Jealousy (271)
Laura25: How do you go about communicating it? It could easy be a recipe for disaster, no?
Very often it is, yes.
So are we all so secure and self-confident that we have to deny feeling jealousy which is triggered by insecurity, instead of doing something about it?
That's part of my OP question.
Hi Ruben Great to see you.
Very often it is, yes.
So are we all so secure and self-confident that we have to deny feeling jealousy which is triggered by insecurity, instead of doing something about it?
That's part of my OP question.
Hi Ruben Great to see you.
It can be, but it can be communicated in a positive loving way. 'Your paying too much attention to that guy, I'm jealous!! Can be said with loving eyes and a big smile! If I had someone that communicated like that I would say. "So, it may appear, but your the only one for me, your like no other"(to put it mildly, I don't want to get too sappy here!)
If there is a will, there is always a way.It's also true that we are all also insecure in one way, degree or another. We are insecure about our hair, weight, and a host of many things, but communicating those insecurities will allow our significant other to play them down, reduce them as flows of unique beauty, what makes them special and above everyone else.
Communication to me, is the key to everything, why try to read someone's mind, when they can tell you exactly what their thinking and if negative, it can be talked-out and remedied.
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In response to: Jealousy is a normal human emotion.
Just like any other -- love, fear, sadness, joy, anger, etc., etc.
Why is that most CSers try so hard convincing each other
that they themselves never experience this *dirty* emotion and
don't want anything to do with those who do feel this emotion?
Hypocrisy?
Denial?
Popcorn?
Just like any other -- love, fear, sadness, joy, anger, etc., etc.
Why is that most CSers try so hard convincing each other
that they themselves never experience this *dirty* emotion and
don't want anything to do with those who do feel this emotion?
Hypocrisy?
Denial?
Popcorn?
i would never admit to feelings of jealousy!...it's a fact, but i know people are human and make errors and so do i, sometimes errors can lead to misunderstandings and unecessary jealousy. but if we didn't feel the jealousy would it be because we didn't care in the first place?
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jac379: I was thinking of jealousy in general, rather than specifically in relationships, as well.
Maybe lack of jealousy is the opposite of self-confidence. Maybe it could be so little self-confidence that you have no expectations that anyone will like you and expect somebody you are involved with to admire elsewhere.
Jac xxx
Maybe lack of jealousy is the opposite of self-confidence. Maybe it could be so little self-confidence that you have no expectations that anyone will like you and expect somebody you are involved with to admire elsewhere.
Jac xxx
Jealousy may be related to feelings about your own worth, but not necessarily so. It's a fairly small part of equation.
Self-confidence is something I don't lack, but I do experience jealousy sometimes. And I don't believe anyone who pretends not to, ever.
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rubendario: It can be, but it can be communicated in a positive loving way. 'Your paying too much attention to that guy, I'm jealous!! Can be said with loving eyes and a big smile! If I had someone that communicated like that I would say. "So, it may appear, but your the only one for me, your like no other"(to put it mildly, I don't want to get too sappy here!) If there is a will, there is always a way.
It's also true that we are all also insecure in one way, degree or another. We are insecure about our hair, weight, and a host of many things, but communicating those insecurities will allow our significant other to play them down, reduce them as flows of unique beauty, what makes them special and above everyone else.
Communication to me, is the key to everything, why try to read someone's mind, when they can tell you exactly what their thinking and if negative, it can be talked-out and remedied.
It's also true that we are all also insecure in one way, degree or another. We are insecure about our hair, weight, and a host of many things, but communicating those insecurities will allow our significant other to play them down, reduce them as flows of unique beauty, what makes them special and above everyone else.
Communication to me, is the key to everything, why try to read someone's mind, when they can tell you exactly what their thinking and if negative, it can be talked-out and remedied.
i agree------ This thread is Archived ------
Ladybee42: i would never admit to feelings of jealousy!...it's a fact, but i know people are human and make errors and so do i, sometimes errors can lead to misunderstandings and unecessary jealousy. but if we didn't feel the jealousy would it be because we didn't care in the first place?
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Laura25: Jealousy may be related to feelings about your own worth, but not necessarily so. It's a fairly small part of equation.
Self-confidence is something I don't lack, but I do experience jealousy sometimes. And I don't believe anyone who pretends not to, ever.
Self-confidence is something I don't lack, but I do experience jealousy sometimes. And I don't believe anyone who pretends not to, ever.
Well, we all wrestle our own demons eh...I know mine is patience, Thats the lesson I have to learn this life. But, I truly cant even remember the last time I experienced jealousy.
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Laura25: Jealousy may be related to feelings about your own worth, but not necessarily so. It's a fairly small part of equation.
Self-confidence is something I don't lack, but I do experience jealousy sometimes. And I don't believe anyone who pretends not to, ever.
Self-confidence is something I don't lack, but I do experience jealousy sometimes. And I don't believe anyone who pretends not to, ever.
You don't believe anyone who pretends not to? What about autistic people? There's a sliding scale of autism, most of us have some traits, some can be fairly autistic and still function in society. I believe my father is about as autistic as you can get and still live a "normal" life. I think he has no concept of jealousy, whatsoever.
Jac xxx
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i feel it just when somebody is important for me and my heart is beating for her like this::heartbeating:
but it is a wide topic,some may be crazy,paranouid,narsist ,...
but it is a wide topic,some may be crazy,paranouid,narsist ,...
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Laura25: Jealousy is a normal human emotion.
Just like any other -- love, fear, sadness, joy, anger, etc., etc.
Why is that most CSers try so hard convincing each other
that they themselves never experience this *dirty* emotion and
don't want anything to do with those who do feel this emotion?
Hypocrisy?
Denial?
Popcorn?
Just like any other -- love, fear, sadness, joy, anger, etc., etc.
Why is that most CSers try so hard convincing each other
that they themselves never experience this *dirty* emotion and
don't want anything to do with those who do feel this emotion?
Hypocrisy?
Denial?
Popcorn?
Jealousy is unhealthy and is a response to selflove not to love other. My ego could be out of proportion but I am not a Jealous person.
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lifeisadream: Jealousy is unhealthy and is a response to selflove not to love other. My ego could be out of proportion but I am not a Jealous person.
but don't you have to have a certain amount of 'selflove'?
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jac379: I was thinking of jealousy in general, rather than specifically in relationships, as well.
Maybe lack of jealousy is the opposite of self-confidence. Maybe it could be so little self-confidence that you have no expectations that anyone will like you and expect somebody you are involved with to admire elsewhere.
Jac xxx
Maybe lack of jealousy is the opposite of self-confidence. Maybe it could be so little self-confidence that you have no expectations that anyone will like you and expect somebody you are involved with to admire elsewhere.
Jac xxx
I dont agree, I have very healthy self esteem.
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I can be jealous....but simply because i lack self confidence.
I look at the grass always being greener on the other side.
Its a trait i hate in me
I look at the grass always being greener on the other side.
Its a trait i hate in me
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Ladybee42: but don't you have to have a certain amount of 'selflove'?
Of course, as a person I do but I was refering to a couple love.
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I can't say I have ever experienced that deep emotion, I mild momentary envy perhaps which is normal I would think. I'm not saying I am immune to it, just not experienced it yet thankfully.
It can be such a destructive state of mind that's for sure.
It can be such a destructive state of mind that's for sure.
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Was a jealous person a long time ago.
I haven't learned much in life but I did realize jealousy is a destructive emotion.
I have been able to put jealousy way down on my list and have adopted trust instead. Yes I sometimes get tinges of jealousy here and there but only for an instant.
Good thread Laura...
I haven't learned much in life but I did realize jealousy is a destructive emotion.
I have been able to put jealousy way down on my list and have adopted trust instead. Yes I sometimes get tinges of jealousy here and there but only for an instant.
Good thread Laura...
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RDM59: I can use a translator if that would help,
what languages don't you know, smartie pants ? .....
what languages don't you know, smartie pants ? .....
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venusenvy: I dont agree, I have very healthy self esteem.
You also said that you can't remeber the last time you felt jealousy.
I think that a person can have a very healthy self-esteem, but have blips of insecurity.
If there is distrust in a relationship, as Laura suggested, isn't that an insecurity?
I kind of think that nothing is ever simple, or straight forward. Maybe for one person jealousy is rooted in low self-esteem, for another lack of jealousy is rooted in low self-esteem.
Another complexity is if an emotion comes from several and even opposing sources, within the same person.
So what do you think is the root of jealousy?
Jac xxx
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Here we go...I completely disagree...I feel the traits you describe above are reflections of an unhealthy, unbalanced, Ego.
I am certainly not a liar, Ive never cheated in my life, And cant remember the last time I felt jealousy. I try to live an honest life.
Im far from a saint, but for gods sake, I dont go about lying, cheating, behaving jealously.
The whole " Protest too much" is a total set-up and one I wont walk quietly into ...thanks.
I am certainly not a liar, Ive never cheated in my life, And cant remember the last time I felt jealousy. I try to live an honest life.
Im far from a saint, but for gods sake, I dont go about lying, cheating, behaving jealously.
The whole " Protest too much" is a total set-up and one I wont walk quietly into ...thanks.
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jac379: You also said that you can't remeber the last time you felt jealousy.
I think that a person can have a very healthy self-esteem, but have blips of insecurity.
If there is distrust in a relationship, as Laura suggested, isn't that an insecurity?
I kind of think that nothing is ever simple, or straight forward. Maybe for one person jealousy is rooted in low self-esteem, for another lack of jealousy is rooted in low self-esteem.
Another complexity is if an emotion comes from several and even opposing sources, within the same person.
So what do you think is the root of jealousy?
Jac xxx
I think that a person can have a very healthy self-esteem, but have blips of insecurity.
If there is distrust in a relationship, as Laura suggested, isn't that an insecurity?
I kind of think that nothing is ever simple, or straight forward. Maybe for one person jealousy is rooted in low self-esteem, for another lack of jealousy is rooted in low self-esteem.
Another complexity is if an emotion comes from several and even opposing sources, within the same person.
So what do you think is the root of jealousy?
Jac xxx
Wishing to be other than you are, rather than being grateful for your life.
I guess we all wrestle with these issues over our life-times, but in reality, Im very happy with myself and my life overall. In fact more than I ever have been...maybe this is connected?
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I agree, and disagree with this.
I don't see it as a loser emotion, it's human, all our emotions are neither good nor bad, just the outcomes are on or the other.
Though I do think, that if somethings wrong, you make your attempt to fix it. A relationship isn't a be all end all. It's also work.
To maintain the happiness, sometimes you need to do something about it.
You create the merits in the relationship.
If it fails, it's not just because it wasn't meant to be.
Just sayin'.