being nice does not work ( Archived) (203)

ambient_sounds: Okay, for starters, you cannot even begin to realize the potential you possess, and you never will as long as you continue to limit yourself by letting your loneliness control you. You are your own bully, your own despair has you in a choke hold, and you are letting it take you over.

First off, decide to change. It's obvious women aren't falling for you "as you are". Despite what some people say, and no matter what they want to believe, if they do not push themselves to become better, no one will ever accept them for "who they are". It's a silly misconception that people use who do not want to put forth the effort to better themselves, and make themselves more desirable. I know I am going to catch flack about this from people that want to stick to their guns on the "just be yourself and everything will work out in time" note, but it doesn't matter, I have a point and I am driving it home, walk with me, this is your crash course to a better future.

Secondly, from the dawn of time, the female species in nearly every instance is won, drawn to, or chosen by either the strongest, or most able male. So this being said, if they sense you are weak, even if they aren't actively thinking it, they are going to pass you over no matter how cute they think you are, or how great your personality is, etc. Women need strength in a man, strength of understanding, strength of will, strength of heart, and strength to not only stand on your own but also strength to hold her above all else. Nice guys finish last, because nice guys are usually weak in some form or another. No you do not have to be a bodybuilding meat-head, or some Tapout gear wearing MMA wannabe- muscles do not make you a man. But break yourself down, and reinvent yourself. Strength is defined as: the ability to withstand or exert great force, stress, or pressure. And furthermore, to survive, to survive everything. Self reliance and emotional fortification are at the core of great strength. Knowledge is power, but understanding is strength. If you can understand that strength is not a quality that will make your life easier, but harder, and if you can accept this, and still strive for it while life laughs at you through its yellow twisted teeth, you will carve out a path that would make Thor of Norse mythology himself jealous. Life will rest at your feet like a dog and you will be a man like no other.

Thirdly, being alone is NOT a bad thing. You can accomplish so much more when you are alone than you can when you have others around you. You can focus better, distractions are limited, other people's opinions and misunderstanding will not matter because they aren't around. Use that time to transform yourself into someone you can be proud of, someone that doesn't have to just hope that someday, someone will accept you for whom you are. Someone that will shatter the mold of the ordinary man and captivate women in ways they only read about in sensual novels.

cmulder: Dispite what most woman write in there profile i found out being nice is useless.
Since i am tall and skinney i have been bullied not just during my childhood but its a still ongoing problem for me.
Examples include "passive agression" with it comes to dealing with.
Spending most if my time (still) alone i do not gain any experience that inproves my self esteem.
Btw with alone i do not mean single but TOTALY ALONE.
most weekends i come home from work and only get out of the door again on monday without any interactions with humans in person in between.

Needless to say self esteem is something i know from a book.

So even if i get a lady to reply to me it does only last a few messages and then it ends since they are not atracted to me,

So being nice does not work and i found woman prefer abusve men who hurt them.

I am just not one of them.