Your True Self! (621)
Justme4uok: I don't usually start many threads, however after taking a really hard look at myself and seeing how others interact on this site and my own behavoir, I just wanted to share the following thoughts.
Everybody wants to be loved for who they really are - beneath the masks they wear, the impressions they try to make and the mind games they play. But how do we go about doing that?
Many of the images we have of love and romance come from movies, television and romance novels. They're all about pursuit and capture, dominance and submission. Once the guy gets the girl, the movie ends. That leaves us with a considerably incomplete picture of love as it is in the real world.
At the start of the relationship, we are swept away by emotions and fantasies and expect the other person to fulfill them. When those expectations aren't met and we begin to see the imperfections and differences in our partner, we walk away. We search for the "perfect" partner, not knowing that he/she can never be enough because he/she will always be different from what we expect.
The beautiful thing about a romantic relationship is that love isn't found or fallen into -- it is co-created. Yet there are countless people who search for love as if it belongs to someone else. We don't find love. We find one another and allow love to grow between us.
Your partner has to get to know the real you -- what you're like when you're tired, angry, frustrated, elated or talking to your Mom on the phone. They have to love you as you are, not as they hope you might be. Anything less won't last.
Have you seen or read Bridget Jones's Diary? There's one scene where Mark Darcy tells Bridget "I like you, just as you are." She is floored. Why such a strong reaction to a simple comment? Because Mark is telling her that he really sees her and he likes what he sees. He didn't say he'd like her ten pounds lighter, or a little more sophisticated, or prettier, or better read. He likes her as she is, unconditionally. She doesn't have to try and impress him, he's already impressed.
A couple's love is tested through conflict and when they emerge from that still wanting to be together, they have proved that differences can be a good thing. Although many of us have the notion that differences are a dreadful thing, they actually open the way to true intimacy. They give us the opportunity to value how different we are from the one we love and use those differences to grow and change.
Knowing that you are loved for who you are lets you relax and let your guard down. It lets you be honest without fear of rejection, and frankly, it feels great.
We need to love others for whom they are if we desire to be loved in the same way. As two people look deeper and deeper into the relationship, they will find that the emotional intimacy between them expands so that there is more room for both of them. And remember that if you're not being loved for who you really are, you're not being loved at all. (JMO) Thanks in
advance for taking the time to read this.
Everybody wants to be loved for who they really are - beneath the masks they wear, the impressions they try to make and the mind games they play. But how do we go about doing that?
Many of the images we have of love and romance come from movies, television and romance novels. They're all about pursuit and capture, dominance and submission. Once the guy gets the girl, the movie ends. That leaves us with a considerably incomplete picture of love as it is in the real world.
At the start of the relationship, we are swept away by emotions and fantasies and expect the other person to fulfill them. When those expectations aren't met and we begin to see the imperfections and differences in our partner, we walk away. We search for the "perfect" partner, not knowing that he/she can never be enough because he/she will always be different from what we expect.
The beautiful thing about a romantic relationship is that love isn't found or fallen into -- it is co-created. Yet there are countless people who search for love as if it belongs to someone else. We don't find love. We find one another and allow love to grow between us.
Your partner has to get to know the real you -- what you're like when you're tired, angry, frustrated, elated or talking to your Mom on the phone. They have to love you as you are, not as they hope you might be. Anything less won't last.
Have you seen or read Bridget Jones's Diary? There's one scene where Mark Darcy tells Bridget "I like you, just as you are." She is floored. Why such a strong reaction to a simple comment? Because Mark is telling her that he really sees her and he likes what he sees. He didn't say he'd like her ten pounds lighter, or a little more sophisticated, or prettier, or better read. He likes her as she is, unconditionally. She doesn't have to try and impress him, he's already impressed.
A couple's love is tested through conflict and when they emerge from that still wanting to be together, they have proved that differences can be a good thing. Although many of us have the notion that differences are a dreadful thing, they actually open the way to true intimacy. They give us the opportunity to value how different we are from the one we love and use those differences to grow and change.
Knowing that you are loved for who you are lets you relax and let your guard down. It lets you be honest without fear of rejection, and frankly, it feels great.
We need to love others for whom they are if we desire to be loved in the same way. As two people look deeper and deeper into the relationship, they will find that the emotional intimacy between them expands so that there is more room for both of them. And remember that if you're not being loved for who you really are, you're not being loved at all. (JMO) Thanks in
advance for taking the time to read this.
I didnt read all that so ill just say Hi.....
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Costapacket: I didnt read all that so ill just say Hi.....
Hello backatcha!------ This thread is Archived ------
I agree 100% and wish more people were honest on this issue like you. My greatest asset is also my biggest downfall: Just being me. I scare too many people away beacuse I choose not to go along with the heard all the time. Anyway, thnak you. :)
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freestew1966: I agree 100% and wish more people were honest on this issue like you. My greatest asset is also my biggest downfall: Just being me. I scare too many people away beacuse I choose not to go along with the heard all the time. Anyway, thnak you. :)
Your welcome
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I read it all,and it was beautiful stated...i think you nailed it!!
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demonfairy: I read it all,and it was beautiful stated...i think you nailed it!!
Thanks!
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wow good post...just too bad not all people think that way..I am me plain simple and down to earth..can\t be anything else..
Rejection is just apart of life..not all people are going to like/love you...
Rejection is just apart of life..not all people are going to like/love you...
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Justme4uok: I don't usually start many threads, however after taking a really hard look at myself and seeing how others interact on this site and my own behavoir, I just wanted to share the following thoughts.
Everybody wants to be loved for who they really are - beneath the masks they wear, the impressions they try to make and the mind games they play. But how do we go about doing that?
Many of the images we have of love and romance come from movies, television and romance novels. They're all about pursuit and capture, dominance and submission. Once the guy gets the girl, the movie ends. That leaves us with a considerably incomplete picture of love as it is in the real world.
At the start of the relationship, we are swept away by emotions and fantasies and expect the other person to fulfill them. When those expectations aren't met and we begin to see the imperfections and differences in our partner, we walk away. We search for the "perfect" partner, not knowing that he/she can never be enough because he/she will always be different from what we expect.
The beautiful thing about a romantic relationship is that love isn't found or fallen into -- it is co-created. Yet there are countless people who search for love as if it belongs to someone else. We don't find love. We find one another and allow love to grow between us.
Your partner has to get to know the real you -- what you're like when you're tired, angry, frustrated, elated or talking to your Mom on the phone. They have to love you as you are, not as they hope you might be. Anything less won't last.
Have you seen or read Bridget Jones's Diary? There's one scene where Mark Darcy tells Bridget "I like you, just as you are." She is floored. Why such a strong reaction to a simple comment? Because Mark is telling her that he really sees her and he likes what he sees. He didn't say he'd like her ten pounds lighter, or a little more sophisticated, or prettier, or better read. He likes her as she is, unconditionally. She doesn't have to try and impress him, he's already impressed.
A couple's love is tested through conflict and when they emerge from that still wanting to be together, they have proved that differences can be a good thing. Although many of us have the notion that differences are a dreadful thing, they actually open the way to true intimacy. They give us the opportunity to value how different we are from the one we love and use those differences to grow and change.
Knowing that you are loved for who you are lets you relax and let your guard down. It lets you be honest without fear of rejection, and frankly, it feels great.
We need to love others for whom they are if we desire to be loved in the same way. As two people look deeper and deeper into the relationship, they will find that the emotional intimacy between them expands so that there is more room for both of them. And remember that if you're not being loved for who you really are, you're not being loved at all. (JMO) Thanks in
advance for taking the time to read this.
Everybody wants to be loved for who they really are - beneath the masks they wear, the impressions they try to make and the mind games they play. But how do we go about doing that?
Many of the images we have of love and romance come from movies, television and romance novels. They're all about pursuit and capture, dominance and submission. Once the guy gets the girl, the movie ends. That leaves us with a considerably incomplete picture of love as it is in the real world.
At the start of the relationship, we are swept away by emotions and fantasies and expect the other person to fulfill them. When those expectations aren't met and we begin to see the imperfections and differences in our partner, we walk away. We search for the "perfect" partner, not knowing that he/she can never be enough because he/she will always be different from what we expect.
The beautiful thing about a romantic relationship is that love isn't found or fallen into -- it is co-created. Yet there are countless people who search for love as if it belongs to someone else. We don't find love. We find one another and allow love to grow between us.
Your partner has to get to know the real you -- what you're like when you're tired, angry, frustrated, elated or talking to your Mom on the phone. They have to love you as you are, not as they hope you might be. Anything less won't last.
Have you seen or read Bridget Jones's Diary? There's one scene where Mark Darcy tells Bridget "I like you, just as you are." She is floored. Why such a strong reaction to a simple comment? Because Mark is telling her that he really sees her and he likes what he sees. He didn't say he'd like her ten pounds lighter, or a little more sophisticated, or prettier, or better read. He likes her as she is, unconditionally. She doesn't have to try and impress him, he's already impressed.
A couple's love is tested through conflict and when they emerge from that still wanting to be together, they have proved that differences can be a good thing. Although many of us have the notion that differences are a dreadful thing, they actually open the way to true intimacy. They give us the opportunity to value how different we are from the one we love and use those differences to grow and change.
Knowing that you are loved for who you are lets you relax and let your guard down. It lets you be honest without fear of rejection, and frankly, it feels great.
We need to love others for whom they are if we desire to be loved in the same way. As two people look deeper and deeper into the relationship, they will find that the emotional intimacy between them expands so that there is more room for both of them. And remember that if you're not being loved for who you really are, you're not being loved at all. (JMO) Thanks in
advance for taking the time to read this.
If both of them are stubborn on "love me for what ore who I am" and won`t compromise to a certain level ...their relationship will end ,even faster ...
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cincity: wow good post...just too bad not all people think that way..I am me plain simple and down to earth..can be anything else..
Rejection is just apart of life..not all people are going to like/love you...
Rejection is just apart of life..not all people are going to like/love you...
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Boban1: If both of them are stubborn on "love me for what ore who I am" and won`t compromise to a certain level ...their relationship will end ,even faster ...
oh I almost forgot... I didn`t read it at all... I just took a lucky guess ....
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Boban1: If both of them are stubborn on "love me for what ore who I am" and won`t compromise to a certain level ...their relationship will end ,even faster ...
Very true!------ This thread is Archived ------
Boban1: oh I almost forgot... I didn`t read it at all... I just took a lucky guess ....
Taking a short cut as usual!
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joyannie: So true.
And better to be loved for whom you are, rather than who you thought they wanted you to be.
And better to be loved for whom you are, rather than who you thought they wanted you to be.
Thanks
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joyannie: So true.
And better to be loved for whom you are, rather than who you thought they wanted you to be.
And better to be loved for whom you are, rather than who you thought they wanted you to be.
Oops, this was supposed to have been in response to Cincitys' post. I ment to quote her post in my post. Sorry...
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Justme4uok: I don't usually start many threads, however after taking a really hard look at myself and seeing how others interact on this site and my own behavoir, I just wanted to share the following thoughts.
Everybody wants to be loved for who they really are - beneath the masks they wear, the impressions they try to make and the mind games they play. But how do we go about doing that?
Many of the images we have of love and romance come from movies, television and romance novels. They're all about pursuit and capture, dominance and submission. Once the guy gets the girl, the movie ends. That leaves us with a considerably incomplete picture of love as it is in the real world.
At the start of the relationship, we are swept away by emotions and fantasies and expect the other person to fulfill them. When those expectations aren't met and we begin to see the imperfections and differences in our partner, we walk away. We search for the "perfect" partner, not knowing that he/she can never be enough because he/she will always be different from what we expect.
The beautiful thing about a romantic relationship is that love isn't found or fallen into -- it is co-created. Yet there are countless people who search for love as if it belongs to someone else. We don't find love. We find one another and allow love to grow between us.
Your partner has to get to know the real you -- what you're like when you're tired, angry, frustrated, elated or talking to your Mom on the phone. They have to love you as you are, not as they hope you might be. Anything less won't last.
Have you seen or read Bridget Jones's Diary? There's one scene where Mark Darcy tells Bridget "I like you, just as you are." She is floored. Why such a strong reaction to a simple comment? Because Mark is telling her that he really sees her and he likes what he sees. He didn't say he'd like her ten pounds lighter, or a little more sophisticated, or prettier, or better read. He likes her as she is, unconditionally. She doesn't have to try and impress him, he's already impressed.
A couple's love is tested through conflict and when they emerge from that still wanting to be together, they have proved that differences can be a good thing. Although many of us have the notion that differences are a dreadful thing, they actually open the way to true intimacy. They give us the opportunity to value how different we are from the one we love and use those differences to grow and change.
Knowing that you are loved for who you are lets you relax and let your guard down. It lets you be honest without fear of rejection, and frankly, it feels great.
We need to love others for whom they are if we desire to be loved in the same way. As two people look deeper and deeper into the relationship, they will find that the emotional intimacy between them expands so that there is more room for both of them. And remember that if you're not being loved for who you really are, you're not being loved at all. (JMO) Thanks in
advance for taking the time to read this.
Everybody wants to be loved for who they really are - beneath the masks they wear, the impressions they try to make and the mind games they play. But how do we go about doing that?
Many of the images we have of love and romance come from movies, television and romance novels. They're all about pursuit and capture, dominance and submission. Once the guy gets the girl, the movie ends. That leaves us with a considerably incomplete picture of love as it is in the real world.
At the start of the relationship, we are swept away by emotions and fantasies and expect the other person to fulfill them. When those expectations aren't met and we begin to see the imperfections and differences in our partner, we walk away. We search for the "perfect" partner, not knowing that he/she can never be enough because he/she will always be different from what we expect.
The beautiful thing about a romantic relationship is that love isn't found or fallen into -- it is co-created. Yet there are countless people who search for love as if it belongs to someone else. We don't find love. We find one another and allow love to grow between us.
Your partner has to get to know the real you -- what you're like when you're tired, angry, frustrated, elated or talking to your Mom on the phone. They have to love you as you are, not as they hope you might be. Anything less won't last.
Have you seen or read Bridget Jones's Diary? There's one scene where Mark Darcy tells Bridget "I like you, just as you are." She is floored. Why such a strong reaction to a simple comment? Because Mark is telling her that he really sees her and he likes what he sees. He didn't say he'd like her ten pounds lighter, or a little more sophisticated, or prettier, or better read. He likes her as she is, unconditionally. She doesn't have to try and impress him, he's already impressed.
A couple's love is tested through conflict and when they emerge from that still wanting to be together, they have proved that differences can be a good thing. Although many of us have the notion that differences are a dreadful thing, they actually open the way to true intimacy. They give us the opportunity to value how different we are from the one we love and use those differences to grow and change.
Knowing that you are loved for who you are lets you relax and let your guard down. It lets you be honest without fear of rejection, and frankly, it feels great.
We need to love others for whom they are if we desire to be loved in the same way. As two people look deeper and deeper into the relationship, they will find that the emotional intimacy between them expands so that there is more room for both of them. And remember that if you're not being loved for who you really are, you're not being loved at all. (JMO) Thanks in
advance for taking the time to read this.
You know, you really got the point across. I have that same problem. No one loves me for who I am. It's like every time I try to find love, they all just run away. Meanwhile we do have a right to be who we are.
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greeneyesbabe: Excellent post.
Often though it takes time to see the real person as people try to put their best foot forward in the beginning stages.
Often though it takes time to see the real person as people try to put their best foot forward in the beginning stages.
Very true, but then as time moves forward, you should be your true self and not what you think they want.
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- One week of the most outrageous GOP leadership!
- Democrats destroyed America
- Ladies
- makeover
- The GOP Representatives owned by Vladimir Putin
- biggest lie
- I'm a 53 YEAR'S YUNG MAN that lives back in the 80s
- Have it both ways!
- Are the ads on here as phony as some of the profiles?
- Would you hire this guy - for any job?
Everybody wants to be loved for who they really are - beneath the masks they wear, the impressions they try to make and the mind games they play. But how do we go about doing that?
Many of the images we have of love and romance come from movies, television and romance novels. They're all about pursuit and capture, dominance and submission. Once the guy gets the girl, the movie ends. That leaves us with a considerably incomplete picture of love as it is in the real world.
At the start of the relationship, we are swept away by emotions and fantasies and expect the other person to fulfill them. When those expectations aren't met and we begin to see the imperfections and differences in our partner, we walk away. We search for the "perfect" partner, not knowing that he/she can never be enough because he/she will always be different from what we expect.
The beautiful thing about a romantic relationship is that love isn't found or fallen into -- it is co-created. Yet there are countless people who search for love as if it belongs to someone else. We don't find love. We find one another and allow love to grow between us.
Your partner has to get to know the real you -- what you're like when you're tired, angry, frustrated, elated or talking to your Mom on the phone. They have to love you as you are, not as they hope you might be. Anything less won't last.
Have you seen or read Bridget Jones's Diary? There's one scene where Mark Darcy tells Bridget "I like you, just as you are." She is floored. Why such a strong reaction to a simple comment? Because Mark is telling her that he really sees her and he likes what he sees. He didn't say he'd like her ten pounds lighter, or a little more sophisticated, or prettier, or better read. He likes her as she is, unconditionally. She doesn't have to try and impress him, he's already impressed.
A couple's love is tested through conflict and when they emerge from that still wanting to be together, they have proved that differences can be a good thing. Although many of us have the notion that differences are a dreadful thing, they actually open the way to true intimacy. They give us the opportunity to value how different we are from the one we love and use those differences to grow and change.
Knowing that you are loved for who you are lets you relax and let your guard down. It lets you be honest without fear of rejection, and frankly, it feels great.
We need to love others for whom they are if we desire to be loved in the same way. As two people look deeper and deeper into the relationship, they will find that the emotional intimacy between them expands so that there is more room for both of them. And remember that if you're not being loved for who you really are, you're not being loved at all. (JMO) Thanks in
advance for taking the time to read this.