A bit of laugh - true stories (17)
Baby Born
This happened a few years ago at my work place.
One the morning I went to the kitchen (isn't it there where all the fun happens?) to make my usual carob coffee with cinnemon (don't say "yuck", I like it). One of the developers was there talking to a mature lady about his newborn baby. I made my coffee, poured milk into it and was about to put the milk back to the fridge when with the milk carton in my left hand I turned towards the developer and asked how old his baby was.
"Ten days old", he said and reached his hand towards me. I grabbed it and shook it in congratulation for his baby.
He smiled, and said, "That's good, but I wanted the milk."
This happened a few years ago at my work place.
One the morning I went to the kitchen (isn't it there where all the fun happens?) to make my usual carob coffee with cinnemon (don't say "yuck", I like it). One of the developers was there talking to a mature lady about his newborn baby. I made my coffee, poured milk into it and was about to put the milk back to the fridge when with the milk carton in my left hand I turned towards the developer and asked how old his baby was.
"Ten days old", he said and reached his hand towards me. I grabbed it and shook it in congratulation for his baby.
He smiled, and said, "That's good, but I wanted the milk."
New faces...
This happened years ago.
After about a week in the job I was making coffee in the kitchen when a young lady walked in.
I thought I try to be nice, so I kindly started the conversation like this,
"Are you new here? I haven't seen you here before."
"I have been with the company for eight years.", she replied.
O-o-ops!
This happened years ago.
After about a week in the job I was making coffee in the kitchen when a young lady walked in.
I thought I try to be nice, so I kindly started the conversation like this,
"Are you new here? I haven't seen you here before."
"I have been with the company for eight years.", she replied.
O-o-ops!
Cleaning the Carrots
Years ago again...
I used to have carrots in the fridge, so I went to clean a few for afternoon tea. A mature Scottish lady from the testing team was in the kitchen with her lady friend.
I started to clean the carrots and said to them, "I am turning into a rabbit".
The Scottish lady said, "It doesn't turn you into a rabbit but it turns you orange".
Her friend noted, "I tried a course of carrot juice once, it didn't turn me orange, but it gave me a nice tan".
I replied, "I also tried it, but it only gave me a nice nine".
(He-he, word play: tan - ten).
Years ago again...
I used to have carrots in the fridge, so I went to clean a few for afternoon tea. A mature Scottish lady from the testing team was in the kitchen with her lady friend.
I started to clean the carrots and said to them, "I am turning into a rabbit".
The Scottish lady said, "It doesn't turn you into a rabbit but it turns you orange".
Her friend noted, "I tried a course of carrot juice once, it didn't turn me orange, but it gave me a nice tan".
I replied, "I also tried it, but it only gave me a nice nine".
(He-he, word play: tan - ten).
Meeting the boss...
There were a number of emails sent out about the product's ten years anniversary.
I accepted the invitations previously, but last of all there was also an email urging people to respond if they were coming or not.
Since I already clicked "Accept" on an earlier email, not being aware that the sender was the manager of the R&D, I just clicked "Reply" and typed:
"Hi,
I am coming."
Ops!
There were a number of emails sent out about the product's ten years anniversary.
I accepted the invitations previously, but last of all there was also an email urging people to respond if they were coming or not.
Since I already clicked "Accept" on an earlier email, not being aware that the sender was the manager of the R&D, I just clicked "Reply" and typed:
"Hi,
I am coming."
Ops!
Missing the level
One day coming down for lunch from the product training from level 4 I pressed the level 2 button. Being alone in the elevator I didn't notice it stopped on level 3. So I got out and went towards the area where the my team was supposed to be located, and voila, I saw a young pregnant lady, a good friend in the kitchen. Since she used to come with our team for lunch on the Fridays, I started talking to her about it. She wasn't sure what lunch I was talking about, so I kept pointing behind my back to the area where my team was located, but on level 2.
She realised something was wrong, and suddenly asked,
"What are you doing here?"
"What are you doing here? This is level two!", I replied.
She suddenly looked around perplexed,
"Is it?!?", she asked. (She had been working on that level for the whole day, but now she began to wonder if she was on the right level :)
Now I became somewhat suspicious myself and looking around realised I was on the wrong level.
"No, this is level three", I said.
"You are so-o-o-o terrible!!!", she replied.
Comment from the lady: At the time I was pregnant and I thought pregnancy made me loose my mind
One day coming down for lunch from the product training from level 4 I pressed the level 2 button. Being alone in the elevator I didn't notice it stopped on level 3. So I got out and went towards the area where the my team was supposed to be located, and voila, I saw a young pregnant lady, a good friend in the kitchen. Since she used to come with our team for lunch on the Fridays, I started talking to her about it. She wasn't sure what lunch I was talking about, so I kept pointing behind my back to the area where my team was located, but on level 2.
She realised something was wrong, and suddenly asked,
"What are you doing here?"
"What are you doing here? This is level two!", I replied.
She suddenly looked around perplexed,
"Is it?!?", she asked. (She had been working on that level for the whole day, but now she began to wonder if she was on the right level :)
Now I became somewhat suspicious myself and looking around realised I was on the wrong level.
"No, this is level three", I said.
"You are so-o-o-o terrible!!!", she replied.
Comment from the lady: At the time I was pregnant and I thought pregnancy made me loose my mind
revealer24: Selling Computers
This happened years ago. I sold an old computer to an old man.
We spoke on the phone, and because he had no car he bought my computer without seeing it, and I delivered it to him.
He told me in the phone when he inquired that he had an 17" monitor that died. When I arrived at his place I only found an 14" one.
He said, he measured it - but he included the outer frame also.
I set up the machine and turned it on. Our conversation went like this:
Old man: Where is the dart game?
Me: There is no dart game on this machine.
Old man: So what game does it have?.
Me: The standard windows (98SE) games.
I started showing him OpenOffice.org that I installed on the computer.
Me: You can write letters with this.
Old man: Why should I write letters now when I never wrote one in my life?
Next morning he phoned that the computer didn't work. He threatened that he would call the police. A friend went to check it out. It turned out that it worked, except that the old man could not find his dart game on it.
By the time my friend returned home he phoned again. There was another computer problem. He was trying to play Solitaire and the cards kept flying back to the pack. My friend could no longer handle it and pulled the phone plug out of the wall socket.
Soon after I arrived home from work he phoned again.
Old man: There is a problem with the computer. I cannot shut it down.
Me: What happened?
Old man: There is a message that "The application performed an illegal operation". I called the police, and they told me to take it to a shop or call you.
Me: Who did you call?!?!, I asked thinking I might have misunderstood what he said.
Old man: The police.
Me: Why? They don't fix computers...
Old man: But it said, "illegal operation", and to me it is a police matter.
I could hardly wait to put the phone down. I couldn't contain my laughter...
This happened years ago. I sold an old computer to an old man.
We spoke on the phone, and because he had no car he bought my computer without seeing it, and I delivered it to him.
He told me in the phone when he inquired that he had an 17" monitor that died. When I arrived at his place I only found an 14" one.
He said, he measured it - but he included the outer frame also.
I set up the machine and turned it on. Our conversation went like this:
Old man: Where is the dart game?
Me: There is no dart game on this machine.
Old man: So what game does it have?.
Me: The standard windows (98SE) games.
I started showing him OpenOffice.org that I installed on the computer.
Me: You can write letters with this.
Old man: Why should I write letters now when I never wrote one in my life?
Next morning he phoned that the computer didn't work. He threatened that he would call the police. A friend went to check it out. It turned out that it worked, except that the old man could not find his dart game on it.
By the time my friend returned home he phoned again. There was another computer problem. He was trying to play Solitaire and the cards kept flying back to the pack. My friend could no longer handle it and pulled the phone plug out of the wall socket.
Soon after I arrived home from work he phoned again.
Old man: There is a problem with the computer. I cannot shut it down.
Me: What happened?
Old man: There is a message that "The application performed an illegal operation". I called the police, and they told me to take it to a shop or call you.
Me: Who did you call?!?!, I asked thinking I might have misunderstood what he said.
Old man: The police.
Me: Why? They don't fix computers...
Old man: But it said, "illegal operation", and to me it is a police matter.
I could hardly wait to put the phone down. I couldn't contain my laughter...
very good, enjoyed reading that
revealer24: Selling Computers
This happened years ago. I sold an old computer to an old man.
We spoke on the phone, and because he had no car he bought my computer without seeing it, and I delivered it to him.
He told me in the phone when he inquired that he had an 17" monitor that died. When I arrived at his place I only found an 14" one.
He said, he measured it - but he included the outer frame also.
I set up the machine and turned it on. Our conversation went like this:
Old man: Where is the dart game?
Me: There is no dart game on this machine.
Old man: So what game does it have?.
Me: The standard windows (98SE) games.
I started showing him OpenOffice.org that I installed on the computer.
Me: You can write letters with this.
Old man: Why should I write letters now when I never wrote one in my life?
Next morning he phoned that the computer didn't work. He threatened that he would call the police. A friend went to check it out. It turned out that it worked, except that the old man could not find his dart game on it.
By the time my friend returned home he phoned again. There was another computer problem. He was trying to play Solitaire and the cards kept flying back to the pack. My friend could no longer handle it and pulled the phone plug out of the wall socket.
Soon after I arrived home from work he phoned again.
Old man: There is a problem with the computer. I cannot shut it down.
Me: What happened?
Old man: There is a message that "The application performed an illegal operation". I called the police, and they told me to take it to a shop or call you.
Me: Who did you call?!?!, I asked thinking I might have misunderstood what he said.
Old man: The police.
Me: Why? They don't fix computers...
Old man: But it said, "illegal operation", and to me it is a police matter.
I could hardly wait to put the phone down. I couldn't contain my laughter...
Me Too This happened years ago. I sold an old computer to an old man.
We spoke on the phone, and because he had no car he bought my computer without seeing it, and I delivered it to him.
He told me in the phone when he inquired that he had an 17" monitor that died. When I arrived at his place I only found an 14" one.
He said, he measured it - but he included the outer frame also.
I set up the machine and turned it on. Our conversation went like this:
Old man: Where is the dart game?
Me: There is no dart game on this machine.
Old man: So what game does it have?.
Me: The standard windows (98SE) games.
I started showing him OpenOffice.org that I installed on the computer.
Me: You can write letters with this.
Old man: Why should I write letters now when I never wrote one in my life?
Next morning he phoned that the computer didn't work. He threatened that he would call the police. A friend went to check it out. It turned out that it worked, except that the old man could not find his dart game on it.
By the time my friend returned home he phoned again. There was another computer problem. He was trying to play Solitaire and the cards kept flying back to the pack. My friend could no longer handle it and pulled the phone plug out of the wall socket.
Soon after I arrived home from work he phoned again.
Old man: There is a problem with the computer. I cannot shut it down.
Me: What happened?
Old man: There is a message that "The application performed an illegal operation". I called the police, and they told me to take it to a shop or call you.
Me: Who did you call?!?!, I asked thinking I might have misunderstood what he said.
Old man: The police.
Me: Why? They don't fix computers...
Old man: But it said, "illegal operation", and to me it is a police matter.
I could hardly wait to put the phone down. I couldn't contain my laughter...
revealer24: Cleaning the Carrots
Years ago again...
I used to have carrots in the fridge, so I went to clean a few for afternoon tea. A mature Scottish lady from the testing team was in the kitchen with her lady friend.
I started to clean the carrots and said to them, "I am turning into a rabbit".
The Scottish lady said, "It doesn't turn you into a rabbit but it turns you orange".
Her friend noted, "I tried a course of carrot juice once, it didn't turn me orange, but it gave me a nice tan".
I replied, "I also tried it, but it only gave me a nice nine".
(He-he, word play: tan - ten).
Did you mean 9inches???Years ago again...
I used to have carrots in the fridge, so I went to clean a few for afternoon tea. A mature Scottish lady from the testing team was in the kitchen with her lady friend.
I started to clean the carrots and said to them, "I am turning into a rabbit".
The Scottish lady said, "It doesn't turn you into a rabbit but it turns you orange".
Her friend noted, "I tried a course of carrot juice once, it didn't turn me orange, but it gave me a nice tan".
I replied, "I also tried it, but it only gave me a nice nine".
(He-he, word play: tan - ten).
Lookin4missright: Did you mean 9inches???
Hey Lookin, we have been metric for nearly 40 years You should be asking "Did you mean 9 cms???"
wash2u: Hey Lookin, we have been metric for nearly 40 years You should be asking "Did you mean 9 cms???"
your right there Mr W 
Many years ago my young daughter was being uncharastically nasty to another child. I pulled her up about this, standing in front of her with my hands on my hips, while other kids gathered around to see what was happening.
I said to her " Thats a terrible way to behave! For an 8 year old you should know better. How old are you?"
"7" She replied.
Out of the mouths of babes.
I said to her " Thats a terrible way to behave! For an 8 year old you should know better. How old are you?"
"7" She replied.
Out of the mouths of babes.
whowhatwherewhen: Many years ago my young daughter was being uncharastically nasty to another child. I pulled her up about this, standing in front of her with my hands on my hips, while other kids gathered around to see what was happening.
I said to her " Thats a terrible way to behave! For an 8 year old you should know better. How old are you?"
"7" She replied.
Out of the mouths of babes.
I said to her " Thats a terrible way to behave! For an 8 year old you should know better. How old are you?"
"7" She replied.
Out of the mouths of babes.
I loved your story about the old man and the computer. Very funny
[foot in mouth] 1 day that always sticks in my mind. Half way thru building my 1st hotrod a freind comes around, we go 4 a drive to see a couple of other people. 1st place we go to a panel shop that had a new 34 ford body. I look at the saftey steel work done inside the car and say what a terrible job that had been done, the owner [unbeknown 2 me] standing in the back gound says "i did that." The group of us go over 2 a motor trimmer across the road and the panel beater whos shop we where in looks at a old holden ute and starts 2 pick on the work and its modified apperance, 2 minutes later a guy walks out of the toilet and says "im the panel beater/painter, who,s the 1 with the problem." The panel beater who owend the ute starts trying to sell me a paint job on my h/rod and starts telling me how i have done the right thing as the guy that frabicated the chassis has gone broke,2 wich the guy who had taken me around says"B S@#* thats my brother, and hes just moved shop, hes not broke". Moral of the story,, If u dont no the facts and dont have anything nice 2 say dont say it at all.
whowhatwherewhen: I loved your story about the old man and the computer. Very funny
Shortly after the CDROM drive came out many years ago, I read in a computer magazine the story that a lady bought a computer from a shop and rang them desperately the next day that the coffee holder that came out when you pressed that button wasn't strong enough.
revealer24: Shortly after the CDROM drive came out many years ago, I read in a computer magazine the story that a lady bought a computer from a shop and rang them desperately the next day that the coffee holder that came out when you pressed that button wasn't strong enough.
Oh my God! The naivety of some people.
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This happened years ago. I sold an old computer to an old man.
We spoke on the phone, and because he had no car he bought my computer without seeing it, and I delivered it to him.
He told me in the phone when he inquired that he had an 17" monitor that died. When I arrived at his place I only found an 14" one.
He said, he measured it - but he included the outer frame also.
I set up the machine and turned it on. Our conversation went like this:
Old man: Where is the dart game?
Me: There is no dart game on this machine.
Old man: So what game does it have?.
Me: The standard windows (98SE) games.
I started showing him OpenOffice.org that I installed on the computer.
Me: You can write letters with this.
Old man: Why should I write letters now when I never wrote one in my life?
Next morning he phoned that the computer didn't work. He threatened that he would call the police. A friend went to check it out. It turned out that it worked, except that the old man could not find his dart game on it.
By the time my friend returned home he phoned again. There was another computer problem. He was trying to play Solitaire and the cards kept flying back to the pack. My friend could no longer handle it and pulled the phone plug out of the wall socket.
Soon after I arrived home from work he phoned again.
Old man: There is a problem with the computer. I cannot shut it down.
Me: What happened?
Old man: There is a message that "The application performed an illegal operation". I called the police, and they told me to take it to a shop or call you.
Me: Who did you call?!?!, I asked thinking I might have misunderstood what he said.
Old man: The police.
Me: Why? They don't fix computers...
Old man: But it said, "illegal operation", and to me it is a police matter.
I could hardly wait to put the phone down. I couldn't contain my laughter...