keeping fit (44)

Kickboxing is good too... plus, if you lucky, you get to use it in real life too!

NO WAY JOSE! But if it comes looking for me.... kick-boxing works VERY WELL. How is Aerobics, Modern Dancing, Tap Dancing, etc. going to help when you confronted by a knife-wielding maniac in a dark alley? Okay, I know nice ladies my age shouldnt be walking down dark alleys, but sometimes it happens, by accident, and you only realise, too late, that you in a dark alley, tripping over dust-bins and yeowling cats, stumbling around in the dark trying to aim for the light at the end of the tunnel... and then this figure looms out of the gloom and says "give me your handbag".... THAT is when you glad you been practicing kicking heads off necks!

KEWL ... jewel... !! You dont even have to do the real thing.... just go buy the outfit, with "Kick-Box Champion" embroidered everywhere, in neon glow-in-the-dark stitching... stop every now and again, especially before entering dark alleys, and high-kick the street lamp, or an imaginary head on shoulders, whip-lash your arms around you, do a few spins with one leg at shoulder height, Kung-Fu style... shrug your shoulders, hitch your pants, pat your crotch, and then swagger down the dark alley. Also, do wear steel capped boots (the type workmen wear), so you can just scrape the yowling cats out your way, and kick over the dustbins on your way. And watch the muggers run!

Ah Ha, I see I have found my Soul Brother. Thought I lost you Kommando, after the Hula Hula Beach Party when Bigboss brought in his sea-plane of refugees, and I arrived on the boat. Wow that was some party huh? But you getting confused now.... it was YOU who kicked over all the dustbins in Malta after only 2 glasses of wine.
Dont you remember when Bigboss left again to deliver his load of refugees to Wedward up in the Austrian Alps... he came home with this barrel of Gluwein that Wedy had made, and all those cakes, all made by Wedy himself... gosh that man can sure bake cakes huh?! So between Wedys barrel of Gluwein, Gipsy's home-brewed beer, and that stuff we concocted from the bags of rice and vodka we got donated, you passed out after trashing Malta after only the 2 glasses of wine you drank at that hut on the beach. Me, Gipsy and Bigboss, we had to sit and drink about 20ltrs of pure alcohol, then we went dancing till the sun came up. We thought we saw you doing some kick-boxing out on the beach at sunrise, but then realised you were doing Tai-Chi with an octopus.... you realy good at that excercise stuff hey!
When you climbed up on those pilings in the sea, and started doing your Flamingo One Leg Balance thing, we thought we'd never see you again after you did that slow arc-dive into the sea. You looked so professional about it, and none of us were in any condition to go see if you were okay, so we gave our full attention to where we thought you should surface, and eventually we were rewarded to see you rolling in with the waves. You looked pretty relaxed just lying there on the sand, with the waves gently washing over you, so we assumed you just having a rest.
Glad to see you so spry and full of pep again. But dont go accusing ME of going awol with dustbins... when it was you.... and only 2 glasses of wine, for goodness sake.