Ambivalence: Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay ( Archived) (290)

Al -

Step away...from...The Buddha.

Jeez, at first I read "Duality has some crazy TICKS up it's sleeve," and started probing around up there to see if I'd picked up something in my morning walk.

Well, I agree insofar as we use labels and demonize people in order to distance ourselves from feelings of love, for sure. As a friend said recently (on seeing THE POST), "love sometimes tranmutes into hate as a protective measure."

I don't want to fall into that trap. My evaluation of THE POST came to me slowly, reflectively - that is wasn't borne of any powerful desire to demonize the author. On the contrary, my first reaction was compassion (I assumed it denoted great hurt or perhaps a mental breakdown of some sort - or both - being so insanely out of character for the poster!). But as time has passed, I see that act increasingly as deplorable and inexcusable. But then, perhaps after some more time, I might think differently. And I say this, again, not out of anger. I believe it's exactly what I would think if it involved someone else.

I don't feel my evaluation has diminished my love. What it's done is made me certain that I'm not compatible with this person; also, it raises in my mind the very distinct possibility that this person not only does not love me now, but perhaps never did. Again, that doesn't make me love her less. I think if it "distances" me from anything, it's the notion that what we had was worth preserving (or perhaps even ever having).

Anyway, thanks, Al, for your thoughts. Much appreciated.

Thanks, Nan. Listening to Harrison songs? with sitars always makes me feel enlightened. (Echoing a comment on the video.)

I have J. There's a Buddhist phrase that I'll no doubt massacre, but goes something like... "if you meet Buddha on your path, kill him." It's kind of symbolic of finding enlightenment, thinking you've achieved it and realizing you don't know squat, that you should keep searching. Sometimes I get way to close to Buddha.



PS: I fixed your spelling for you, since L has vacated her responsibility here.

lmao @ ticks.

You know transmutes means that it's still love, just morphing. You can't know that it's mutating without acknowledging that it's love in the first place ya?

A logical mind wouldn't say something like "I love you go away." Would it? A right brained mind might but how it manifests wouldn't be logical because the words "I love you go away" are seemingly contrary. Illogical. Since its contradiction to the logical mind, it would have trouble reconciling that right brained wisdom.



Possibly, or paths in life diverging, among others.



How does making this distinction assist you J. Does invalidating the past validate the present? Or conversely for that matter?



Since you don't 'know' for certain what happened or why and you do have the ability to make your history more appealing, why not choose what appeals? What I mean is, in the process of all this conjecture, you create your view of your past as arbitrarily as you want. (trying to validate your feelings).Its conjecture after all, so why not create what appeals. An appealing conjecture would create more appealing feelings ya?

Try this. Imagine the poster is Peewee Herman to begin with, a female version of course, then imagine the poster posting what they did. Then do it again, but this time, put the whole scene on high speed. Then do it again and put the whole scene on super slow speed, then put it on stutter, then on super fast. When you're done, if you actually did this, you'll realize how many ways there are to perceive another's actions.



This distance, however one creates it, however one imagines or rationalizes it, is the way, the path that diverged from the that path of being together. The feelings you have are natural.

If you ever think of indulging in meditation, I would offer what I know to you. For someone who wants to be aware, which is much like your wanting to 'know' things, I think you'd be like a Grand Master in no time and that Buddha would be running away from you.



Mutual bro.

I have J. There's a Buddhist phrase that I'll no doubt massacre, but goes something like... "if you meet Buddha on your path, kill him." It's kind of symbolic of finding enlightenment, thinking you've achieved it and realizing you don't know squat, that you should keep searching. Sometimes I get way to close to Buddha.



PS: I fixed your spelling for you, since L has vacated her responsibility here.

You know transmutes means that it's still love, just morphing. You can't know that it's mutating without acknowledging that it's love in the first place ya?

A logical mind wouldn't say something like "I love you go away." Would it? A right brained mind might but how it manifests wouldn't be logical because the words "I love you go away" are seemingly contrary. Illogical. Since its contradiction to the logical mind, it would have trouble reconciling that right brained wisdom.



Feelings are amazing. One of the greatest things humans have. I wouldn't ever suggest you set them aside; but to experience them as the wonder they are.

Knowing you as I do (which admittedly isn't to any real great detail) I'm certain your thoughts will change, that you will change. All this time you spend on bettering your self, in reading and thinking, isn't going to be lost Jeff, it's going to be your gain.



Possibly, or paths in life diverging, among others.



How does making this distinction assist you J. Does invalidating the past validate the present? Or conversely for that matter?



Since you don't 'know' for certain what happened or why and you do have the ability to make your history more appealing, why not choose what appeals? What I mean is, in the process of all this conjecture, you create your view of your past as arbitrarily as you want. (trying to validate your feelings).Its conjecture after all, so why not create what appeals. An appealing conjecture would create more appealing feelings ya?

Try this. Imagine the poster is Peewee Herman to begin with, a female version of course, then imagine the poster posting what they did. Then do it again, but this time, put the whole scene on high speed. Then do it again and put the whole scene on super slow speed, then put it on stutter, then on super fast. When you're done, if you actually did this, you'll realize how many ways there are to perceive another's actions.



This distance, however one creates it, however one imagines or rationalizes it, is the way, the path that diverged from the that path of being together. The feelings you have are natural.

If you ever think of indulging in meditation, I would offer what I know to you. For someone who wants to be aware, which is much like your wanting to 'know' things, I think you'd be like a Grand Master in no time and that Buddha would be running away from you.



Mutual bro.

hope you are okay now J, i like the word " Ambivalence ", and i think " too bad to stay " and much love for ya J, before Laura's posting made me pop up here to say something with her, now reading your posting & yr profile make me pop up to say some words to you that " too bad to stay " my dear friend Jeff, and i wish all the best for ya J

Oh, I'm doing great, KC. As Sting would say, I'm so happy, I can't stop crying. And thanks for asking. (And of course I want to thank CSers for all their "PMs" supporting me in this "difficult time" )

Laura posted? Hmmmm...that's news to me.

You're a very nice lady, KC.

if i see you cry so much i will feel very sad and may cry following you, J, then pls dont cry, Jeff

Yeah, I gotta stop listening to that Sting song.

Thanks, KC, for "coming back from the dead" to write that.