When The Romance Dies... (11)
arabellaNear Farmington, Maine USA98 Threads 1 Polls 6,199 PostsLet's say your're in a relationship. When the two of you were dating, your partner was romantic and made you feel wonderful. Now that your relationship is official, things are changing. Your partner is no longer romantic and does not reciprocate your romantic gestures. What do you do???
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Well first i'd talk to him. See if there's something going on with him in his life i'm not picking up on. Then i'd have to take a look at myself. Has my attitude changed toward him and am i not being loving or romantic on my end to encourage him. Am i taking care of myself and looking my best for him or have i let things slide. I'd ask friends and my mom's opinion. Maybe even read a book on how to improve things. However, if too many things are lacking in that dept and have been for a while then that usually means the relationship was falling apart to begin with. I make sure i try everything i can to improve whatever problems we might be having but there comes a time when u have to let him know without his help this just isn't working anymore and move on. Hopefully u can still be friends or at least friendly with each other. You need to have that romance and love and intimacy if u want to stay together.
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Arabella, this is what I'm refering to in my other posts where I speak of not letting that spark go out. I can't be in a relationship in the traditional sense. I need someone adventurous, not afraid to let loose, and I don't mean just on the weekends, I mean all the time. I know, not quite the answer on this topic, but I don't know what I'd do in that situation, other than trying to avoid it from the beginning. I don't let myself take people in my life for granted, which I think in turn causes the issues you stated above. I'm no expert, but thats just my take from past experience.
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If the romance dies,the relationship will soon die also.I was fortunate enough to have an example of a strong bond with my parents.They get embarressing sometimes,but I wouldnt have it any other way.It's good to keep your partner on their toes.And always show you care.Even a wink every now and then shows that they're still important in your life.
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You are lucky with your parents' example! I never knew romance was important to me until I realized I didn't have any in my life.... Does that make sense?
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of course it does.I was lucky,but it also made me very picky about who I've dated.I wont settle for less then what I want.
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I cannot imagine, nor do I wish to what a relationship would be like without Romance; without Romance it would have no life, as with humor; dead in the water; that is totally against my nature; I love all of what can pass for "thr romance", be it overt, covert with all the nuances and metaphors. It keeps us all in a wonderful mood, or at least, that is what I've found....from what I can remember...I think; as a song says..."been so long"..:)
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....
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I will write you a letter dear Joanie, the site doesn't like my reply!!!
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great points above...
if the romance dies;
- communicate your feelings and wishes
- observe the outcome
- if romance continues, bonus ++++ xoxox
- if same old, same old...door
if the romance dies;
- communicate your feelings and wishes
- observe the outcome
- if romance continues, bonus ++++ xoxox
- if same old, same old...door
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Well since hindsight is always better than 20/20 I would say at this time is a good time for honest communication. As the relationship changes it is due to the two people in the relationship that changed. It might be that only one of the persons in the relationship has changed. Evidently, things were not as they were before so something has changed. Sometimes honest communication is not easy but without it a relationship will suffer. This is the time to be yourself in the relationship because during the dating one can put their best face forward but in reality all of who you are is who the other person should know and vice a versa. This can be a struggle but the closeness gained is worth the effort. One can think that they will not be accepted for themselves but if they are not accepted then there is a problem that needs to be dealt with. A wall between two people in a relationship can cause problems. Sure there is that part of you that you may not be ready to share yet but gradually as the relationship grows what you know about them and what they know about you should be more. Because you two are in the relationship together. When you give yourself to them they give themselves to you. So the sharing process becomes important because you both share the relationship together. Obviously they should be important to you and you should be important to them.
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Created: Apr 2005
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