhaps skewed by who they are, then I'm not responsible for their feelings.
Any attempt to make me responsible for their feelings exhibits an even more profound ignorance of me than can be construed from the general ignorance of being a far-away stranger limited by a textual format of exchange.
Do not equate kindness with weakness. Strength of character is not something based on my height or weight or overall attractiveness. At the end of the day, when everyone logs off, I still have to live with me. Thick-skinned, maybe. Maybe not. Comfortable in that skin, no matter what the thickness, definitely.
And, as I think applies absolutely to this thread, DO NOT EQUATE A SHARP TONGUE WITH STRENGTH.
I think thats what this thread is really about; people coming across as sharp tongued, quick with the clever reposte, seemingly untouchable emotionally..
When, in actuality, alot of these people are easily hurt, sensitive and not as blase about what others say as they make out.
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DodgeBabe: And, as I think applies absolutely to this thread, DO NOT EQUATE A SHARP TONGUE WITH STRENGTH.
I think thats what this thread is really about; people coming across as sharp tongued, quick with the clever reposte, seemingly untouchable emotionally..
When, in actuality, alot of these people are easily hurt, sensitive and not as blase about what others say as they make out.
I think we are all like this, to differant degrees of course....And I see showing that certain things do hurt is not, or at least should not be embarrassing ....I think sometimes showing the un-hurt in control side of us all hinders ourselves more than we realize...I think thats what this thread is really about; people coming across as sharp tongued, quick with the clever reposte, seemingly untouchable emotionally..
When, in actuality, alot of these people are easily hurt, sensitive and not as blase about what others say as they make out.
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davpk10: Very good way of looking at it....and if the timing is right it will work (with a little push now and then)..
I used to raise Monarch Butterflies as a kid, good to see what I learned back then came in handy for something.
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tainogirl: 'I used to raise Monarch Butterflies as a kid, good to see what I learned back then came in handy for something.
Motherly as well.....
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I think it is very important to have a thick skin. I think my skin is very thick but still from time to time all the nonsense on these sites and in the real world gets to me a little. I just brush it off and move on.. NEXT
Laurel
Laurel
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davpk10: I mean here on the forums (and in real life if you will) we all have to have a "thick skin" to survive....At least we think we do...
So is that a good thing or bad..
Are we so thick skinned we do not allow others to get close as we fear being seen as vulnerable...and if we are vulnerable is that really a bad thing?Sometimes I think everyone (here and in real life) is to busy trying to be seen as a tough guy/gal to allow someone to get close, as they are scared to be taken as weak....I could be wrong of coures....
So is that a good thing or bad..
Are we so thick skinned we do not allow others to get close as we fear being seen as vulnerable...and if we are vulnerable is that really a bad thing?Sometimes I think everyone (here and in real life) is to busy trying to be seen as a tough guy/gal to allow someone to get close, as they are scared to be taken as weak....I could be wrong of coures....
I was discussing this with a friend today,I'm not thick skinned really,but I don't let anyone close unless they have well and truly proved themselves in actions-which takes time.I find guys see that I am keeping my distance and give up...too quickly.
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tomboygirl: I was discussing this with a friend today,I'm not thick skinned really,but I don't let anyone close unless they have well and truly proved themselves in actions-which takes time.I find guys see that I am keeping my distance and give up...too quickly.
As Dr. Phil would say..."how has this been working for you?".....------ This thread is Archived ------
davpk10: I think we are all like this, to differant degrees of course....And I see showing that certain things do hurt is not, or at least should not be embarrassing ....I think sometimes showing the un-hurt in control side of us all hinders ourselves more than we realize...
Not necessarily,there are people who feed off inciting strong emotion/reactions in others.Its a protective measure,and there for good reason.
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davpk10: As Dr. Phil would say..."how has this been working for you?".....
A lot better than when I was hurt over and again.I can view someone in a detached manner,suss out if they are a jerk and kick em too the kerb without feeling more that disappointment.which makes me stronger...just got to find a way to keep the good one's close long enough to analyze them sufficiently
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tomboygirl: Not necessarily,there are people who feed off inciting strong emotion/reactions in others.Its a protective measure,and there for good reason.
Ok let me ask you something.....Lets say you let this guy in closer than normally ....then out of the blue he screws up and down the road he goes ...does not matter if you put him out or if he did it his self...But you still experianced something in life and you are richer for that experiance.....
Allowing someone to get close could be a hurtful thing or a wonderful thing eather way you win for experiancing it...
I see it as a win win situation...
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davpk10: I mean here on the forums (and in real life if you will) we all have to have a "thick skin" to survive....At least we think we do...
So is that a good thing or bad..
Are we so thick skinned we do not allow others to get close as we fear being seen as vulnerable...and if we are vulnerable is that really a bad thing?Sometimes I think everyone (here and in real life) is to busy trying to be seen as a tough guy/gal to allow someone to get close, as they are scared to be taken as weak....I could be wrong of coures....
So is that a good thing or bad..
Are we so thick skinned we do not allow others to get close as we fear being seen as vulnerable...and if we are vulnerable is that really a bad thing?Sometimes I think everyone (here and in real life) is to busy trying to be seen as a tough guy/gal to allow someone to get close, as they are scared to be taken as weak....I could be wrong of coures....
Think we are all a little thick skinned sometimes, its called self preservation. But i can normally spot a fake a mile away and i guess i do put up barriers with that type of person. Having said that i am always prepared to give the said person the benefit of the doubt,but let me down twice and your history mate!
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englishelegance: Think we are all a little thick skinned sometimes, its called self preservation. But i can normally spot a fake a mile away and i guess i do put up barriers with that type of person. Having said that i am always prepared to give the said person the benefit of the doubt,but let me down twice and your history mate!
oh go shoot something with a gun.....
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davpk10: Ok let me ask you something.....Lets say you let this guy in closer than normally ....then out of the blue he screws up and down the road he goes ...does not matter if you put him out or if he did it his self...
But you still experianced something in life and you are richer for that experiance.....Allowing someone to get close could be a hurtful thing or a wonderful thing eather way you win for experiancing it... I see it as a win win situation...
But you still experianced something in life and you are richer for that experiance.....Allowing someone to get close could be a hurtful thing or a wonderful thing eather way you win for experiancing it... I see it as a win win situation...
Too naive luv-I don't see it as a win-win situation as a huge proportion of the male population over here are looking to score and add a notch to the bed post,and then brag about it.I live in a villagelike society with old fashioned values,reputations are easily earned and I prefer to keep men at arms length until I've worked out whats on the agenda..
sure if I was a guy..perhaps I could say I walked away richer in experience..
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tomboygirl: Too naive luv-I don't see it as a win-win situation as a huge proportion of the male population over here are looking to score and add a notch to the bed post,and then brag about it.I live in a villagelike society with old fashioned values,reputations are easily earned and I prefer to keep men at arms length until I've worked out whats on the agenda..
sure if I was a guy..perhaps I could say I walked away richer in experience..
so thier is a differance because of gender....I live in a very small town as well ,everyone knows everyone....of course you have to be careful but don't lock the doors eather...sure if I was a guy..perhaps I could say I walked away richer in experience..
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davpk10: so thier is a differance because of gender....I live in a very small town as well ,everyone knows everyone....of course you have to be careful but don't lock the doors eather...
The doors locked but i got a little window...and the key lol
Wish I was guy...
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