is it just a dream (15)
angelito1975INDEPENDENCE, Missouri USA1 Threads 2 PostsWhat can I do to help a wife to be, bond with my children, should I talk to them and explain the love I feel for her, and hope they bond, or should I let them bond on their own, or is this an impossible dream, what do I do if I find her.
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angelito1975: What can I do to help a wife to be, bond with my children, should I talk to them and explain the love I feel for her, and hope they bond, or should I let them bond on their own, or is this an impossible dream, what do I do if I find her.
Maybe include them in things that the both of you do together, it would help the bond come naturally, and you could see how well they interact with one another.------ This thread is Archived ------
how old are the kids
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The two that live with me are 13 and 11, the reason I bring this up is , last year I broke off a relationship with someone very special to me, we were dating for 3 years, in that 3 years, there was no bond between her and my boys, the final straw was when she asked me, when are we gonna have time for our family, because she had kids as well, however I bonded with her boys very easily, because I loved them and wanted to. I reflect back on things that happened and wonder if I could have done things different.
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I feel for you OP. I think that sometimes the 'bond' just doesnt happen, and perhaps hoping for a good solid friendship between your children and your special other is about all you can wish for.
I know with my short person there was a particular time (still is to a point) where she has had absolutely NO INTEREST in meeting, knowing, befriending any one I'm involved with.
I respect that ... to a point, if I was in a committed relationship then I would expect her to treat the person with the utmost respect, nothing more.
Good luck in your search.
I know with my short person there was a particular time (still is to a point) where she has had absolutely NO INTEREST in meeting, knowing, befriending any one I'm involved with.
I respect that ... to a point, if I was in a committed relationship then I would expect her to treat the person with the utmost respect, nothing more.
Good luck in your search.
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Its tough....the best thing is all of you date her......she needs to know that your children come first. If the bonding happens, then great..if it doesn't, move on....I know this is easy to say and hard to do, but if your children don't get along with her,it could turn into a huge problem......She needs to be willing to try and willing to include them in at least part of your dating process.....Then, if it comes to that...all of you propose to her....since it is all about family, don't exclude the children...sometimes the bonding process(especially at that age) can take a long time. Trust your instincts.....
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angelito1975: What can I do to help a wife to be, bond with my children, should I talk to them and explain the love I feel for her, and hope they bond, or should I let them bond on their own, or is this an impossible dream, what do I do if I find her.
I am sure if your wife to be is really in love with you, then she will love your children as well ..
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OMGosh !! I have been through this.It's horrible.Just stick with your own kids.
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Sometimes bonds grow and sometimes they don't. But I agree, put the kids first, that love is way more lasting.
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ornamental: Sometimes bonds grow and sometimes they don't. But I agree, put the kids first, that love is way more lasting.
True! Hmm ... but we all need someone to feel happy as an adults.
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Bumpity bump bump 
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In response to: What can I do to help a wife to be, bond with my children, should I talk to them and explain the love I feel for her, and hope they bond, or should I let them bond on their own, or is this an impossible dream, what do I do if I find her.
It's obvious they'll either accept her or they won't.I would let the bonding so to speak happen on it's own.
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Konigsberg: True! Hmm ... but we all need someone to feel happy as an adults.
While I would certainly agree that the kids one already has absolutely need to come first, there are several considerations I would like to point out. It is wrong to allow oneself to be held hostage by the kids. They need to understand that the world doesn't just revolve around them, and that it is a reasonable and normal process for their mom or dad to want and need a companion. Just wondering - so many people in quite a few of the forums seem to have this extremely strong reiteration about the kids the kids the kids. Sure, times ARE different, but in my opinion the best gift you can give your children is a firm understanding that other people in the world count, not just them. Just sayin'...------ This thread is Archived ------
build it and they will come 
you are talking about a film Field of dreams
you are talking about a film Field of dreams
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woohoo128: build it and they will come
you are talking about a film Field of dreams
Hows that? you are talking about a film Field of dreams
I don't get your meaning here.------ This thread is Archived ------
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